The Way We Were
by LorelaiGilmore82
Summary: Never had he thought that life could be like this. When Gibbs informed his team about Ziva not being send back by Mossad, he finally realizes what he had lost. A story of a life time.
1. Memories

_Mem'ries, light the corners of my mind.__Misty water-colored memories of the way we were. Scattered pictures, of the smiles we left behind, smiles we gave to one another, for the way we were_

--

_Reedville/Virginia  
Chesapeake Bay_

_September 29__th__, 2054_

--

The gray-headed man sat in one of the white armchairs out on the porch, overlooking the lake that glistened in the late evening sun. The old property was surrounded by a complement of trees that probably would have a lot to tell if they only could. He listened to the wind that played through the old branches, sending the golden leaves dancing to the ground.

In his hand he had an old scrapbook, filled with faded pictures of the past. It had become a ritual to pull it out every night and to look at this life long lived. A life well lived, he had to admit, although it might not always have looked as if it would turn out that way. When he took it all into consideration, he had always made the right decisions when it came to the truly important things in life. And it had rewarded him with a long time of happiness and joy. He was grateful for all those happy, although not careless years. More than grateful and so he was not one to quarrel with his current situation. He would just look back on the happier times and there was still so much to live for.

He sensed her presence immediately when she sat down by his side, signalling the young woman who accompanied her that she would be okay on her own from here on. Her hair was nearly white, but still full and shining like silk. It hung loosely around her shoulders, giving her a touch of youth. She still was a beautiful woman even though a dark veil seemed to lie over her eyes. Only when she was with him, this veil seemed to lift from time to time. She reminded him of a poem an old, long gone friend had once told him.

_  
His tired gaze -from passing endless bars-  
has turned into a vacant stare which nothing holds.  
To him there seem to be a thousand bars,  
and out beyond these bars exists no world._

_His supple gait, the smoothness of strong strides  
that gently turn in ever smaller circles  
perform a dance of strength, centred deep within  
a will, stunned, but untamed, indomitable._

_But sometimes the curtains of his eyelids part,  
the pupils of his eyes dilate as images  
of past encounters enter while through his limbs  
a tension strains in silence  
only to cease to be, to die within his heart._

He couldn't remember who had written it. He forgot these things more easily now, yet another tribute he had to pay to age. Her view followed his and rested somewhere, where the soft light touched the calm waters. It had become a kind of a consuetude to them in the last weeks, to meet outside in the evenings, catching the last warming rays of the late fall sun. They sat in silence for a long time, both lost in their memories of the past, before he turned to her, a smile on his face.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked softly.

"Oh, I can't complain, although age is a gnawing companion," she answered with a soft laugh.

He loved to hear her laugh, it reminded him so much of _her_.

"Don't tell me!" he grinned one of his smiles, he was once famous for but which were rarely seen nowadays. "The Doctor wants to test a new kind of cardiogram on me. But I politely declined. I'm too old for experiments." He winked at her, sighing before they fell back into the comfortable silence they always shared when being together.

"I remember you telling me the story about you and your wife," she suddenly said, glancing at him.

He winced at the mentioning of her, bringing back not only happy memories but also painful ones.

"Yeah," he said absent minded.

"You met her at work, but then something happened that tore you apart," she recalled, but not remembering what happened exactly.

"Yes, something or better someone tore us apart," he agreed.

--

_Mem'ries, may be beautiful and yet what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget._


	2. You're not alone tonight

_**Author's Note:**_

Since my beta is very busy at the moment I'll post this un-betaed and will exchange it later. So all mistakes are mine.

Thanks for the reviews.

--

_Washington D.C__.  
May 2008_

They walked down the stairs in silence, too shocked by Vance prior revelation, no one trusting to look at the other, not believing what they had just heard. Arriving at their desks they found themselves all staring at Gibbs, seeking for an absolution that they knew would not come.

"What are we going to do, boss?" McGee asked his voice thin.

Gibbs had his back turned at his team, rummaging through one of his drawers but nevertheless could feel three pairs of eyes glaring at him. He straightened, his grim face leaving no room for arguments before he turned around and faced them.

"Nothing," he said.

"What do you mean - 'Nothing'?" Tony snapped. "You are not going to accept this? Are you!?"

"And what do you suppose me to do? DiNozzo?!" Gibbs threw the question back at Tony.

"You are kidding me," Tony was now yelling, "Since when are you such a coward?!"

It took Gibbs a second to be in Tony's face, glaring at him like a wild animal.

"Who are you calling a coward, DiNozzo?" he hissed threatening.

McGee reached out for Tony's shoulder, "Tony! That doesn't bring us anywhere," he tried to reassure him. But Tony shook his hand off, not breaking eye contact with Gibbs.

"You! I call you a coward! What will you do? Heh? Catch the first plane to spend the rest of your days with your buddy Franks on endless beaches, drinking Tequila," Tony barked at him, his arms waving around, causing everyone at the bullpen to observe the scenery, "Admit it Gibbs! You're glad. Finally you're getting rid of us!"

"Tony!" Ziva gasped. She had watched the whole scenery in silence until this statement.

"Don't you dare to say that again!" Gibbs now barked back with a finality that brought any upcoming retort from Tony to an end, while grapping him by the collar and pinning him against his desk. "Don't you dare say that again!" he repeated, his voice now barely a whisper, but still more than frightening.

It was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, the whole bullpen staring at Gibbs and Tony. No one having the heart to say something until Ziva stepped up and pulled Gibbs' hand from Tony's collar.

"Stop that," she shouted at them.

Gibbs let go of Tony and left without another word, while Tony still stood pinned up at the wall not moving. The rest of the bullpen settled back to their tasks at hand, while Gibbs' team stood somehow lost in the middle of it.

Tony only did move when Ziva tried to reach out for him.

"Don't!" he just pressed out, holding his arms up to block Ziva's gesture, "I need to get out of here!"

He was out of the building before either McGee or Ziva could do something about it.

--

McGee and Ziva had to break the news to Abby alone, who declined it for half an hour before she realized that her friends were really being sent away from her.

In an act of pure desperation she started to ramble about how Gibbs was going to stop this, "You'll see. He's not going to except this. No, he won't. So I better get started on these blood tests, he send down earlier and you two should better get your paperwork done, before he goes all nuts about you again. He's going to make this right!"

Abby now stared at McGee and Ziva, a pleading look on her face, "He's going to make this right, isn't he?"

"I'm afraid, he can't," it tore McGee's heart apart to crush Abby's hopes, but he couldn't lie to her. He just couldn't.

"First the Director and now the whole team? It's not fair, McGee! It's just not fair," Abby stated, trying to hold back the tears.

"I know Abs. I know," McGee nodded and took her into his arms.

"Ziva also tried to reassure Abby, placing her hand on her head, "It's going to be alright."

"How can you say that Ziva?!" Abby sniffed. "You'll be gone! I don't want you to go!" she exclaimed tears now streaming freely down her face.

"Me either," Ziva whispered, trying to hold back her own tears.

--

Tony signaled the bartender to get him another drink, he probably already had enough, but he didn't care. He had to numb this pain, the guilt he felt about Jenny's death and the knowledge that if he hadn't failed, the team would be still together. He had left the office shortly after Gibbs and headed straight for the bar. He had no doubt that Abby hadn't taken the news well. But who was he kidding? She would be devastated. He gulped down his whiskey and ordered another when he smelled a familiar scent at his side. Her arm brushed against his, when she sat down beside him.

"Make that two," she told the bartender, before her eyes rested on Tony's decomposed figure.

"Why are you here?" he asked without taking his eyes from his reflection in the mirror on the wall, already hating his own vision, but unable to look elsewhere. "Accusations are the last thing I need right now. I feel bad enough as it is!" he stated bitterly.

He felt her soft hand on his cheek and a gentle pressure that forced him to finally look at her.

"It's not your fault, Tony!" she said quietly.

"Like hell it is my fault!" he hissed angrily, pulling away from her touch. "How can you say it's not, if I had listened to you ... - I should have protected her. I should have done my freaking job!"

"She made her own decision, Tony! There was nothing we could have done to stop her. Don't do this to yourself."

He pushed her hand away and threw some money on the counter, obviously not in the mood to talk.

"Tony?!" she tried to get through to him.

"No Ziva!" he threw his hands up in desperation, "It's all my fault. The break-up. McGee losing every chance to ever find a woman," she would have laughed at this, if the situation was not such a crap. "Abby will probably never get over this and Gibbs - Gibbs will have his new team members killed in less than a week." he knew that this was not the time for joking, but he couldn't find any other way to express what he was feeling. What he had said to Gibbs earlier made him only feel worse. He didn't mean it. He had just taken his anger on himself out on Gibbs.

"And you," he looked at her with an intensity that she had never seen before, "They'll send you back to Israel, to do who knows what. And it's my fault! I can't even blame Gibbs for not doing anything about it. I messed up. Big time. And there's no way to make it right."

The guilt of breaking up the team was immense, but the feeling that he was the one to blame, for Ziva being sent back to Israel was unbearably. He felt as if there was something unresolved between them although he couldn't name it and now he would have to live with it.

He turned and left, ignoring Ziva calling his name to stop him. He just couldn't deal with her right now.

--

Gibbs sat in the dark, staring at his unfinished boat, a bottle of scotch in his hand. Silently debating where he would go from here.

In one angry attempt he threw the bottle against the wall, "I hope you're satisfied now!" he yelled into the dark and empty basement. "You're stubbornness did not only get you killed but broke up my team. MY TEAM!! Not like _you _would have ever understood that," he added sarcastically.

He kept cursing while he kicked the shattered glass away, running in circles, before all his strength left him and he let himself fall onto a wooden box. For the first time in his life he didn't know where to go from here. He seriously considered Tony's accusation to pack his stuff and ran off to Franks.

"Damn it!" he cursed.

He knew that they all had been disappointed about him earlier today. But he didn't want to give them hope, when there was none, at least not from his point of view. This time he didn't know how to fix it. Vance was not Jenny and to be his barking self would bring them nowhere.

--

Abby had finally fallen asleep, her head resting on McGee's shoulder, both sitting on the floor of her lab. The last time McGee had seen her nearly this devastated was after Kate's death.

Ducky had given her something for reassurance about half an hour ago, since she wouldn't calm down, and then had left the two of them on their own. Abby had fallen asleep shortly after, Bert securely pressed to her chest.

McGee stared into the dark, thinking. Sure it had not always been easy for him, after all this years still being the Probie, but somehow he had become used of it and he didn't want to think about how it would be without Tony's steady picking and without Ziva intimidating him.

But what disturbed him most, was the fact that Gibbs seemed not to be willing to do anything to change the situation. It seemed like he had given up. And this scared him more than anything else.

--

Tony had flopped down at his couch, whiskey glass in his hand, when he heard a knock on his door. He chose to ignore it but his visitor was persistent.

"Tony! Open the door! I know that you're in," Ziva shouted from the other side of the door, causing Tony to sigh deeply in desperation. Why didn't she get it?

"What Ziva!" he barked at her, when he swung open the door, "Why can't you just leave me alone? You should run, run as fast as you can from the man who brought all _this_ over you!" he slurred the last words, due to his massive consumption of whiskey this day.

He stepped back into his apartment turning his back at her. He really wished she would just leave him alone. He couldn't think and he feared he would say something unforgivable if she stayed around any longer.

"Was I ever someone to run?" She asked and turned him around, cupping his cheeks with her hands and pulling his head down. His forehead coming to rest on hers, both their eyes closed.

She sighed deeply before she opened her eyes, "Look at me Tony!" she ordered him, but he kept his eyes shut, "You're not to blame! Okay? _You're _not to blame!"

For a brief second she had had the feeling that he would open up to her, but then she felt him pull away as he turned towards the window.

"You're not going to let me in there, are you?" Ziva stated now bitterly.

Tony turned grinning sarcastically, "If you could now add: 'You've got your amour back on. That's that."

"What?!" Ziva stared at him in disbelieve. What was he talking about?

He held out his index finger to silence her, "Then I would answer: 'I have no amour left. You've stripped it from me. Whatever is left of me …Whatever I am … I'm yours.'" he paused for a moment before he continued, "But then again, I'm not James Bond."

"Can't you just for once shut up?!" Ziva now yelled at him angrily. "This is not a joke Tony! This is not one of your damn movies!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" He yelled back, not minding his neighbours to over hear all of what was said. "I just want you out of here! I don't want to see you anymore! Go!" He expected her to scream, yell, maybe even slap him, but all Ziva did was staring at him.

"So this is how you want things to end between us, yes?" She had never sounded this bitter and disappointed, not even after she found out about Jeanne and his undercover mission.

"No!" he exclaimed, his mind kicking back in and realizing what he had just said. He stepped closer, reaching out for her, "No. That's not how I want things to end. I don't want things to end."

Tony pulled her close, burying his head into her hair, "I'm sorry," he mumbled and he felt her nod against his chest. He pulled back once more but this time his hands wandered to her cheeks holding her face inches away from his own. A soft smile spread over her face when her eyes locked with his. After the most horrible day of his life, he suddenly felt something like peace and tranquillity by looking into these chocolate brown oceans he felt to drown in. He slowly bent further down. Just one gentle kiss goodbye, he told himself. Nothing more, just his way to say goodbye to her.

--

Ducky let himself in and made his way to the basement. Knowing that it was the place where his friend would lick his wounds. He found him still sitting on the box, staring at nothing.

Ducky sat down at his side and poured them both a glass of the scotch he had brought along.

"To Jenny," he toasted skywards.

"To Jenny," Gibbs repeated.

They both sat silent for a while, before Ducky spoke up, "What are you going to do, Jethro?"

"I don't know Ducky. I wish I did!"

--

She got up early, the soft morning sunlight dancing over Tony's naked form lying in between the covers. Carefully not to wake him she got dressed. She didn't regret her actions from last night, but she wasn't sure about Tony. She somehow had the feeling that she had used him. Drunk as he had been she wasn't sure if last night had been something he wanted or if he just got carried away, if the last night had been just the device for his guilt, a simple goodbye or maybe more. She just wanted to spare them both the embarrassment of the 'morning after'.

She leaned down over him one last time, caressing his cheek and placing a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Goodbye Tony," she whispered before she slipped out of his bedroom and out of his life.


	3. Light the corners of my mind

_**Author's Note:**_

The same with this chapter. All mistakes are mine. I hope you'll like it.

--

She had listened intently to him, noticing that recalling these old memories was hard for him. She placed her hand over his, causing him to look at her.

"When I woke up, she was gone. Out of my apartment and out of my life," he sighed.

"She didn't say goodbye?"

Tony shook his head.

"So your new Director tore your team apart and there was nothing you could do about it?" she asked, obviously offended by the end of the story. "But you did meet her again?!"

Tony sighed, staring into the now dark night, "It's late. I think we should go in."

He gave her a hand, helping her out of the white armchair and leading her inside.

"Mr. DiNozzo," he heard one of the nurses call his name, "I'll take care of her from here."

The nurse took the other woman's arm and guided her towards the stairs, nodding towards Tony, "Good night, Mr. DiNozzo. She'll be fine."

"Good night Angela," he smiled and then nodded towards his companion, "Good night."

"Good night," the woman smiled gently, "And tomorrow you're going to continue to tell me about your wife, yes?"

"I will," Tony nodded again, "I will," and then left for his room.

The elder woman watched him and then turned towards the nurse, "Tell me, who is this nice man?"

Angela sighed, "That's Anthony DiNozzo. You like him!"

"Yes I have the feeling I do."

Angela smiled, "Come on; let's get you ready for bed."

--

At the same time Timothy McGee sat beside his wife, both looking at his laptop where their son had sent them the newest pictures of their youngest granddaughter.

"She's growing so fast," he smiled, kissing his wife's hand.

"Yes, she is. And soon she'll be all grown up and have children of her own. And we'll be even older," she laughed.

"Why are you making fun of me now?" he asked, trying to sound offended but couldn't hide his smile.

"Because I like the way you look when you are pouting," she smiled and got up.

He followed her, his eyes tracing her into the bathroom, after all these years, he was still madly in love with her. He sighed, sitting down on the edge of the bed, his mind drifted towards Tony.

And as if she could sense it, his wife returned from the bathroom, sitting down at his sight and took his hand, "Any news from Tony?" she asked.

"No," Tim sighed, "Same old story. Abby was there two weeks ago. She said he doesn't look good."

"You think he's ever getting over it?"

"No, it's breaking his heart. But he refuses to let go."

"I'm sorry Tim!" she kissed him, "I know how much they mean to you."

He gave her a half hearted smile and kissed her back, "Thank you, Lil'."

--

Tony woke up early the next morning and before having breakfast he took a walk in the chilly morning air. He recalled Abby's visit, she had been worried about him, like she had always been for all those years. That was one of the things he loved about her and he could understand their concern, Abby's, McGee's and of course the children's. But still he had to do it. He had to try. He owed her that much.

Gibbs would have understood. He would have done the same thing in his situation. He still missed him. He was not always present in his mind, but from time to time and especially lately his mentor found his way into his thoughts. He could have used his advice.

--

When he sat down that night in front of the chimney he waited vainly for her, she wouldn't come instead Angela stepped at his sight.

"Mr. DiNozzo, I'm sorry. It's not a good night. She won't be able to come."

"I understand," Tony nodded, "May I see her?"

"Better not," Angela gave him an apologetic smile, "Let's wait and see how she's doing tomorrow."

Angela left him alone with his thoughts and the emptiness he had felt all these years ago, when he had woken up and found Ziva gone.


	4. Looking for something

_Somewhere over__ the Pacific  
Carrier Flight A285X_

_May 2008_

--

Tony stared out of the small window on the carrier that brought him to the USS Ronald Reagan and far away from his old life. The blue Pacific was glistening under him, some might call it beautiful but to him it looked like a desert. He had tried to contact Ziva a hundred times but couldn't reach her. Her cell-phone had been turned off all day and neither McGee nor Abby had heard from her since she had left the office yesterday. He had even called the Israeli Embassy but no one could or wanted to help him.

He had to admit he somehow expected Ziva to be gone in the morning, spending the night together had been probably her way of saying goodbye. He still had to remind himself from time to time that she just wasn't like any other woman.

He had driven to NCIS headquarters to pick up his stuff. He found Abby and McGee sitting in the bullpen, the only ones being there. The minute Abby saw Tony she ran to him and jumped into his arms, holding onto him for dear life.

"Tony," was all she got out in between sobs

"Abs, it's okay," Tony tried to loosen her grip on him, which made it hard for him to breathe and placed her gently back on the ground. "Did you hear something from Ziva?"

Abby and McGee both shook their heads. They both hadn't had the chance to say goodbye to her and there was nearly no doubt that she was already gone.

They were all silent lost in their own thoughts, while Tony gathered his things together, "So I guess this is it," Tony sighed, placing his box on his desk, "Let's don't make this a big deal, okay guys! It's not like we're never going to see each other again." He let out a false laugh, before he turned to Abby, wiping the still falling tears away, "Just don't forget me, okay Abs?"

"How can you say such things, Tony? I could never forget you!" Abby exclaimed shocked.

"I know Abs," he pulled at one of her pigtails, "I'm just going to miss you."

"You listen to me, Tony!" Abby said suddenly sounding very confident, "Gibbs will get you all back. You, McGee and Ziva. He'll find a way. He always does."

"Don't get your hopes up too high, Abs. This time it's different."

Abby shook her head vehemently, "You'll see."

Tony gave her a weak smile and hugged her, "Yes, we'll see," he whispered.

He turned to McGee, the smile gone, "Probie," he started and offered him his hand, "You'll promise me to have an eye on her and the boss, do you?"

"I'll will, Tony!" McGee promised taking Tony's hand and then both men united in a quick hug.

"And don't let these geeks get to close to you, you're a good agent. Don't forget that."

McGee looked surprised, "Thank you Tony. That's probably the nicest thing you ever said to me."

"Yeah," Tony laughed sarcastically, "Don't get used to it."

He had one good, last look around, before picking up his stuff, "Tell him goodbye from me!" he pointed towards Gibbs desk and Abby and McGee nodded in affirmation. "And if you hear from Ziva …"

"Yes, we will," McGee nodded.

"Goodbye," he finally said and headed for the elevator.

"Goodbye," McGee called after him and placed his arm around a sobbing Abby.

Gibbs stood in the parking lot in some distance, watching Tony leave, "Good luck, Tony," he said to himself before turning around and entering the building.

--

McGee was long gone to meet his new colleagues at the Cyber Space Crime Unit, when Abby returned to her lab in search of Bert. She found him sitting on one of her counters. She frowned; she couldn't remember that she had left him there.

"Hey Bert, what are you doing there?" she picked him up and found something placed under him.

She picked up the envelope with her name on it. With shaking hands she opened it, pulling out a picture of her and Ziva, both laughing. She remembered the day when McGee had taken this. They had been hysterical after Tony had patted in one of their well prepared traps. She couldn't remember what it was exactly; she just knew that Ziva and she hadn't stopped laughing about it for days.

She turned the picture around to find something written on it.

_Thanks for being a__ true friend._

_Goodbye… Ziva_

Abby huffed deeply, "We're going to fix this, Ziva!"

--

**  
**"We're almost there, Sir!" Lieutenant Commander Pike padded Tony on the shoulder who gave him a thump up in return. Ten minutes later the helicopter landed on the USS Ronald Reagan and Tony jumped onto the flight deck immediately greeted by a young Lieutenant.

"Welcome on board, Sir! I'm Lieutenant Rafts. Captain Mosley ordered me to bring you right up to the bridge," he got straight to the point.

Tony nodded, "I'll tail you. Just go ahead," he tried to shout over the riot on deck.

"Just follow me, Sir!"

His meeting with the Captain was more than brief. After five minutes he was already on his way to his quarters. He had the strong feeling that Captain Mosely didn't care much about his presence. Lieutenant Rafts left him alone after giving him some instructions where to find all the, in his eyes important locations, but Tony hadn't really listened. Finally he let himself fall onto his bunk bed. At least he wouldn't need to share his room.

"Home sweet home," he mumbled before getting up and starting to unpack his things. He had left Washington D.C. ten hours ago and already it felt like a lifetime away. He really didn't know how long he could bare living on this damned ship. His mind started to drift and finally his thoughts were back with Ziva. Maybe he should try to call her again? But he already knew deep down inside that he would not reach her. All he could do was probably wait and hope for a miracle.

--

Gibbs sat at his desk going through the files Vance had given him on his new Agents. So far there was nothing extraordinary about these three young ambitioned Agents, who would do as good in any other team. He had hoped that these files might reveal a reason for Vance actions that there was something about his new team that would explain why he had to give up his old. But after reading all of the reports twice, he still had no clue.

"Are you going to hide behind that wall all day, or are you planning to come out there anytime soon?" Gibbs suddenly asked.

"How long do you know that I'm here?" Abby pouted.

"Since you sneaked up the stairs 15 minutes ago," Gibbs smirked. "So what is it, Abs?"

Abby emerged from her hide-out and stepped in front of Gibbs desk, Bert still firmly clutched to her chest.

"So?" Gibbs raised one eyebrow.

"What are we going to do?" Abby looked at him with puppy eyes.

"About what?" Gibbs asked annoyed.

"Getting the others back!" Abby stated in a tone that made very clear that she more than disliked Gibbs behaviour.

Gibbs sighed and leaned back in his chair; shoving the files away he studied Abby for a while, picking his words carefully when he spoke.

"Come here," he signalled her to take a chair and sit down at his sight, "Look. It's not that I don't want to get them back. Believe me, I do, as much as you."

Abby wanted to interrupt him, but Gibbs silenced her with a gesture, "No, let me finish. If I would see a chance or a way to get them all back here, I would do anything to make it happen, but I don't see it. Can you understand that?"

"No!" Abby stated, emphasizing her words, with jumping to her feet. "No, I cannot understand that. You never give up, Gibbs. Never! And I can't accept that you're starting now!"


	5. Misty watered colored memories

_Reedville/Virginia_

_01:30am_

Tony didn't know how long he had been sitting in front of the chimney; he awoke by a soft touch to his shoulder. Slowly the veil oft sleep lifted and he looked up into the face of Greg, a young guy from the nightshift.

"Mr. DiNozzo, don't you want to go to bed?" he asked a sounding slightly worried. "It's getting chilly down here."

Tony noticed that the fire had gone out and that his old bones ached for his soft and warm bed. "I guess you're right Greg. Just give me a minute."

"No need to hurry Mr. DiNozzo. I just wanted to make sure you're alright. Good Night."

Tony nodded and smiled warmly at Greg, "Good night." he smirked, these young people always expected the worst.

Five minutes later Tony finally got up. He felt clumsy as always when he had fallen asleep in a chair. Ziva had always warned him to go to bed, when she had noticed that he was on the edge of sleeping. He massaged his left shoulder, which started to act up more frequently. It was the old bullet wound, which still hurt after all this years. What did people always say? Time will heal all wounds? Well he knew that this was just not true.

He made his way up the stairs and shortly stopped in front of her room. He carefully looked down the floor, to see if the night nurse was somewhere to be seen. When he had decided that the air was clear, he opened the door and stepped into the sparely lit room. He stayed at the door, not wanting to disturb her privacy. He just watched over her peaceful sleep for a while, before he finally left her and made his way to his own room.

--

"Abby I'm fine! Really!" Tony greeted his old friend who climbed out of the taxi that had parked in front of the residence. Her style had become more down-home over the years. She had lost the chains, skulls and all the little scary accessories and her make-up was more unobtrusive. But her hair and her clothes were black she was still good, old Abby after all.

"You can tell me that as often as you want Anthony DiNozzo," she exclaimed coming towards him, "I'm still coming to visit you."

"You shouldn't take all this on you. It's a long journey," Tony said while hugging her. As a matter of fact he was more than happy to see her.

"Don't be ridiculous, It's nothing and anyway when else do I get to see my godchildren and their children if not on days like this!" she waved him off and linked arms with him. "Come on dear. I need a drink."

"I don't think they serve Caff Pow in here," Tony grinned at her.

"Oh, honey! I'm off that. I need something stronger," she smiled back at him.

--

It was a big hello, when Abby was welcomed with great enthusiasm by her godson, and his three children.

"Aunt Abs," Samuel Jethro DiNozzo exclaimed, when he saw his godmother coming towards them, "Now that's a surprise! It's good to see you!" he hugged her tightly, always having a special connection with the woman he remembered to have so much fun with, when he was still a child.

"Sam, you're getting more and more attractive every time I see you. If I was just 20 years younger!" she patted him playfully on the cheek. "Now where are my three little gorgeous once?"

"Right over here!" Lisa DiNozzo shoved her three children into Abby's direction, which caused some kind of pack-cuddling that nearly sent Abby to the ground.

"Kids you all have grown so much since I last saw you," she shrieked in her old manner.

"Aunt Abby, you must come and watch us play ball!" seven-year old Ben, the oldest of the gang demanded.

"Later honey," she patted the little man on the head, who looked so much like his grandfather, "First I need to chat with you parents for a while, okay?"

Ben was obviously disappointed but took of with his sisters, five-year old Lorelai and three-year old Jenny sometimes it was hard to be the big brother.

"So Sam, where's your sister?" Abby asked while taking her place at Tony's sight and taking the glass of brandy from his hand.

"Kate is late as always," Sam grinned with the same smile his father had grinned all these years ago. Sam had inherited his father's good looks and womanizer skills, but he had also inherited his mother thoughtfulness, sense of duty and her dark eyes. He really had grown up to become a handsome and caring man. And he had found himself a more than wonderful woman with Lisa, who had given him the most adorable family you could imagine.

Katherine Abigail McGee on the other hand looked like an image of her mother, the long dark, curly hair, the slim figure, but she still had a playfulness to her that was every bit like her father. Now she came running towards the group, rosy cheeks, her eight year old son Tim jr., six-year old Tali and her husband in tow.

"Sorry folks for being late but the traffic was just ridiculous!" she exclaimed breathless.

"I told her we were running late, but she wouldn't listen to me," Scott Donald McGee apologized in much the same way his father used to apologize. He and Kate had married almost ten years ago, when after 28 years of friendship they had finally realized that they were made for each other. "Very 'When Harry met Sally'," Tony had said at their wedding, "But hopefully without the played orgasm," which had caused everyone to laugh.

"How are your parents doing?" Tony asked Scott.

"They're fine. Dad told me to greet everyone and that he'll definitely come the next time," Scott replied, while hugging his father-in-law and Abby, before sitting down with Kate and starting to exchange the latest family news, about his sister Casey who lived in Spain working for the art college in Madrid and his brother Brain who was always to busy to come to any family reunion.

--

At first Tony did not recognize her presence, he was to much engaged in showing Lorelai how to tie a bow, but then he saw his son staring at something behind him and turned around.

"Oh I didn't want to disturb your family meeting," she said, already turning to leave.

"No, you're not," Tony exclaimed and jumped to his feet as fast has his old bones would allow him and stepped at her sight, offering her to have a seat.

"This is my son Sam, with his wife Lisa and the three little ones over there are my grandchildren Ben, Lorelai and Jenny."

They all nodded at her with a pleasant smile, which she returned.

"And this is my daughter Kate, with her husband Scott and Tali and Tim jr.," Tony continued to introduce his family.

"Tali, what a beautiful name," she said.

"It's Hebrew," Tali exclaimed proudly and the hit again behind her brother.

"And this is one of my oldest and dearest friends, Abby!" he finished.

The both woman shook hands and smiled.

"I really don't want to disturb you," she got up again, feeling somehow uncomfortable, "It was nice meeting you!"

"You too," she received as an answer from all.

"We'll see each other tonight," Tony said, quickly taking her hand as if he wanted her to promise it. She nodded and left them to their own again.

"Dad don't you think you should come home with us?" Kate asked worried. "It's six month now that she's gone. It's not going to get better. Don't you think it would be better for you, if you would live with us?"

"No! I'll stay here. And we're not having this conversation again."

"Dad, she doesn't even recognize you, or us!" Kate tried it again but already knew that it was useless. Her father was just too stubborn.

--

Later that night Tony sat in his usual arm chair out on the porch, two blankets on his lap, waiting.

"That is a nice family you have," she suddenly spoke, sitting down beside him, "They remind me of my own."

"I'm sure they do," Tony smiled.

"How often do you see them?" she asked and took the blanket he offered to her.

"They try to come and visit every two weeks," Tony answered.

"That's nice," she nodded her agreement.

"Yes they are very thoughtful. I really can't complain."

They were silent for a while, before she looked at him and spoke, "How does your story continue?"

"Well," he sighed,"For the next two month after I arrived on the USS Ronald Reagan I did not hear from Ziva and not much from my old team members either, but one day I got a call from my old boss Gibbs."


	6. The Rocky Water

_Washington__D.C.  
__August 2008_

--

As it had become a custom after Gibbs' team had been disbanded, Abby was sitting in her lab, all by herself. She blankly stared at a computer screen, desperately hoping for something to happen. She had kept scaring away the new team members until, one by one, they had stopped visiting the lab for any other reason than to run an errand for Gibbs. She knew it hadn't been their fault, yet still she couldn't stand having them around; their presence just kept reminding her that Tony, Ziva and McGee had been sent away and now were somewhere else, even though they clearly belonged here.

Abby was feeling very un-Abby.

After a while Gibbs had ceased sending them to the lab and instead had come himself. She hadn't been much friendlier to him. It had been nine weeks since Tony, Ziva and McGee had been sent away and still Gibbs refused to do something about it. So, Abby was still angry with him and they only talked when it was absolutely necessary. Whenever possible, she limited her communication method to nodding and grunting when Gibbs was around.

Whenever possible, McGee had sneaked out of the CyberCrimes Unit to visit her and these brief moments usually were the high point of that day for her. Occasionally she would pay Ducky and Palmer a visit in autopsy, watching them silently, simply enjoying their company while all the time imagining that Ziva and Tony would come bursting through the doors any minute, while arguing about something really stupid, causing everyone to shake their heads and them not even noticing.

She talked to Tony from time to time and he never failed to ask if they had any news from Ziva. Yet every time she had to disappoint him, nobody had heard anything from her since she had left for Israel. McGee had tried everything to get a hold of her, or at least find out anything about her current location, but everything led to a dead end. She was worried about Ziva, really worried.

She knew that Gibbs would appear any minute now, since he had asked her for the test results almost an hour ago and he appeared as if on cue.

"Got something for me, Abby?" he asked not expecting a spoken answer.

Abby just nodded and then added, "Guilty as charged. You have your murderer." She turned to her computer, not looking at Gibbs when he set to leave. Only after she'd heard the elevator doors close again, she turned around and looked at the empty spot Gibbs had occupied moments before. Her view came to rest on a small piece of paper that hadn't been on her desk before. Suspiciously she looked around her lab, then picked up the note and turned it over.

_Tonight  
0900  
Basement_

--

When Abby got out of her car that night she didn't really know what to expect, she had seriously considered not to come, but now she was here and was ready for whatever might come.

She walked down the stairs to the basement and met Gibbs' gaze, who leaned on the workbench, his expression unreadable. She returned his stare with the same intensity.

"What's this about?" Abby asked, her voice still heavy with the disappointment she felt about Gibbs giving in so easily on this whole situation.

"We need to talk, Abs," he plainly stated, not letting her tone influence him.

"If you want to tell me another time why you can't or won't get them back then I'd rather leave. I don't want to hear another lecture about it. I'm fed up with that!"

"It's time to get them home, Abs," he said, a slight grin playing around his lips, as he watched the multiple emotions wash over Abby's face and suddenly, for the first time since the old team members had left, there was a hint of the old Abby.

"Yay! I knew it! I knew it! I always knew that you wouldn't just take it," she shrieked in delight, closing the distance between them and throwing his arms around his neck.

"Did you?" he raised one eyebrow at her.

"I admit that for the past weeks it might have not seemed like that. But deep down inside I knew you would come to your senses!"

He gave her puzzled look, but couldn't stop the smile that broke out on his face. It was good to have Abby back.

"How long have you been planning this?" she asked, hopping onto the workbench, letting her legs swing girlishly.

"Since Vance broke up the team!" Gibbs stated pouring himself a glass of scotch.

"And you did tell no one?" she asked, declining Gibbs' offer to pour her one too.

"I may have had a little help," he said pointing towards the top of the stairs.

"McGee!" she shrieked again, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't wanted to get your hopes up before we found something that could help us," he apologized as he walked down the stairs.

"And, now, you did find something?" Ducky asked appearing in the doorway.

"You're in this too? I can't believe it. You three are like a little CIA, spooky! I can't believe you kept this from me all this time!" Abby shook her head in disbelieve.

"And you thought I would just let them go," Gibbs smirked.

--

_USS Ronald Reagan  
__Pacific Ocean__  
One week later_

Tony lay awake staring at the ceiling. The fog of sleep slowly lifting when he started to remember his dream. As usual it had been about Ziva, but tonight it hadn't been one of the bitter sweets he used to have night after night when glimpses of the one night they had spent together popped up in his dream, when he could feel her lips on his, feeling so real that for a moment he thought she was really here with him.

But tonight had been different and when he normally fell asleep easily after dreaming about her this time he couldn't stop thinking about it. He had seen her in some alley walking towards a dark end in the shadows, him shouting out for her and when she didn't hear him he had tried to reach out for her. But every time he was nearly at her side she had disappeared until he couldn't find her any more.

He had woken at his own voice shouting her name and had found himself tangled and sweating between his sheets. He didn't know how long he had been awake when he heard the knock on his door.

After the call he had answered on the bridge there wasn't much that he could recall later - Not how he got onto the bridge and not how he managed to get back to his quarters all he could hear for hours was Abby's voice telling him.

"You're coming home, Tony!"

--


	7. Of the Way We Were

Hey guys, I'm really sorry. I would love to update more often, but work seems to differ on this topic. And I auditioned for "Into the Woods" a musical and I really got a part, so now I have rehearsals like every day. ;-) But I'll do my best!

--

She looked at him, waiting for more but he wouldn't continue, "What did they find against the director to get you back?" she finally asked.

Tony sighed, "I have to admit I can't recall it in all details and honestly it doesn't matter anymore. He got what he deserved in the end."

He had pushed the circumstances of Vance actions to tear them apart and what happened to bring the team back together far away. It was hard for him to recall the month after his return and he would prefer not to be reminded of it.

It had gotten late again and he longed for his bed. He loved having his family around but it also exhausted him now much more than it had a few years ago. He guided her up the stairs and left her to Angela's care for the night. He knew he had to get some sleep when he wanted to go on his long planned trip tomorrow. It was time to visit an old friend and seek for some advice.

--

He had to get up early the next morning, too early to say goodbye to her or tell her where he was going. But he planned on being back in the evening to meet her out on the porch. He wouldn't brake their habbit.

He grabbed his bag and headed to one of the garages that where located on another part of the property. He stepped into the cool dark and switched on the lights. There she was, his beauty a 68er red Mustang. A present from his wife to his 50th birthday, he treasured this car, it ment so much to him.

He opened the big garage doors and climbed behind the wheel. He couldn't help but grin his old, famous DiNozzo smile when he put on his sunglasses and started the engine, somehow feeling thirty years younger. He pulled into the driveway and turned on the radio, searching for one of his favourite stations. He finally settled on the tunes of 'Don't Bother' an old Shakira song. She had been big when he was younger and now she was a grandmother herself giving concerts every now and then but to him she was a pleasant memory of the past.

He took the road down the coast to West Point where he wanted to fill up on Gas before he would change to Highway 95. He pulled onto the gas station and got out of his car. The sun was shining brightly on this fall day and it was nearly warm, so he decided to take down the roof top of his Mustang, while a young guy called Todd refilled his tank.

"Here you go," Tony smiled at the boy and tipped him well.

"Thank you, Sir," Todd smiled brightly, "Nice car, you have there!" he nodded aknowlediging at the red Mustang. "Thinking about selling it?"

Tony laughed, this kid was funny, "Never ever, boy."

"Too bad," Todd shrugged, "Have a nice trip!" and with that he dissapeared into the shop again.

Tony shook his head and got back into the car, the kids today really were different. But why shouldn't they? A lot had changed in the last forty years. Wars ended, new ones had begun and ended again and somehow mankind had managed not to blow the world up in a big nuclear war. New coalations had been formed, new friends been made and right now the world could actually be called a peaceful place. At least for a while. Who would have thought? Forty years ago.

"Gosh!" he called out to himself, thinking about it that all made him really old. He should stop thinking about how he had changed in the last forty years. How is life had been turned upside down more than once in the last forty years, he chuckled. At last getting older was not as bad as he had believed it to be, forty years ago. He head-slapped himself to make him stop thinking about forty years ago.

He came to a halt at a red light when he was pulled out of his thoughts by a group of young girls passing by him. He flashed them one of his old smiles and they started to giggle, waving shyly at him before turning around the next corner.

He laughed, "DiNozzo, old man! You still got it!" somethings at least never changed.

--

After another four hours he had finally reached his destination. A small town on the coast called Manteo. Ziva and he had spent a lot of summers here on the seashore. Sometimes alone and sometimes with the whole team. Five years had passed since they spent their last summer on the shoreline and life had still been easy.

He pulled into the small driveway and parked the Mustang to walk the last meters to his destination. He had no flowers with him. He knew that they would not be much appreciated. He stood there for minutes in silence lost in thoughts, staring on the ground before he finally spoke. He knew he had all the time in the world now.

"Hey Boss! How is it going?" he kneeled down, touching the cold stone. "You're greatly missed down here."

The last month' had been imbareable hard for Tony and he had missed his old mentor more than usual. Although now a man of age himself he still looked up to him. That had been the reason why he decided to take this trip to Manteo.

It felt good to talk about all the pain and sorrow he needed to hold inside and knowing he would be listened to but not have to answer any questions. Gibbs had always been there. No matter the circumstances. If he needed someone to wash his head Gibbs would do it. If he needed his advice he would give it to him and if he needed his support he would be there. And he still was. He could still count on him.

He sat in front of the grave and talked, like he could only talk to him since his wife was gone and it lightend his heart until old memories came back to haunt him.


	8. Back in the saddle again

_Hey guys, here's the next chapter. Hope to get to work on the next one on the weekend. But can't promise. I also have rehearsals. _

_So let me know what you think. _

_--_

_NCIS Headquarters_

_Washington D.C._

_August 2008_

_--_

Tony had been back for a week. He had been nearly crushed by an overly exited Abby, who hugged him until he thought he would faint. McGee had just stood there and grinned until Abby released him and Tony had collapsed into his chair trying to catch his breath.

"Good to have you back," McGee had stated before returning to his desk, still grinning from ear to ear.

All Tony could do was nod, since talking was totally out of the question for the next five minutes.

They had been incredible close the whole week, not only emotional but also physical as if they feared that this all could just be a dream and the minute they would turn around they would be torn apart again. They hadn't seen much of Gibbs the whole time. He had been made temporary director until the SecNav had decided on Vance' replacement. It hadn't took much effort from Gibbs to get what he wanted from the SecNav, knowing that Gibbs had saved the agency a lot of embarrassment had Vance' true motives and actions had not been revealed in time, he agreed immediately on Gibbs request to have his old team back and the promise that it would be Gibbs decision alone whether and when his team would be separated ever again.

Right now Gibbs paced through MTAC impatiently waiting for his requested transmission, while his team sat in the bullpen.

--

"Abby, don't you have work to do?" McGee asked, since Abby hadn't move from Ziva's desk all day.

"Shh, McGee!! I'm trying to get something!"

Tony and McGee exchanged an odd look and both leant forward on their desks, eyeing Abby curiously.

"And what would that be, Abby?" Tony whispered.

Abby had her boots on the desk, leaning back in the chair, eyes closed. Now she got up and went over to Tony, looking left and right as if she was afraid someone would overhear their conversation.

"A feeling!" she hissed, barely loud enough for McGee to hear it.

Both men nodded then shook their heads in unison, not understanding a word of what Abby was trying to tell them and so Tony chose to change the subject.

"So Abby how long did it take the parasites that occupied our territory to back off?" he asked referring to Gibbs temporarily team.

McGee burst into laughter when he heard the question, which caused Tony to be in his face in seconds.

"What is so funny about this question, McGiggle?" he hissed, trying to be intimidating.

"Nothing Tony, you're question is not funny at all," McGee answered, still grinning from ear to ear, "but Abby's answer will be."

"Now you got me curious," Tony swirled around, now facing Abby, "Spit it out!"

Abby again looked left and right making sure no one was ear-dropping on them before she started, "I told you that they all were, how should I put it? Well let's say they all have been a little bit unsure about me."

"Ha!" McGee laughed, "They were scared to death about you!"

"Yes that too," Abby shrugged, "Anyway when I heard the news that you were coming back, I might have overreacted."

"Overreacted?" Tony frowned.

"A bit," Abby admitted.

"A bit?!" McGee snorted.

"Well maybe a bit more," Abby grinned.

"What did you do, Abby?" Tony demanded to know.

"I may have hugged and told them that they should better start packing before Gibbs would through them out with his own hands," Abby couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her mouth.

"You did not!" Tony exclaimed laughing, he could picture Abby so perfectly just doing that.

"Well I think they thought Abby was totally insane. And she had this frightening look on her face, you know the one she gets when she's really pissed ... ," McGee couldn't continue since the image of Abby staring at the poor Probies popped back into his mind and made him laugh again.

Tony just grimaced, knowing exactly which expression McGee referred to.

"And then Gibbs came in and told them in a very 'Gibbs-Way' that they were reassigned," Abby joined the laughter, "And they nearly fled out of here."

Tony grinned from ear to ear, "So Abs, were they really that bad?"

"No, they just weren't you guys," Abby said sounding now more serious.

They were all silent for a moment, knowing exactly what Abby meant.

"So is there really nothing to do down in your lab?" McGee brought up the earlier topic.

"Nope," she answered, hoping to sit on Ziva's desk, "And as I said I have the feeling something is going to happen."

Tony shrugged and closed his eyes, he loved being back and no one would ever again take this away from him.

--

"What do you mean, you can't consider this right now?" Gibbs tried hard to keep the rage that was building up inside of him under control. This man was playing with him and there was nothing else he could do about when he wanted what he had asked for.

"Agent Gibbs, don't think I don't know what you and you're team meant to my daughter. And although I still think sending her back like this, without informing Mossad in advance was a rather rude action I do accept your apology. But right now I can't consider to send her back."

"I want to talk to her," Gibbs demanded.

"I'm afraid that won't be possible either," David answered.

Gibbs let out a sarcastic laugh, this man really was funny, "Will there be a time, when you _can_ consider sending her back?!" Gibbs now barked loosing his temper with this arrogant bastard.

"You'll be the first to know, Agent Gibbs. I promise you that," David replied.

He didn't heard Gibbs outburst, since Gibbs had cut of the transmission just before hell broke loose.

--

"McGee!!" Gibbs voiced barked down from the balcony, causing all three to spin around and turn their attention to Gibbs, who was storming down the stairs.

"Ehm, yes boss?" McGee asked carefully.

"I want you to locate Ziva and to get her on a phone," he still barked, now standing in front of McGee's desk.

"But boss, I... ," McGee stumbled.

"I don't care how you do it. Where you have to hack yourself in to get the information and to contact her. Just get me what I want!"

"Sure boss," McGee nodded although he had no idea how to do what he was asked to.

"Gibbs?" Abby asked carefully, already sensing that something was wrong.

"Ziva?" Tony nearly didn't get it out. He knew it, the last week had been to good to be true.

Gibbs nodded, "Mossad is not sending her back."


	9. Scattered Pictures

Hey guys, I know this one is rather short, the next one will make up for it though. Rehearsal went well, but I'm really tired so I'm not to sure about my grammer and my spelling. Not that I've ever been.

Enjoy and tell me what you think. R&R

--

_Manteo  
October 1st, 2054_

Tony sat up in front of Gibbs grave and smiled warmly at his old mentor.

"Thanks for listening, boss. But I'll better head back now. It's getting late and I don't want to leave her alone over night."

He waved goodbye, somehow feeling odd about this gesture, but doing it nevertheless. He climbed back into the car, feeling suddenly extremely hungry. He decided that he had still enough time to catch something to eat before he headed back.

He pulled into the parking lot of the small restaurant he had used to visit with his wife. It was nothing fancy, just a nice, little, cosy restaurant that they had fallen in love with. It still looked like he remembered it. The blue blinds, the white walls and the green ivy that grew up the old walls. He stepped into the warm atmosphere and headed for their usual table at one of the back windows from which you could overlook the beautiful garden that spread behind the house.

A young waitress came immediately towards him smiling gently.

"Good afternoon, Sir," she offered him the menu but he declined. He knew exactly what he wanted.

"Spaghetti Bolognese, please and a glass of mineral water," he ordered.

She nodded and disappeared again, leaving him alone with his thoughts.

--

"What do you mean he drove to Manteo on his own?" McGee asked into the telephone.

"Why do you always have to ask such stupid questions?" Abby shock her head which of course went unnoticed by McGee.

"Well," he didn't know what else to say.

"I mean he got into his Mustang," but Abby couldn't finish her sentence.

"You mean he really got the old thing out of the garage? I can't believe it," McGee laughed.

"Could we please focus on the important things right now?" Abby sighed in deep frustration.

"Oh yes, I'm sorry Abs! Go on." McGee grinned.

"Anyway he drove down to Manteo," Abby just gave him the short version.

"You already said that," McGee still grinned from ear to ear, knowing that Abby was away far enough to do something about it.

"Why didn't he ask us if we wanted to come along?" she pouted into the receiver.

"I don't know, Abs. Maybe there is something he has to do on his own?" McGee shrugged, not knowing what was going on with Tony lately.

"Yeah maybe," Abby agreed, "Is Lil' there?" she changed the subject.

"Sure, do you wanna talk to her?" McGee asked.

"Yepp. It's been a while."

"Just hang on a second. I'll get her."

--

Tony looked out of the window while waiting for his dinner to be served. Is mind floated back to the events he had recalled earlier, when Gibbs had told them that Ziva wouldn't come back.

After all these years he still felt the pain, when Gibbs had dropped the bomb. It was the moment he had realized what she really meant to him and the moment he knew that he might never get the chance to tell her. He had tried to banish the memory, but it came back to haunt him every now and then.

Suddenly he felt strange. Something was wrong. It was getting unbearably hot, he had difficulties to breathe, he grab for one of the tissues and signaled the waitress to bring him some water, before he sank on the ground and everything went black.

--

She missed something that night. She didn't know what, but she had this strange feeling that something was wrong and sleep wouldn't come easily.


	10. Tonight I wanna cry

_Hey guys. I stole some minutes today just for you. Ziva will finally shows up in this chapter. I thought it was about time._

_Enjoy and review, please!_

_--_

_Washington D.C.  
August 2008_

There wasn't much to say, after Gibbs had dropped the bomb. They set in silence for what felt an eternity. No one daring to look at the other, knowing they had been fools to believe everything would work out the way they had planed it. After Tony had been send back they hadn't wasted a thought about the possibility that Ziva might not come back.

Silent tears fell down Abby's face, sometimes they would hear her sniff, she sat at Ziva's desk fumbling with a paperclip. Gibbs had left them after delivering the news. He couldn't stand the sight of his broken-hearted team. They all knew that this decision was out of their hands. That there was nothing they could do about it.

At some point McGee took a deep breath and started to type on his keyboard.

"What are you doing, Probie?" Tony looked up and stared at him, his eyes empty.

McGee shuddered he had expected them to be filled with rage and anger but there was nothing there. He had never seen this look on Tony. Not after Jeanne and not after Jenny.

"Finding Ziva," he finally answered quietly and looked down again, unable to bare Tony's look any longer.

Tony stood up and gathered his things together, not turning back when Abby called out his name. He stepped into the elevator, his eyes fixed on some point at the wall behind Abby, who had gotten up and followed him, a pleading look on her face. But his face stayed empty.

--

Abby walked slowly back to McGee's desk and stared at him, "What are we going to do now?" she asked her voice barely a whisper.

McGee sighed deeply before he looked up and met her sad eyes, "I don't know Abs. I just don't know."

--

He had wandered the streets for hours until he had stepped into the bar that suddenly emerged behind a corner. He sat in a dark corner and ordered several whiskeys. The last night he had spent with Ziva crawled back into his mind. The night that had started in a bar similar to this one. But he knew this time she wouldn't come. She wouldn't take the pain away. He remembered her lips on his and the way she had felt in his arms. Her long locks dangling in his face, tickling his nose when she had smiled down at him. All those nights on the ship, when sleep wouldn't come he had recalled this night they had spent together. And all those weeks he had believed he just missed her as a friend.

He laughed at himself. A dry sarcastic laugh. Wasn't it funny how one tiny moment could change your life? How one sentence could make you see everything crystal clear, when you had been blind for month or even years. And was it not just life's twisted idea of irony and fate that all this knowledge was useless, because there was nothing you could do about it? To change things. And it all was his fault.

All those years he had been attracted to her, who wouldn't be? She was a damned attractive woman. But he had missed the point when being attracted to her changed into something else. Something more. He went back in time, trying to find a hint when his feelings had actually changed. Was it after Jeanne had left? Was it even before? He didn't know. He only understood that he had let the chance to be with her slip by. His fault, again. He knew the opportunity had been there. She had offered him more than one chance.

--

She smelled the early morning air, while they drove through the rural territory which lay still in the dark. The sun wouldn't dawn for another hour. Her mind drifted to her friends in Washington D.C. so far away. She wondered what they were doing. She knew nothing about the recent developments and she feared that many weeks would pass until she would get the chance to contact them. The mission was just too dangerous to do such a careless thing as to give them a call or send them a postcard. Yet she ached to tell them that she was alright and that she missed them.

"Ziva?!", she turned to the man beside her and nodded, they were almost at their destination. She checked her weapons one last time before they jumped out of the car to accomplish their mission.

--

Tony had arrived at his apartment, he sat in the dark staring at nothing, the TV flimmering in the background, a glass of whiskey in his hands. He recognized the red light form the answering machine blinking, he knew it would be Abby who also tried to call him on his mobile phone, he ignored it. He felt the tears dwell up behind his eyes. Felt them burning their way up. He had never been the kind to let his feelings show, but he was just drunk enough to let go of his pride. He knew tonight he was going to cry.

His view fell on a picture of him and Ziva on the wall. Taken a couple of weeks before she had returned to Israel. He remembered when he met her for the very first time. How she had intimidated him at first. And how impressed he had been, although he would never admit that. He had never met a woman like her and he was pretty sure he would never again. She had been so confident, so immune against his charms. And she had played with him like no other woman before. She had frightened him. They had been distant at first until they had been send undercover and he caught a glint of the real Ziva. Their bond had grown stronger from there on. Their constantly nagging becoming a symbol of their friendship. And although there had also been rough times, they had always pulled it back together.

Of course he knew that there had always been the possibility that he would not see her again. But he had tried so hard to ignore this knowledge that the truth hit him even harder now.

--

When Ziva opened the door to her room that night, she felt his absence more than usual. She looked around, taking in her accommodation for the night. It was nothing cozy, but still better than sleeping in the car or on the ground like she had so often in the last weeks. She let her bag pack drop to the floor and fell backwards onto the bed. Her eyes fixed on a dirty spot on the ceiling. Her father had given her practically no time to settle down. He had send her on this mission only a week after her return to Israel. She didn't know if this was a sign of trust or if he wanted to punish her for something. But she had not much time to muse about this.

What she would give for a shower right now. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so dirty and stinky. Tony would have laughed at her would he have seen her like this. Her hair a mess and the lack of sleep finally getting to her. But the worst thing was that she had no idea how long she would be on this mission which had led her through three Arabic countries so far. Still they hadn't get any closer to their target. A man called Acham Archid, believed to be the head of one of the most dangerous terror cells in the Near-East. She was accompanied by Isaac Friedman, a young ambitioned Mossad agent, who had nothing else on his mind than accomplishing the mission, when all she could think of was her family back in Washington D.C.. She knew that this was dangerous and that it eventually could cost her life.

She reached for her bag pack and fumbled with a hidden pocket at the bottom, taking out a picture of Abby, McGee, Gibbs, Tony and herself. Ducky had taken it, half a year ago after they had all headed out for a couple of drinks after work. Tony holding two fingers up behind McGee's head, Abby had linked arms with Gibbs and Tony had placed his arm around Ziva's waist pulling her close, while all beamed into the camera. Obviously happy. It seemed like ages ago.

She hadn't heard someone knock on her door, when suddenly her door was kicked open and three men with machineguns stood in the door way. She was up in a second, hiding the picture in a quick movement in the waistband of her trousers. She knew she had no chance against these men and still she was considering to try it, when a forth man appeared behind the others, throwing the lifeless body of Isaac in front of her.


	11. Of the smiles we left behind

_I really like how this one turned out. Hope you'll like it too. Let me know!_

_And now I'm going to watch the new Bond! God, I love Daniel Craig!_

_--_

_Road to Manteo  
October 2nd, 2054_

--

Tony blinked into the white neon light. He tried to take in his surroundings, blinking another time. He could make out some dimly figures, hushed voices, but he had difficulties to focus on something in particular.

"Mr. DiNozzo?" a female voice caught his attention. He tried again to blink away the shadows that seemed to lay over his eyes.

"Mr. DiNozzo, can you understand me?" the voice asked him now.

He nodded his head in approval and tried to speak but only got out a croaking, "What..?"

"There's no need to be worried Mr. DiNozzo," the voice spoke in a soothing tone, "You had a circulatory collapse. Probably caused by too much stress and the lack of fluid. Do you understand that?"

He nodded again, feeling much calmer now, after he had believed it to be a heart attack.

"You should try to rest now," the voice instructed him further, "I'll come back later to check on you."

Tony closed his eyes. He indeed felt exhausted and it took him only seconds to drift of.

--

"I told you it was a stupid idea to let him drive to Manteo on his own," Abby head-slapped McGee sitting next to him on the backseat of Sam's car.

"Ouch! Well, you shouldn't have told me, but Tony," McGee defended himself.

"You talked to him before this trip. So you should have come up with this idea yourself. Smart ass!" Abby stated.

"Aunt Abs, you know dad. He wouldn't have listened anyway. Once his mind is set there's nothing you can do about it," Sam tried to pour oil on the troubled water.

"Oh yes. We experience this everyday," Kate sighed and then focused back on the map. "Manteo is the next exit!"

"Kate, you don't need to tell me where to go. That's what the navigation-system is for, "Sam sighed in frustration.

"Oh the modern stuff? I prefer a good old map," she said, holding up the map that was placed on her lab.

"Where did you get that anyway? I thought they quit selling this stuff thirty years ago," Sam teased his sister.

"Dad gave it to me. You know how much he loves this old stuff!"

"For dad it's okay to be this antiquated but for you?" he let out a disapproving snort, while Kate shot him an evil look.

"Oh these are wise words from Mr. CD! No one is listening to CD's anymore!"

"Pah! A lot of people know to value the qualities of a good, old CD! My dear Katherine!"

"Oh is it so, Samuel!" she glared at him.

"Yes!" he hissed.

"Oh!" Abby squealed in delight, "Aren't they just like their parents?"

--

When the gang burst into Tony's room they found him sitting on the small table reading the newspaper. Abby burying in a bear hug, giving him no chance to escape.

"I guess, some things never change," he chuckled after Abby had released him and he sat down his glasses.

"You scared us to death, Tony!" Abby exclaimed now, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Ouch!" Tony rubbed his arm, "I'm sorry that has never been my intention."

"Did you have to drive all the way down here on your own?" Kate asked, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"Oh that's your mother's look I see there," Tony grinned, "Can't mean anything good!"

Sam couldn't help but giggle. He knew exactly what his father meant. When his mother had been really pissed, she would have the same terrifying expression on her face.

"I really don't know what's there to laugh about, Sam?!" Kate was getting furious. "He could be dead!"

"That you always have to exaggerate! He's fine!" Sam pointed towards his father.

"How do you wanna know?" Kate was now in full fighting mode.

"Really honey, I'm fine," Tony tried to intervene, "And stop talking about me like I'm a four year old!"

"Well you certainly act like one," she accused him.

"Young lady!" Tony stood up, towering over his daughter.

"Oh dad that stopped working a long time ago!" Kate reacted annoyed to her fathers attempt to bully her.

McGee laughed, remembering that he had a similar conversation with his son.

"Oh, I see McGiggle is also here," Tony turned around, facing his friend.

"Wouldn't miss this for the world," McGee grinned, giving Tony a quick hug. "How are you doing?"

"As I said I'm fine. It was nothing. Just a little indisposition. And when my gorgeous children have stopped treating me like an idiot, I would love to head out of here."

"But the doctor said you should at least stay another night!" Kate tried to get through to her father, knowing that it was helpless.

"Nonsense!" Tony exclaimed. He wanted to get home as soon as possible. Knowing that he had already left her alone too long.

"You heard him! He feels fine," Sam was getting annoyed by his overprotective sister. He wanted to make it home before the Play-Offs started.

"Fine! Fine! Do what ever you want. But when he's having another breakdown. You'll take care of him!" she pointed at her brother.

"I won't have another breakdown!" Tony waved his hands in frustration, "I'm fine!" The only thing that would cause him another breakdown, were his children.

Abby shrieked with joy, "Don't they remind you of someone?" She would have bounced up and down, if her old bones would allow her to.

"Yeah sure! Gibbs and Jenny!"

"Oh, Tony!" she shook her head.

--

United they stood in front of Gibbs grave, even Sam and Kate had stopped their ongoing indifferences and fell silent when they reached the man's last resting-place that they always had known as Uncle Gibbs and who had always been like a grandfather to them.

"It was a good idea to come here!" Abby had linked her arms with McGee and Tony.

"Yes, we owe him so much!" McGee nodded.

"I'd wish, we'd had the chance to give back something of it," Tony said thoughtful.

"Oh you have, "Kate said calmly, causing everyone to turn to her, "I never told you that, but I remember Uncle Gibbs saying that you were the family he had believed to have long lost."

"When did he say that?" Sam asked surprised.

"It was on your 16th birthday. I was so angry because you had everyone's attention. You were such a smart ass back then and I was only the little annoying sister. I sat out on the porch, so I hadn't to participate in the worshiping of your brightness. And suddenly Uncle Gibbs sat down beside me. I told him that I'd wished to be somewhere else, far away. And I remember that he laughed at this statement, saying that sometimes he'd wished that too. And then he became suddenly very serious, placing an arm around my shoulder and looking me straight in the eye. And I swear it were tears that shined in his eyes that night. And he said that I should always be grateful for the family I have," she swallowed, recalling that night so many years ago. "And he continued that he had never had believed to have something like a family again, until the four of you had stepped into his life. And that he loves you all as if you were his own children. He had pulled me close, kissing my hair and said: You're very lucky! And then he made me promise never to tell anyone about this, but I guess he'll forgive me now. It took me awhile to understand what he meant. But I do now."

They all looked at her in awe, being totally unaware of this story.

Sam was the first to find his words, "Come here, sis!"

Kate stepped towards him and both united in a intense hug, "You know I love you?" Sam looked down at her.

Kate nodded, "I love you too!"

"And you're not annoying!" Abby placed a hand on Kate's shoulder, smiling at her.

"Well, that's debateable!" Tony grinned, "I'm kidding!


	12. You know my name

_Hey guys, I'm sorry it took me so long to update. But rehearsals are getting more and more intense. I'm suppose to be off-book next weekend. I have no idea how to do that!!! Wah panic!_

_Still I try my best on updating!_

_Enjoy this one so long_

_--_

„So Miss Jackson, what brings you here so far away from your country?" the man sat in front of her, fumbling with her faked passport. "Although I suppose Jackson is not your real name and you're not all together too far away from your country."

Ziva stared at him, her expression unreadable. She had been trained for this and she wouldn't give in. She knew that either way she wouldn't get out of this alive. Whether she would share the wanted information or not these people were going to kill her.

"Oh I see, you decide to play the shy one!" the man said, while getting up from his chair and stepping closer to her. "Well, we will see if we can change that!"

He slapped her hard across the face, but didn't get the expected reaction. Ziva flinched slightly but other than that she didn't looked a bit impressed or intimidated.

"Mossad trained you well, I suppose. But one way or the other we get what we want. Always. Think about it for a while."

The man left the room, leaving her alone. She was tied up to a chair, unable to move her arms or legs. There was only a small opening in the wall through which some light fell into the room. She tried to make out some details. Anything that might help her to escape. But all she found was the dead body of Isaac placed against the wall.

--

"McGee!" Gibbs barked down from the balcony.

"Yes, boss?" McGee nearly tripped over his feet, when he shot up from his seat.

"Did you find her?"

"Not yet, boss! Sorry boss," McGee felt awful. He wished that he had any clue how to find Ziva but he just didn't. All night he had tried to find away, but so far he had no idea what to do.

"Keep looking," Gibbs told him and was about to turn around, when he noticed that someone was missing, "Where's DiNozzo?"

"I don't know boss!" McGee shrugged his shoulders.

"Find him too!" he commanded and disappeared into his office.

"Will do boss," McGee mumbled and picked up the telephone, dialling Tony's number.

"DiNozzo," a gruff male voice was heard on the other end of the line.

"Damn it, Tony! Where are you? Gibbs is already pissed enough!" McGee hissed into the receiver.

"Huh? What time is it?" Tony asked.

"10:15!"

"Shit!" was the last McGee heard, before the line went dead. Satisfied to have solved at least the mystery of Tony's absence he concentrated again on the task at hand. Finding Ziva.

When Tony appeared at the office half an hour later he looked like crab. McGee knew better than to comment on his unshaven face, his messy hair and the shirt he had just worn yesterday. He knew that the news about Ziva had hid him hard. Probably harder than all of them. There has always been a special bond between the two of them, although he doubted that Tony would admit it. McGee watched him falling into his chair and pulling out some aspirin from his drawer.

"You're okay?" McGee asked.

"Do I look like I'm okay?" Tony hissed back.

"No!" McGee answered and decided it was wiser not to press the topic anymore.

"How's Abby?" Tony asked more friendly.

"Not good," McGee sighed, "She cried all night and now she sits down in her lab and refuses to see anyone."

"Not even Gibbs?"

"Not even Gibbs," McGee stated.

"Oh!" was all Tony could reply to that.

They sat in silence for an hour before Gibbs came down from the balcony and shot Tony a pointed look. But to everybody's surprise and most to Gibbs' own he didn't say anything.

Gibbs sat down behind his desk, rummaging through some files that had been placed on his desk. McGee and Tony exchanged an irritated look.

"Don't they need you upstairs?" McGee asked finally.

Gibbs shot them both a look and didn't answer. He just put his head into the files again.

--

Ziva was thirsty, unbelievable thirsty. She had been held captured for three days now. They had given her something to drink yesterday morning and she felt that her strength was fading. Every time she swallowed it felt as if thousands of needles went down her throat. It was hot in her small prison. Her eyes hurt she could feel that they were swollen. The air was kind of poisoned, caused by the dead body of Isaac. Every time she thought about him lying there, she had to fight the tears that dwelled up behind her eyes and the urge to throw up. She needed to be strong. But Isaac had been a good agent. Ambitioned and still full of dreams. She hadn't known him all too well, but still good enough to know that he didn't deserve to lay there on the ground.

She let out a raspy laugh. No one, but these bastards that killed him deserved that kind of treatment.

She thought of Tony again. Something she had done a lot in the last three days. She had thought about all of them a lot sine she had left, but now her thoughts seem to circle only around him. She was asking herself terribly sentimental questions. If he was missing her, like she did miss him? If he was worried about her? If he thought as much about the one night they had spent in each others arms like she did? If he still could smell and feel her, like she could him whenever she closed her eyes. She hated being so girlish.

She had known for a long time that more connected them than friendship and as much she had wanted to explore the possibilities that could have come along with it, as much as she had wished, she also had been afraid. Afraid to destroy what they had. And even that last night in Washington D.C. she still wasn't sure about her feelings for him. Only now, tied up to a chair in some god damned place in nowhere land she realized what all these feelings where about.


	13. Smiles we gave to one another

_Reedville/Virginia  
Chesapeake Bay_

_October 2nd__, 2054_

--

When Tony got out of his car that night he felt exhausted. It had nearly taken him an hour to convince his children as well as Abby and McGee to let him drive home alone. When he now stepped onto the porch he immediately sensed that something was wrong.

He hurried inside and looked for someone from the staff to ask if she was alright. He found her when he entered the salon. She sat in front of one of the windows and was watching the last sunlight of the day dancing across the water.

He joined her quietly and followed her view out onto the lake.

"How have you been?" he finally asked into the silence.

Her eyes met his, an unreadable expression on her face, but she didn't answer.

"I'm sorry that I missed our date yesterday," he apologized.

"Excuse me? What are you talking about? I have no idea who you are!" she said and got up to leave.

In a movement of pure desperation he reached for her arm and stopped her from moving any further.

"It's me, Tony?" he said already knowing how useless this statement was.

She shrugged his hand of and left him standing alone in the dim light of the fire place.

He had to start all over again.

--

A week later he was on his way to the McGee's to celebrate the 7th birthday of Tali. He had bought her one of this new funny hover cushion vehicles. He had absolutely no idea how these things did work. He wondered where the times went when children still had bicycles and scooters. Long time gone, he supposed.

He could already hear his grandchildren's excited voices when he stepped in front of the house door and rung the door bell. He could hear Scott's voice calling Tali to open the door. A few seconds later he looked into a pair of shining eyes.

"It's grandpa," she yelled and then flew into his arms.

"Hey honey-bun," Tony grinned from ear to ear, swirling the little girl through the air, "Happy Birthday, my love."

"Thank you grandpa!" she gave him a peck on the cheek and swung her small arms around his neck.

He sat her back on the ground and found her brother Tim jr. standing behind her.

"Hey Timmy, how are you doing?" he asked and received the next peck and hug as an answer. "I'll take that as good!" he grinned.

"Tony, where have you been? We already thought you got lost," he heard an all too familiar voice coming from inside the house. He followed his grandchildren inside and found Abby sneaking behind the door.

"Abs, I would never miss the birthday of the sweet thing here," he gave Abby a quick kiss on the cheek before he was drawn to the living by the two little monsters.

"Hey dad," Kate got up from the couch and was the first to welcome her father, "You made it!"

"What is it with everyone today?" Tony asked offended, "Did I ever miss one of my grandchildren's birthdays?"

"No, but you're always late," McGee laughed.

Tony shot him and evil stare and then proceeded directly to Lil, "Hey Lil, you should really watch your husband. We don't want him to get lost, do we?" he grinned.

"We certainly don't Tony," she smiled and hugged him but being unable to stop Tony from head-slapping McGee while doing so.

"Some things certainly never change, do they?" Abby stated and sat down beside Lil.

"Kate where's your husband?" Tony asked while pulling a chair close and taking Timmy and Tali, each on one of his knees.

"He's in the kitchen, getting dinner ready!" Kate replied, already knowing where her father would go with this.

"Ah, a true McGee. Knows where he belongs," Tony smirked.

"What do you mean grandpa?" Timmy looked up at him, a big question mark in his face.

"Oh, nothing. I'm just kidding!"

"But that was not funny," Timmy said and caused everyone to laugh.

"Sam and Lisa called this morning, they're having a wonderful time," Kate changed the subject before her father could go on any longer.

"How are the kids?" Lil' asked.

"Apparently the hotel is offering a great children's care program. So they are busy all day and Lisa and Sam actually have some time for each other."

"That's great. They need it," Lil' smiled and padded McGee's knee who smiled brightly back at her.

--

After a wonderful meal and lots of presents for Tali and also some for little Timmy the evening was nearing it's end. Tony sat on the kitchen counter, fumbling with some puzzle pieces that Tali and Timmy couldn't fit in.

He knew immediately that it was McGee who sat down at his sight but he kept staring at the puzzle pieces.

"How are you Tony?" McGee said in the calm, even voice that left no doubt that he wanted a serious answer.

"You know," Tony started without looking at him, holding one of the puzzle pieces up into the light, examining it closely, "It's funny, it feels like a puzzle. Someday it's complete. My life. It all makes sense, all the pieces fit together and than I realize there is a piece missing. And it's not a piece you can easily find, not one of the frame pieces. No," he shook his head, turning the piece in his hand once more, "It's a piece which is the hardest to fit in, the core piece, that makes everything complete," he stopped letting his head hang down.

"You know I'm always here for you," McGee simply said, knowing that there was nothing more he could offer his friend.

Lil and McGee said there goodnights and headed home an hour later, while Tony still sat on the kitchen counter trying to complete the puzzle.

"You should really stay here tonight," Kate looked at her father, a pleading look on her face and much to her surprise he slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I guess your right. It's better if I'll go back tomorrow."

Although she was happy that for once her father seemed to be reasonable, she also knew that this was a sign of the poor condition he was in. He was giving up and she wasn't sure what this would do to him.


	14. Hurt

_Hey guys, here's the next chapter. I know you're all looking for some TIVA moments. I promise they are going to come soon!!_

_--_

_December 15th, 2008  
__Washington D.C._

--

Tony had never been a big fan of Christmas time, but this year he really hated it. He sat alone at the bar of the Rover's Pub gulping down another whiskey. He been here frequently in the last five months. Always coming alone and always leaving alone.

Once he had hooked up with a girl and drove home with her, eager to fight the demons in his head and trying to forget at least for once the pictures of Ziva, which were constantly floating through his mind. But he didn't get far, he had left ten minutes after they had arrived at her apartment, leaving a more than pissed blonde behind. He had ended up in front of her old apartment building, staring up at the window that had used to be hers.

While the others of his team had asked him to come along with them to grab a couple of drinks after work, he had felt no need for their company, as he barely did at all these days. He had excused himself and headed to the Rover's.

The bartender had greeted and placed his usual in front of him, while Tony stared at his reflection in the mirror, like he had that night that felt like an eternity ago, when she had come to his rescue. Somehow he still expected her to walk through the door and to take away the pain, although he knew that it would never happen. All they had been able to find out over the few last month was that Ziva was most likely on an ongoing mission, somewhere in the Near-East. But he knew that something was wrong, he could feel it. She would have find away to let them know that she was okay, if she could.

He had even booked a flight to Israel and it was only Gibbs intense philippic, that he would only get himself killed or even worse, endanger Ziva's life that had stopped him from actually going.

He turned his glass of whiskey in his hand, observing the light that fell through the liquid and danced over his hand. He first didn't notice the woman that sat down at his side and only when she ordered a doubled whiskey he looked up shortly. She was good looking, dark blond hair that fell in tiny curls down on her shoulders, she was dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a white blazer. For a second their eyes met and for a second he had the feeling to look directly into her soul through the deep blue. She looked nice. Not sexy, not hot or anything he usually had searched for in a woman, just nice.

They sat in silence for awhile until she suddenly looked at him, "Bad day?"

"Bad year," he answered. She just nodded and stared back in her glass.

Tony kept looking at her, "And you?"

"Only a bad week," she replied, still looking at her glass, "Why does everything has to go wrong sometimes?"

"I'm certainly not the right one to answer that question," Tony laughed sarcastically.

"That bad?" she cocked one eyebrow, which reminded him instantly of Ziva.

"Worse," he stated.

--

Abby had linked arms with McGee while walking down the pavement. He had offered to walk her home, since he felt no urge to sit home alone in the dark. Gibbs had already left after the first drink, leaving the two of them on their own. So much had changed since the break-up. And they all doubted that it would ever be the same.

"I'm worried about Tony," Abby said quietly.

McGee nodded, "Me too, Abs!"

"He looks like crab. As if he hasn't slept at all in weeks. And he's drinking way too much."

"I know. I tried to talk to him about it, but he didn't even hear me out. He told me that it was none of my business. He was so angry. I have never seen him like this before," McGee sighed.

"It's hard for him," Abby tried to apologize Tony's behavior although she knew that Tony had no right to treat his colleagues like he had over the last months.

"It's hard for all of us, Abby! But we are not running around like a Zombie, stamping on the feelings of others."

"I know, but it's not the same for him, McGee."

"What do you mean?"

"She is special to him," Abby shook her head, McGee could be so blind sometimes.

"She is special to all of us," McGee retorted, feeling somehow hurt.

Abby let out a noise of frustration, "Yes but differently!" she stared at him.

McGee thought for a moment until realisation dawned on his face, "Oh! You sure?"

Abby nodded vehemently, "Of course I'm sure!"

"But he never did anything. I mean I never saw him flirting with her like he did with all the others."

Abby couldn't believe it. Was this man really this stupid? "As I said, she is special to him! I emphasizes here on the special!"

"Ohhh," McGee nodded.

--

When Tony came into work the following Monday he felt somehow better than he had in weeks. He even managed to send McGee a good morning smile, before he sat down at his desk and went through the paperwork from their last case.

McGee wasn't foolish enough to believe that one swallow does make the summer, but he noticed that Tony seemed somehow more relaxed than usual. But Timothy McGee knew better than to comment on this. He looked back on his computer scream and allowed a small smile to play around his lips.

An hour later Gibbs appeared in the bullpen. He had taken the morning off for some private stuff that he didn't told anyone about. Abby had immediately freaked out, thinking he was seriously ill and it had taken him nearly two hours to reassure him that he was not heading for a doctors appointment.

"Good morning, boss," Tony greeted him, which caused Gibbs to stop dead in his tracks. He shot McGee a questioning look and only received a shoulder shrug as an answer.

"Morning, do we have anything?" he asked, trying not to sound too surprised by Tony's improved mood.

"No, everything's quiet so far," McGee answered.

"I'm heading out for coffee. Do you guys want some too?" Tony got up from his chair and shot his colleagues a questioning look.

"Yes, thanks Tony," McGee looked at him with big eyes.

"No, prob! Boss?"

Gibbs nodded, "The usual!"

After Tony had left, Gibbs looked over to McGee, "Did I miss something?"

"I have no idea, he's been in this mood since he arrived this morning," McGee explained.

"Maybe he's finally getting over it," Gibbs mumbled to himself, not loud enough for McGee to hear him.

--

When Tony returned half an hour later, there was nothing left of his good mood. He slammed the coffee cups on the table and disappeared immediately into the restrooms. Gibbs observed the scenery from the balcony and was shaking his head, "So much of getting over it," he mumbled and walked down the stairs.

Tony stood in front of the mirror trying to control the rage that built up inside his stomach and was threatening to explode. He kicked hard against the trash can, leaving an obvious mark of his footprint on it.

Why was this all effecting him still so much? Why wasn't he able to forget? She was gone now for seven month and he still felt exactly how he did when he had woken up the morning she had left.

This morning for the first time since then he felt better, lighter. He had been actually looking forward to work and then he saw the red Mini Cooper that looked so much like Ziva's and it had all come back to haunt him. He didn't know how he should go on like this. He honestly didn't know.

--

When McGee returned from Abby's lab unaware of the current change in Tony's mood he stepped into the minefield totally unprotected. The day didn't end well, when Tony took is rage out on him and McGee knew that night that one swallow indeed didn't make a summer.


	15. The River

Hey lovlies, I'm really sorry that it took me so long to update. But for the first time, it's not my fault. My notebook decided three weeks ago that it wanted to pass away. And I had to get a new one! Since yesterday I have a new one!! Yippie and it's holiday season so I have a couple of days off and hope to make the wait up for you.

Until then I wish you all a Merry Christmas all around the world where ever you may be!!! Take care!! Frohe Weihnachten, Feliz Navidad, Buon Natale, God Jul ....

Yours Britta

---

December 24th, 2008  
Washington D.C.

---

Tony had been to the Rover's four times again since the 15th and somehow he had hoped she would show up again. He didn't even know her name, but somehow he felt that there was something that connected them. He had no reason to believe that she would be there on Christmas Eve. She probably had family and sat in a warm home, a fire place flickering in the background and all her loved ones around her. She had probably long forgotten about him and he would spent the evening all alone. The team had offered him more them once to spent the Christmas days with them. But he felt no urge to spend Christmas either with Abby or McGee and their perfect families. He was better off alone.

So when he stepped through the door into the bar that night. This special night of the year and let his view wander through the room, he almost missed her sitting in the dark corner at the end of the bar. Her hair pulled up into a ponytail and, her fingernails painted red. She wore a skirt and high heels, which gave her quite a different appearance than the last time. She looked exhausted he thought, when he signaled the bar tender to give him the usual and approached her.

„I didn't expected to see you here tonight," he said looking down at her.

Her head flicked up and for the shortest second there was the hint of a smile on her face, „Me -either, " she answered.

„Mind if I sit down? " Tony asked.

She shook her head, looking at him with an unreadable expression on her face.

„What? " Tony laughed.

„This might sound silly and I probably shouldn't be telling you this, "she paused.

„But? " Tony smiled at her. Not one of his DiNozzo killer smiles, but one of his honest ones that he kept for special occasions.

„I was hoping to find you here," she refused to look at him, when she said it and therefore mist Tony's reaction. Something was telling him, that he should for once try to be honest.

„Well, I was hoping to see you, too!" he said.

She raised her head again and met his eyes, studying him to see if he was making fun of her or if he meant it.

„By the way, I'm Tony," he said, offering her his hand.

She kept studying him a bit longer before she decided that she could really trust this man in front of her and took the offered hand.

„Elizabeth. It's nice to meet you, Tony!"

„Nice to meet you, too! Lil'."

---

Gibbs sat at his desk, doing some paperwork. He was in no rush to leave on Christmas Eve knowing that there was no one waiting for him at home. It was easier to spend the holidays working than sitting at home and thinking. Waiting for an absolution that would never come.

His view fell on Ziva's empty desk. He had convinced the new director that his team did not need a replacement for Ziva, which meant extra work for all the others on the team but he knew that they all, including him, were not ready for someone new. They had lost Kate and he recalled how hard it had been for the others to let Ziva in. Much harder than it had been for him, because he knew he could trust her, since that fatal night in his basement. They had been lucky to get Ziva after Kate's death, someone so completely different that there was no use of comparing them.

He knew that the day would come where he had to choose someone to take Ziva's place. But he couldn't do it just yet. The wounds needed to heal first.

---

It was nearing midnight when Tony glanced at his watch. Time had flown by, while talking to Lil'. He had been so entangled in their conversation that he even forgot to order another drink.

"I guess it's time for me to leave," Elizabeth sighed and got up to get her coat. Tony watched her in silence until he got up and paid for their drinks. He really did not want to part from her just yet.

When he opened the door for her, the bartender shouted at them, "You need to kiss her man," and pointed upwards. Tony glanced up and saw the mistletoe dangling over their heads and quickly glanced back into her eyes to find some kind of answer there, what to do.

"You really don't have to do that," she said, feeling his uneasiness.

"Well, I guess we should not break this old tradition," he smiled and leant down, placing the softest kiss on her lips.

A bit dazed she looked up to him afterwards and stumbled, "No I guess we shouldn't."

Somehow Tony convinced her to walk her home. Side by side they walked down the streets and watched the snow that had started to fall, slowly dance to the ground. Neither spoke a word all the time, unsure what to say and unsure about the other ones thoughts.

"Here it is," Elizabeth suddenly broke the silence and stopped in front of a small townhouse.

"Nice," Tony said and looked at the lovely decorated house.

"It was my grandmother," she explained and then ran out of words.

"Well I guess this is goodbye," Tony stated.

"Yeah," Elizabeth answered and added quickly, "I hope the next year will be a better one for you."

"I'm starting to believe that," Tony smiled and took a step closer to her and then to his own surprise he gave her a kiss on the cheek and stepped back again, "May I call you?"

She nodded and was about to turn around, when she thought twice and closed the distance between them once more, placing a kiss on his lips that was ever so soft like his had been in the bar.

"Merry Christmas, Tony!" and with that she disappeared into the house.

Tony stood there for a view more minutes, looking up into the sky whispering, "Merry Christmas to you!"


	16. For the Way we were

Hej guys, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!! Here's the next chapter, I hope you'll like it, since I guess you waited long enough for this to happen.

_Reedville/Virginia  
Chesapeake Bay_

_October 4th, 2054_

_--_

When Tony got out of the taxi two days later, he almost wanted to leave again. He didn't know if he still had the strength to fight for them. The last two days he had realized how hard the last year had been for him. But he couldn't let her down. He had promised her and he would be damned if he would break this one.

He headed straight for his room, he decided that what he needed the most right now was sleep. He had needed to be fit when he wanted to start all over again with her. He placed his suitcase on the table and sat down on his bed staring against the wall for a while, thinking nothing. He practically ordered his mind to stop racing and to calm down for a while. Not to think about the last year not to think about the if's, the when's, the but's. Finally he sighed and kicked off his shoes, resting his head on the pillow and reaching for the picture on the nightstand, their wedding pictures. He remembered every detail as if it had been yesterday. He had never felt happier, more proud and more sincere than in this moment where she had said yes. Yes to him and yes to their family and to their future. She had given him more than he had ever dreamt of, more than he had ever expected from life and because of all that. Because of all of these happy memories he had to fight and mustn't give up.

--

When Tony awoke six hours later, he felt much better. All he needed to feel totally on top again was something to eat and so he quickly changed into some comfortable clothes and headed for the kitchen. Ethel, who was responsible for their physical well-being and head of the kitchen, was very fond of him. All he had to do was to flash her one of his famous DiNozzo smiles and he could get anything he wanted, to eat. He was stepping down the stairs when he heard something familiar coming from the salon. He thought he was dreaming, because it had been a while since he had heard that song the last time. He stepped into the doorway and saw her sitting on the piano, her view fixed on the keyboard as she played the song, she had promised to play for him, when she had promised to come back to him and then he heard her sing the words he had waited so long to hear.

_Fare thee well  
My own true love  
Farewell for a while  
I'm going away  
But I'll be back  
Though I go 10,000 miles _

_10,000 miles  
My own true love  
10,000 miles or more  
The rocks may melt  
And the seas may burn  
If I should not return _

_Oh don't you see  
That lonesome dove  
Sitting on an ivy tree  
She's weeping for  
Her own true love  
As I shall weep for mine _

_Oh come ye back  
My own true love  
And stay a while with me  
If I had a friend  
All on this earth  
You've been a friend to me_

He felt the tears running down his cheeks, he almost had given up to believe that she would come back to him. When the last chord ended he closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her shoulder.

"Ziva?" he asked softly, sounding still unsure if she really could remember. He felt her hand on his as she turned around slowly and smiled.

"Tony!" she whispered, not sure what had happened, but feeling as if she had woken up from a very long dream.

He pulled her up into the long overdue hug and sighed when he felt her arms rapping around his waist and pulling him close.

"How long?" she asked when she pulled back and wiped the tears from his cheeks.

He knew what she meant, "Six months," he said and kissed her forehead.

"That's a long time," she said, "How long until…?"

"I don't know," he answered honestly, "A couple of hours? A day?"

She sighed and pulled him close again, "Then we should not waste a minute," she said, "How are the kids and our grandchildren?"

"They're all doing fantastic," he smiled and kissed her gently on the lips.

"Tell them that I love and miss them," she knew that she probably wouldn't have the time to tell them in person.

"I will, Sweetcheeks. But now I want you all to myself. Would you do me the honor and go for a walk with me?" he flashed her the smile he treasured just for her.

"How could I possibly deny?" she laughed and linked arms with him.

It felt as if the last six months hadn't existed, as if no day had passed since they had walked the banks of the lake the last time. They laughed and kissed as if they were teenagers in love and not an old couple that had been married for years. Tony filled her in on what had happened during her absence, how they called it. And it never failed to amaze him how clear she was in these hours and that she could recall every detail of their old life and it was now that he knew that it all had been worth the afford that if she would even return to him just for an hour. It still was worth it. And that he would go the way again and again until the day that it all would end.


	17. Travellin' Soldier

Thanks for the reviews although I really had no attention to make someone cry. Here's the next one.

--

_Somewhere in the Near-East  
December 2008_

--

Ziva had lost track of time after a month, all she knew was that it had gotten colder and she had the feeling that it must be late December, but she couldn't be sure. All she knew that she was still alive whatever the reason might be for this, she didn't know, but she was still alive, though she was in poor condition. They gave her to eat and to drink from time to time and she had been allowed to move in her prison after three weeks of her captivity. They had eventually stopped to ask her questions which had made her suspicious. They left her alone most of the time, but made sure that she never forgot that she was a prisoner.

She stood in the middle of the room and stared against the wall. It was hard to focus the mind under these conditions but she needed to keep it clear. It was probably Christmas time in Washington D.C. right now if her assumption about late December was right. She wondered if they were thinking about her back home. Maybe they had already given up on her; she thought and kicked the wall in frustration. To her surprise the door opened and the man she had learned to be the right hand of Acham Archid stepped into the dark.

"Miss David," he said, which made her look up in shock, "You thought we didn't know who you are?" he laughed, "Why do you think you're still alive?"

He stepped at her side and tied her hands behind her back.

"What's happening?" she asked.

"We are going to take a little trip. Daddy wants to see you!" he grinned and pushed her through the door and up the stairs. When she stepped into the sunlight for the first time in months she had to close her eyes, only slowly her eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight and allowed her to take in her environment. She seemed to be in a rural area all she saw where mountains and hills and poor vegetation. They shoved her towards two jeeps that were parked near the house that had been her prison for the last months. She wondered what was going to happen. She knew that her father would never give into a deal with terrorists, whether she was his daughter or not would make no difference. But these people seemed to believe that they could really benefit from the fact that she was the daughter of the deputy director of Mossad.

Ziva knew better than to believe that. She knew that she had to escape now, if she wanted to have a chance to survive, but she had to wait for the right moment. She climbed into the car as ordered and sat down in the backseat. The jeep had no roof, which increased her chances of a quick escape when the time was right. The young man who sat down in the driver's seat followed the second jeep up the hill in front of them and Ziva knew that she had to make her move now; when they were back in the open there would be nowhere to hide for her. Here in the rocky and rural vegetation she had the biggest chances to hide until it would get dark. The cars slowed down when they reached a very small path between the mountains. The driver's attention was fully on the road now and even the man who sat at her side, the gun always aimed at her had his attention on the road giving the driver instructions from the back. She had to be quick and in one swift movement she had jumped out of the car and disappeared behind a big rock. A second later she heard gun shots and the men calling out instructions. She started to run for her life she had to bring some distance between herself and her followers, but she wasn't as strong as she had been a couple of months ago and quickly had to rest. She crawled under a big rock and hoped that she was safe there for awhile.

She awoke a couple of hours later and stared into the darkness of the night. She sighed in relief no one had found her hideout. Now she had to get rid of her bonds it was too dangerous to climb the rocky area in the night with her hand tied to her back. She searched for a sharp stone and after a while the rope did give in and she could free her hands. She was rubbing her wrist and tried to examine the damage the ropes had made. Satisfied she noticed that her wrist didn't look too bad. Slowly she crawled out from under the rock and sat silently in the dark, listening. Everything was quiet and so she started to move further down the hill. Too late she heard the male voices behind her.

"There she is," she heard someone shout and the next second she heard the gunfire and the bullets that flew by her head. She let herself fall onto the ground and crawled further.

"We need her alive," she heard someone else call out.

They came closer and Ziva had no other chance than to get up and start running again. Too late she saw the acclivity. She lost her footing and fell.


	18. Happy New Year

I know this is just a bit early, but hey it's fiction!

Enjoy!

--

Washington D.C.  
December 31st, 2008

--

He did not call her. He had tried it, more than once but had put the receiver down again every time. He felt guilty in some way, although he didn't know for what. What was there to feel guilty about? But as a matter of fact he knew exactly what he felt guilty about. He was giving up on her. It was nothing he wanted to do, it just happened. She had been gone for 8 months and they hadn't heard anything from her. He sat in his apartment and stared at the picture of the two of them that McGee had once taken on a crime scene. She was laughing and reaching up to pull his cap down. He was wondering what Ziva would do if she was in his position. He could almost hear her laugh and say:

"_Typical Tony! Once you find a woman that you really like, a one that could mean more to you, you're too much of a coward to give it a try!"_

"I'm not a coward!" he protested into the empty room and suddenly was very sure about what to do.

--

"McGee!" Abby called out for the fifth time.

"I'm coming," she heard him shout from the bathroom.

"That's what you said fifteen minutes ago, McGee," she shouted back and fell down on McGee's couch again, "Tony's waiting for us!"

"Normally we wait for him! It will do him good if he for once has to wait for us," McGee said stepping out of the bathroom.

"Wow, you look great," Abby exclaimed and looked McGee up and down.

"Well, I thought I could use some new stuff," McGee smiled and turned around to give Abby a better look.

"You know handsome, I won't comment on that one. But can we please leave now?" Abby linked arms with him.

"We certainly can," McGee grinned and placed his hand over Abby's while he guided her to the door.

Twenty minutes later they pulled into a parking lot in front of Tony's apartment building.

"I'll go and get him," Abby said and jumped out of the car. She returned five minutes later, a puzzled look on her face, "He's either not opening up or he's not home," she said while getting back into the car.

"That's strange," McGee said and got out his cell phone to call him, "Not answering," he stated and placed the phone back into his pocket.

"Maybe he already left for the party, because we kept him waiting," Abby said and shot McGee a pointed look.

"I guess it's best we get there and find out," McGee suggested and ignored Abby's pouting face.

--

Elizabeth was rummaging through her closet in search of the perfect dress for the night. She would not admit it, but she was more than disappointed that Tony hadn't called her. She really had believed that there had been something special between them. But obviously she had been mistaken, she slammed one of the drawers shut and let out a frustrating grunt. She really hated that it affected her so much.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she at first didn't hear the door bell ring. Only when she heard someone knock at her door fiercely she ran down the stairs to see who it was.

"Tony?!" she exclaimed surprised.

"Hey Lil'" he said almost shyly.

"What do you want?" she asked and leaned against the doorframe, making it very clear that she was not going to invite him in.

"I, ehm," he was trying to find the right words, "I'm sorry I didn't call!" he finally said and looked into her eyes.

"Then why didn't you?" she asked and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"I guess," he hesitated.

"What Tony? If you have something to say then say it. It's getting cold."

Tony looked at the ground, '_Come on Tony_!' he tried to encourage himself, '_Don't be a coward!"_

"Well I guess in this case, it's goodbye Tony," she was about to shut the door, but Tony stopped her.

"Wait!" he took a step forward, "I guess I was afraid," there he had said it, he sighed relieved.

"Afraid?" Elizabeth asked and took a step forward to meet him.

"Yes I know, that sounds stupid," he said with a foolish grin on his face.

"No," she shook her head, "No that doesn't sound stupid at all to me."

They stood in silence for a while, before Lil' looked him straight into the eyes, "And now you're not afraid anymore?"

"To be honest this scares the hell out of me," Tony laughed and was surprise to see her join in, "What?" he asked.

"Me too!" she smiled and opened the door for him, "Do you want to come in?"

"I'd loved to!" he nodded.

--

"Do you see him?" Abby shouted to get McGee's attention over the loud music in the club.

"No!" he shook his head

"I try to call him again," Abby said and headed for the exit. Once she stepped into the chilly December air, she got out her cell phone and was surprised to find a text message from Tony.

She looked up at McGee and read, "Sorry can't spend New Year's Eve with you guys. Need somewhere else to be. Have fun. Tony."

"What's that about?" McGee frowned.

"I have no idea," Abby shrugged.

--

Tony stood with Elizabeth in the snow and looked up into the sky that was illuminated by thousands of fireworks.

"Happy New Year," he whispered and turned towards her.

"Happy New Year," she smiled, while Tony leant down to kiss her.


	19. Can it be

_Reedville/Virginia  
Chesapeake Bay_

_October 5th, 2054_

_--_

Tony smiled when he awoke the next morning, his arm securely placed around his precious Ziva. He studied her face closely, her long dark lashes slowly starting to move, when the early morning sun touched her face. Slowly she opened her eyes and the brightest smile spread out on her face and Tony felt the relief that fled through his veins and made him feel so alive. She was still there.

"Good morning, sweetcheeks," he smiled and placed a soft kiss on the top of her nose.

"Good morning," she smiled back, "We should really be ashamed," she added with a chuckle.

"Why?" he frowned.

"We acted almost like teenagers the last night. I think we are getting a little bit too old for that."

"Nah," he shook his head, "We're never getting too old for that. And I can't remember doing anything illegal."

They stayed in each other's arms a little bit longer until Tony finally got up from the couch they had spent the night on, because they had fallen asleep on it, and looked down at his crumbled clothes.

"I better go and change or people might get the wrong impression," he grinned, "Don't go away. I'll be right back."

"I will be waiting right here," she smiled.

--

When Tony returned Ziva had changed as well and awaited him sitting in the same spot as promised.

"I really want to call them," she said and got up to meet him, taking his hands in his.

He nodded and went to pick up the telephone dialing first Kate's number and waited for her to pick up the phone.

"Kate McGee," he heard her say and then talking to someone else, "Put that down! Now!"

"Kate honey," Tony said to get her attention.

"Dad! Sorry, but Tim was, Tim jr. pit that down! How are you doing?" she asked remembering the constitution her father was in when he had left her house just yesterday.

"Oh I'm doing more than wonderful," he laughed into the receiver and winked at Ziva who was standing across from him, "As a matter of fact I haven't felt this good for months."

"Dad, I suggest you have gone totally insane," Kate said and didn't know if she should laugh or cry.

"No, my dear daughter I'm totally fine, but I have someone here who would like to talk to you," before Kate could say anything more she heard her father pass the receiver on to someone else.

"Hello?" Kate asked.

"Hello sweetheart," she heard a familiar voice but wasn't sure if she could trust her ears.

"Mom?" she almost whispered.

"You used to call me that and many other things when you didn't agree with my decisions," Ziva laughed. "Kate, are you still there?"

"Yes mom," she heard her daughter say almost bursting into tears.

"Don't cry angel! This is a good day," she tried to reassure her daughter, while the tears ran down her face as well.

They talked for over an hour and even Tim and Tali got the chance to talk to their grandmother, "I love you, always. Never forget that," Ziva said before she ended the call.

"I love you too, mom!" the line went dead and Ziva sat down, smiling at Tony.

"We have a great daughter and great grandchildren," she looked up and met Tony's eyes.

"We do," he nodded and dialed the next number to get Sam on the line.

--

Three hours later Ziva had talked to Sam and the children to Abby, McGee and to Lil' and was exhausted, but happy.

"I guess what you need now is something to eat," Tony said knowingly and helped her up to guide her down for lunch.

They ate in silence just enjoying the precious time together, both being aware of the fact that it could be over any minute. The nurses watched them with bright smiles, they all had admired the patience with which Tony DiNozzo had waited for his wife to come back to him. And they were more than glad that it all had turned out so good for him in the end. At least for a little while.

--

Later that day they were out at the lake again, both wrapped up in warm coats and strolling down the little path at the lake side hand in hand.

"Do you regret anything?" she suddenly asked and stopped.

"What do you mean?" he asked surprise.

"I mean in general. Is there anything you would have done differently in life?"

He thought for a moment before he answered her question, "If I could make something differently, I would have never let you leave for Israel back then."

She smiled, "That's a good answer."

"What about you?" he looked at her.

"I would have never left to Israel back then!"

He kissed her and started to walk again. He strolled a bit in front of her and turned around when he noticed that she wasn't following him.

"Hey sweetcheeks, are you coming?"

He looked at her and the expression on her face told him more than a thousand words. She had left him again.


	20. 2nd Chance

_Thanks for the reviews, story alerts, fav. adds and so on and sorry that it again took me some time to update. But this one just didn't wanted to turn out right so I had to rewrite it five times. I hope it was worth the effort. ;-) Have a great day all together._

_---  
_

_Washington D.C.  
January 26th, 2009_

_--_

Tony awoke in the early morning hours and felt her arm over his chest, he smiled. The last month had been incredible. Slowly he slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her and walked into the kitchen to get himself some coffee. While waiting for the coffee machine to do its job his view wandered to the pictures on the wall. There was one of the whole team, one with Abby and one with Kate and then there was his favorite, the one of him and Ziva. He studied it carefully as he had done many times before, memorizing her smile and the twinkle in her eyes. He wondered if she would be proud of him. He was having a real grown-up relationship, without holding back, he was all-in.

He smiled when he felt her arms slip around him from behind and pulling him close.

"You're up early," she whispered and placed her cheek on his back.

"Couldn't sleep," he said and turned around to place a soft kiss on the top of her nose. He had been honest with her, more honest than he had ever been before, even in comparison with Ziva or maybe especially in comparison with Ziva.

He had told her about Ziva but he had kept the last secret there was for himself. No one knew about the night he had spent with her and no one knew how he really felt about her. And no one needed to know, he was happy, for the first time since she had left he was happy.

He had told Elizabeth that Ziva had been his partner and that they all missed her and he remembered how she had picked up the photo and said: She looks nice.

He still thought a lot about her, but he also knew that there was no use in wanting something that most likely wouldn't come true.

"I'm a bit nervous, I have to admit," she mumbled into his chest and Tony took a step back to look at her surprised.

"What about?" he asked.

"What if your colleagues don't like me?" she said.

Tony couldn't help but laugh, "You sound like a High school girl now!"

"Well I certainly feel like one," she pouted and pulled away, letting herself fall onto the couch.

"They will love you!" Tony tried to assure her.

"How do you wanna know?" she retorted, refusing to look at him.

"Well, first of all they are my colleagues and I know them and second who wouldn't like you?" he said and put on one of his best smile.

"Oh that was cheesy Anthony DiNozzo," she laughed and threw a pillow into his direction.

--

_Somewhere in the Near-East  
Same time_

Ziva awoke slowly from what felt like a long life dream carefully she tried to open her eyes and blinked into the bright sunlight that fled through one of the windows she could make out. She had no idea where she was or what had happened. She tried to put the pieces together, but all she remembered where fragments of her attempt to flee.

She turned her head to take in her surroundings and realized that she was in a hospital room.

"I see you're awake," she heard someone say in Arabic from the other side of the room. She looked into the direction and saw a man sitting in the corner watching her.

"Who are you?" she asked and was shocked by her own voice that was barely a whisper.

"That is not important now. What's important is that you have to play along if you want to stay alive; he said while getting up and moving to her side but before he could explain anymore the door opened and a nurse stepped in.

"Oh she woke up," she beamed in delight and looked at the man that stood at Ziva's bed and then back to Ziva, "Your husband spent day and night at your side. He was really worried!"

Ziva decided that it was best not to say anything but to just nod in approval to what the woman had said. It took another fifteen minutes until the nurse left them alone and Ziva could get some answers she longed to know.

"Where am I?" Ziva asked.

"Ramallah Central Hospital," the man answered and immediately saw the shocked expression on her face. This was enemy's territory for a Mossad agent.

"Don't worry, they don't know who you are," he reached into his pocket and pulled out her Star of David necklace, "I will get you out of here as soon as they allow me to take you home, but then you're on your own. I will not endanger my family any more than I already did. Do you understand that?"

Ziva nodded again, although she was not sure if she had understood everything correctly, since her head was aching terribly.

"I'm Hamid Yafur and you're my wife Ramia. You had a car accident that's what I told them. Try to say as less as you can when they talk to you. I think it will take another week until they let you out of here, do you think you can make it?" he wasn't friendly when he told her all that and she could tell that he wasn't completely convinced about helping her but some force must be driving him.

"Why?" she asked him and he took his time before he answered her.

"You remind me of someone I once knew," he stated without looking at her, "I'll be back tomorrow!" and with that he was gone.

Ziva closed her eyes feeling more exhausted than ever and thought about what had just happened. She had escaped and was yet again a prisoner of some kind and how could she know that she could trust this man?

--

_Washington D.C.  
Later that day_

"I told you that they would love you," Tony whispered while he placed her drink in front of her.

"I like them too," Elizabeth smiled and took a sip from her drink.

Abby sat in the far corner of the bar and watched how Tony and his new girlfriend giggled together.

"She's nice, isn't she?" McGee asked when he sat down beside her.

"Yes she is," Abby answered absent minded.

"But?" McGee asked knowing that there was more.

"I don't know. It's just that I have the feeling that he's forgetting about Ziva."

McGee took her hand and forced her to look at him, "We all will never forget about Ziva."

"You know she still might come back," Abby said hopefully.

"Yeah, she might," McGee said although he more than doubted it.


	21. How you ever gonna know

_I know I'm torturing you, but I'll promise it won't be much longer._

_--_

_Washington D.C.  
NCIS Headquarters  
February 2__nd__, 2009_

_--_

McGee had wondered when Abby would approach him to talk about Tony's new girlfriend and he had waited for a week until she finally stepped in front of his desk with this special expression on her face she always had when she was on a mission.

"So," she said as if she had nothing on her mind at all and hopped onto his desk.

"So what?" McGee looked up at her, which meant to look basically at her back while Abby stared at Ziva's empty desk.

"She really seemed to be nice," Abby said and picked up one of the paper clips that lay on McGee's desk.

"Who?" McGee asked, knowing very well who she was talking about.

"Elizabeth!" Abby gave him a pointed look.

"Yes, very nice. Totally different from all the others, not that I got know any of them, but still I assume," he stopped not knowing what he actually wanted to say.

"There was Jeanne," Abby mentioned.

"Yepp, but we know how that ended," McGee answered.

"It seems to be serious," Abby carefully approached what this was all really about, her eyes never leaving Ziva's old desk

"It really seems that way. Why? Is there a problem?" McGee frowned and followed Abby's view.

"I just thought, I mean do you think that she will make him happy?" Abby asked, meaning actually if she could make him as happy as she thought Ziva could have made him.

"Well I suppose … ."

"I suppose you should just ask him or stop talking about it," Gibbs barked from behind, which caused Abby to jump off McGee's desk and to spin around.

"Gibbs! Don't do that," she shrieked and slapped him on the arm, "Geez you scared the hell out of me!"

Gibbs laughed, "Good!" and sat down behind his desk.

"Good morning, my gorgeous colleagues," Tony greeted in a cheerful mood while stepping out of the elevator and then stopped to look at his team members, "Did I miss something?"

"No, no!" Abby quickly answered and turned on her heels, "I just need to go back down. There's something I need to check real quick!"

Tony looked after her, "What was that about?"

"Don't ask me," McGee shook his head and started to type on his keyboard.

"Crazy chick," Tony grinned.

--

Hamid came everyday to check on her, he was polite but never friendly, nevertheless she started to trust him, maybe just because she had no other choice, but today he did not come alone. She looked up in surprise when she saw the young boy that held the hand of Hamid.

"This is my son, Jamal," Hamid explained.

Ziva sat up in bed and smiled at the big brown eyed boy.

"He wanted to see you again," Hamid continued and shoved the boy at Ziva's side.

"Again?" Ziva looked confused.

"He found you in the mountains," Hamid answered the question.

"You found me?" Ziva looked at the boy again, who nodded eagerly.

"I told my father that he had to come to help you, because you look like mommy," he said with a proud expression on his face. But Ziva frowned at the mentioning of Jamal's mother. She looked at Hamid who shook his head with a sad expression in his eyes, telling her silently that he wouldn't explain the situation, at least not now.

"You're coming home with us," Jamal suddenly exclaimed and seemed to be more than happy about this fact.

"But I thought," she looked again at Hamid.

"They can't keep you here any longer, they need the bed, but they also said that you need some more rest. So we'll take you home with us," Hamid did not look happy saying that, "It's helpful that your Arabic is so good, otherwise I wouldn't agree.

Ziva nodded, not knowing what to think about these new circumstances.

--

When Tony came home that night, Elizabeth awaited him curiously.

"You sounded so mysterious on the phone! Is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, everything is fine," Tony smiled and sat down on the couch signaling Elizabeth to sit down at his side.

"Now you're making me nervous," she said but sat down beside him nevertheless.

"Believe me I'm nervous too," Tony said while he tried to find the right words.

When Tony had said what he wanted to say Elizabeth looked at him in shock, "Are you serious?" she asked.

"Yes, totally serious," he nodded.

--

When Ziva stepped out into the sunlight for the first time in weeks she felt as if she was born again. Hamid help her into his car and had one good look around. He still thought that he was totally crazy that he helped the Israeli woman. Allah only knew what they would do to him, if someone found out, who she really was.

An hour later they arrived at a small house outside of Ramallah. He would give her a week after that she would have to leave; it was already too dangerous for him and his son.

Later that day, when Jamal was already sleeping peacefully in his bed Ziva sat outside the house in the late evening sun. She felt better than she had in weeks and was confident that she could leave in less than a week. She didn't want to endanger Hamid and Jamal anymore than she had already did.

Her thoughts drifted to Tony, like they have done so many times in the last months. She wondered what he was doing. If he was okay, if he was still on that ship he had been sent to and if he thought as much about her as she did think about him. He was the reason that she was still alive that she hadn't give up.

"It's getting cold," Hamid suddenly said appearing behind her and handing her a blanket.

"Thank you," Ziva said and was surprised when he sat down at her side, "And I mean not only for the blanket. I mean for everything."

Hamid only nodded and they were silent for quite a while until Hamid started to talk, "You actually look a lot like her."

"Your wife?" Ziva asked.

Again he nodded and then continued, "She died two years ago. I guess your people would call it collateral damage."

Ziva inhaled sharply understanding what he meant, "And still you helped me. An Israeli woman."

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"I don't believe in an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth, or how you wanna call it. That won't bring her back. We all have made mistakes, but someone has to have the courage to take a different path when we want to end this conflict one day."

Ziva had listened carefully to what he had to say and had to admit that he had a point, "Maybe if we had met under different circumstances we could have become friends," she said looking at him.

"Yes, maybe," he answered and reached into his pocket, "I think you can put this back on," he placed her Star of David in her hand, before he got up and went back into the house.


	22. That it was all so simple then

_Okay I know some, or maybe all of you hate me for this Elizabeth woman. But I have to say you should better get used to her, she's going to stick around for a long, long time! ;-) Oh I'm so evil!!! I try to get another chapter up today. Maybe then you can already get an idea where this is heading to. Enjoy this one so long!_

_--  
_

_Washington D.C._

_October __15th, 2054_

_--_

"How much longer do you want to teach?" Tony asked while sipping his coffee out of a cup that looked like a skull. Some things would just never change.

"Until they throw me out or I can't see these noisy students anymore," Abby grinned.

"Ah come on as if they could ever be noisy enough for you," Tony laughed.

"So where have you been all morning long, while I was on the Campus?" Abby wanted to know.

"Oh here and there. I did some shopping and then went to the Navy Yard, just to see if anything has changed."

"It did a lot, didn't it?" Abby stated.

"Yes, not to compare with what we had back in the good old days," he laughed noticing what he had just said, "If our days were the good old ones, then what are Gibbs' and Franks days?"

"Antiquity," Abby snorted.

"Good that he can't hear us, otherwise we would, ouch! What was that?" Tony touched the back of his head, where he could swear someone had just slap him.

"You're kidding me, right?" Abby still grinned.

"Actually I don't know," Tony responded and had one last good look around, "Maybe I have reached the age, were my minds starts playing tricks on me."

"That's possibly it," Abby patted his arm and leant back in her chair, "So tell me about the Navy Yard. I haven't been there for months and everything seems to change daily these days."

"Well there was this young Agent showing me around, Trevor. A bit too full of himself for my taste," Tony missed the pointed look that Abby shot him, "And the way he obviously undressed his co-worker with his eyes! Disgusting, although I have to admit that she was really good looking. And he knew just everything, at least that's what he thought," Tony chatted on, but was stopped when Abby started to snort, "What?"

"And you're sure you weren't showed around by a younger version of yourself?" she asked still giggling.

"What?! I never was like that!" he protested.

"You were totally like that! That's you, you are talking about!" Abby laughed when she saw the disapproving look on Tony's face. "Well you turned out to be just fine," she quickly added.

"Now did I?" Tony said and put on a satisfied grin, "I'd thought so!"

--

"Sam calm down, he's visiting aunt Abs. I'm sure he told you," Kate spoke into the receiver trying to reassure her brother, "Well maybe you just didn't listen. That's something you tend to do, ask your wife!" she laughed when she heard him sigh in frustration mumbling something like: 'Not you, too!'

"Anyway," she continued, "He'll be back on Friday. Either you wait or just try to call him at Abs' home, I'm sure you'll manage," she grinned and put the receiver down without another word, knowing that her brother hated that.

"Your brother?" Scott asked from the living room and received a nod from his wife, while she tried to get some ketchup out of her top that Tali had accidentally spilled on her during lunch.

"He did forget that Dad went to Washington to see aunt Abs," she rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes, I remember," Scott quickly said, although he himself had no idea that Tony had left for Washington D.C. but did see no use in telling his wife so.

"You did forget it too," he heard before a wet towel landed on the top of his head.

"Well…," he shrugged, "Why did he go anyway? He hasn't left your mothers side for more than a day for the last year."

"I think he just realized that if wants to continue to be there for her, he has to allow himself to rest from time to time. Plus he hasn't been to D.C. for nearly three years," Kate said and flopped down on the couch beside her husband, who placed his arm around her to pull her close.

"You know I really admire your father for what he does," Scott said.

"Yes?"

"To be so patient for months and just to get these rare hours where she's clear again as a repayment, I don't know if I could do it."

"What do you mean?" Kate sat up and stared at her husband, "If this would happen to me, you would just put me away?"

"No, no," Scott almost shrieked when he realized what he had just said, "That's not what I mean!"

"Then what do you mean?"

"I wanted to say that I love you so much, that I'm not sure if I would have the strength to see you like that everyday. I just don't know," he said honestly, "Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes I guess. I don't know either," she admitted,

"Your parents are very special," Scott added before he pulled his wife close again.

"I know," Kate smiled and closed her eyes, happy childhood memories playing out before her, "I remember one evening when Dad came home way too late from work and mom had waited all evening long, because she had made his favourite cake. And when he did finally showed up she was so mad at him. Sam and I were sitting on the tops of the stairs because we actually enjoyed seeing our parents fight, because it always ended in a big mess. So she stood in the doorway of the living room, arms crossed in front of her chest, her death glare pointed towards him and dad knew he was as good as dead," Kate laughed when she remembered the frightened look on her fathers face.

"And there was a lot of screaming and accusing and then the cake flew into dad's face just like that. She had just picked it up from the dinner table and had thrown it right into his face!"

"No way," Scott exclaimed.

"Oh she did and then she started laughing. She started laughing so hard that tears were running down her face and dad just stood there, doing nothing until he reached for his face very slowly to wipe the cream away and we could see it in his eyes, he was up for revenge. He put all the cream he could save from his face into his right hand, all the way watching mom laugh on the other side of the room and then he attacked her. Following her through the whole house, making us squeal in delight, when he had finally trapped her in the bedroom. In the end they both were covered in cream from head to toe and laughing. And Sam and I stood in front of them laughing as well until the two of them looked at each other and then they were on our tails until we all were covered in cream."

Scott laughed he could so imagine this happening, "How old were you?"

"Five I guess," she smirked and got up.

"Hey? Where are you going?" Scott demanded to know.

She didn't answer and so he got up to follow her, when he saw her standing in the door way a mischievous grin on her face it was already to late, the cream that was meant to be tomorrows dessert hit him full in the face. He heard her laugh and knew exactly what he had to do.

--

"Do you sometimes regret that you never got married and had your own family?" Tony asked all of a sudden.

"Me? No, why?" Abby looked at him surprised.

"I just thought," he trailed of.

"You see, I was never some one to stick to the norms. I love my life just the way it is. And just because I have no husband and no children of my own does not mean that I do not have a family. I have you guys and your kids and grandkids and I love them and you more than anything in the world. You are my family I don't need any other. You don't have to worry about me," she smiled.

"I'm not worried about you," he denied.

"You are Tony, I can see it when you're lying," she grinned.

"Cannot!" he pouted.

"Sure I can, but believe me! My life is just how I wanted it to be. Picture perfect!"


	23. Home again

_So here's the promised chapter. She's not home yet, but will be soon._

_--_

_Borderline between Palestinian region and Israel  
February 10__th__, 2009_

_--_

Ziva stepped out of the bus that had brought her from Ramallah to the borderline. She had left Hamid and Jamal the day before and Hamid had brought her back to Ramallah from there on she was on her own. It had been harder to leave the two than she had expected, after their talk out on the bench Hamid's attitude had changed. He had been more open and much more friendly towards her and she actually enjoyed his company and Jamal was such a charming boy that she just couldn't help but fall in love with him. She really hoped that she would get the chance to see the two again, they had saved her life, something she would never forget.

Hamid had packed a bag for her with something to eat and to drink and gave her the money for the bus ticket, although she was the enemy. Life could be surprising.

Slowly she approached the check point, observing her environment carefully, when she had about twenty meters left, one of the Israeli guards stepped forward and pointed at her.

"Stop!" he called out, "Who are you?" he asked in Arabic.

Ziva did as told and stayed put, "I'm Israeli!" she shouted in Hebrew.

"Passport," the guard demanded.

Ziva shook her head, "I don't have one!" she said truthfully.

The guard laughed, "Then how do you suppose we believe that you're Israeli?"

Ziva sighed everything had gone so well and now her own people were keeping her away from her country and freedom.

"My name is Ziva David," she tried because she had no other idea what to do and was surprised when the guard actually reacted to that.

"Ziva David?" he asked to make sure that he did understand her correctly.

Ziva nodded, "Yes!"

A second guard appeared handing the first guard a piece of paper and then nodded into Ziva's direction. After a couple of minutes they signaled her to come closer. She stood in front of them and wondered what was on that piece of paper.

"You're with Mossad?" the second guard now asked.

Ziva nodded again, "Yes I've been on a mission with Isaac Friedman."

"What happened to Officer Friedman?" the first guard wanted to know.

"He's dead," she swallowed.

"If you could wait here for a minute I'm going to have to check this with Tel Aviv," the second officer said and disappeared in the guard house. They waited in silence for his return.

--

"Engaged?" Abby shrieked and turned towards McGee who leant against one of the counters in Abby's lab.

"That's what he said," McGee nodded.

"No, no!!" Abby exclaimed, "That can't be true!"

McGee laughed, "I couldn't believe it myself, but he was so serious about it, it must be true!"

"That's totally wrong," Abby protested and stormed past McGee and out of her lab.

"Abby what are you doing?" he called after her.

"Have to get some things straight," she barked and disappeared into the elevator.

Tony sat behind his desk humming and looked up with a big grin when he saw Abby storming into the bullpen.

"I take it, McGossip has told you the big news," he beamed, "What do you say?"

"Are you crazy? Are you out of your mind? What is this all about?" Abby barked at him, taking him by full surprise.

"What?" Tony stutter.

"How long do you know her? A month? You haven't had one serious relationship since you were born and now after a month you need to merry that woman?" Abby was on a mission now and no one would stop her.

Tony stood up from his chair and glared at Abby, he had never been angry with her before but now he was, "She does have a name and I did have a serious relationship before, thank you very much Abby!"

"Jeanne doesn't count, Tony! That whole thing was a lie!"

"Since when are you an expert when it comes to relationships?" he retorted, "You have no idea what Jeanne meant to me!"

"Maybe I don't, but that doesn't mean that you have to merry the next best," she shouted at him, causing everyone in the bullpen to look at them.

"She's just not the next best and if you can't be happy for me I suppose it's best you stay out of my way," he hissed and started to walk past her.

"What about Ziva?" she suddenly asked and caused him to stop.

He stood for a minute at her side, thoughts running through his head, she had asked the one question he had no answer to.

"What does Ziva has to do with this?" he asked quietly, but didn't look at Abby.

"You know damn well what she has to do with it," Abby shouted again and was about to go on when Gibbs barked down from the balcony.

"Stop it Abby!"

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, "But …!"

"It's enough, Abby!" Gibbs said leaving no room for arguments.

--

When Ziva jumped out of the helicopter the first one she saw was Michael, who smiled brightly at her.

"Welcome home," he said before he hugged her tightly, "We really thought we had lost you."

She smiled back at him, he had welcomed her home, but it didn't feel like home for her. But she was closer to home that she had been for the last couple of months, "Good to be back," she simply said.

"Your father wants to see you right away, so we better get going," Michael instructed her and let the way.

Ziva let her view wander over the skyline of Tel Aviv, hoping that she would somehow find a way to get back to Washington D.C. .


	24. There goes my baby

_Alright the last one for today. We're getting there. I promise._

_--  
_

_Washington D.C.  
February 13th, 2009_

Ziva looked into the mirror on the airport restroom. She still was pale and skinny, the last months had truly left their marks but that didn't matter anymore. She was finally home. The last days had been crazy, she had to answer millions of questions had to see various doctors and didn't had one minute to herself at all. Only two days ago she had had the chance to talk to her father about her wish to return to NCIS and to her surprise he had agreed.

He had told her that Gibbs had called him more than once to get her back, she learned that her old team members had been reunited in August and that since then they had wanted her back. Ziva thought she would explode of happiness and did something she hadn't done since she was a child, she hugged her father.

She had booked her plane tickets and her father had promised to inform NCIS about her return. She had thought about calling Tony but decided against it, she had done so long without him she could survive another day, she wanted to see his face when she stood before him. Never had she wasted a thought that he could have moved on.

--

"You're in this grumpy mood for days," Elizabeth said while watching Tony rummage through one of the drawers.

"It's nothing! I just had a fight with Abby," he sighed.

"Oh, why?" she asked.

"It was nothing! Don't worry," he tried to smile at her.

"What about tomorrow?" she looked at him.

"What about tomorrow?" he stared back, "We are going to celebrate our engagement and that's it," he leant down and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

He was on his way into the bedroom when he heard the knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Elizabeth said and got up to open the door.

--

Ziva had waited for fifteen minutes in front of his house before she finally found the courage to get out of her rental car and knocked at his door. But she hadn't expected what she found behind it. She looked into the blue eyes of a blonde woman that opened the door to Tony's apartment.

"Yes?" the woman looked at her surprised.

"I …," Ziva was too shocked to get a word out, her view fell to the hand of that woman before her and she notice the diamond ring on her finger, she was about to feel relieved when she heard Tony calling from somewhere in the apartment.

"Who is it honey?"

That was all it took for Ziva to run, she turned on her heels and stormed down the stairs ignoring the woman that surprisingly called out her name.

"Who was that?" Tony asked when he saw the shocked expression on his fiancés face.

"I think it was Ziva!" Elizabeth answered and watched the multiply emotions that washed over Tony's face and before she could stop him he was out of the door.

He ran out onto the street to see the red taillights of Ziva's car disappear around the next corner.

"Ziva!" he shouted, knowing that she would never hear him. His hand ran through his hair in desperation when his mobile phone rang.

"DiNozzo," he barked into the phone.

"DiNozzo, where are you?" Gibbs barked back.

"At home," he said still staring at the corner where Ziva had just disappeared.

"Ziva is coming back," Gibbs said.

"I know. I mean what?"

"Are you okay?" Gibbs asked sounding slightly worried.

"I just saw her," Tony stuttered.

"Who?"

"Ziva," Tony exclaimed. "Wait how do you know that she's back?"

"Her father just called to tell me that he sent her back as we demanded and that she would come in first thing tomorrow morning. So where is she now?"

"I don't know she drove off," Tony said.

"DiNozzo, what did you do?" Gibbs demanded to know.

"I did nothing. I didn't even get the chance to talk to her. Elizabeth opened the door and then she ran off."

Gibbs just grunted in response, "Well get here. You're late!"

--

Ziva sat in her car, tears streaming down her face. How could she have been so stupid. How could she have even thought that he felt the same way about her like she felt about him. It had meant nothing to him, that night all these months ago. He was till the same old Tony.

But what was she to do now? She couldn't go back to Israel. What would her father think of that. No she had to go into work tomorrow and pretend that nothing had happened. She just didn't have a choice.


	25. In Another's eyes

_I should be in bed for hours since I have to get up in less than five but I had to write this. But you'll have excuse my grammer etc. I didn't check this one again so there'll be probably more mistakes than usual. Forgive me. I'll check it again tomorrow. I'm sure you'll like this one. ;-)  
_

_--  
_

_Washington D.C.  
February14th, 2009 Valentine's Day_

_--_

When Ziva stepped into the bullpen the next morning it seemed as if time had stood still. Nothing had changed. Everything looked exactly like it had when she had left so long ago, even her desk seemed to be untouched. She sighed and smiled, it had been the right decision to stay. No matter how hard it would be to face Tony every day, this was worth it.

"Ziva?" McGee couldn't believe that she was back. Gibbs had told them yesterday but still he thought it was just his mind playing tricks on him.

She turned around and smiled at him, how she had missed him, he was like a brother to her, "McGee," she laughed and flew into his arms.

"I can't believe that you're really back. You have to tell us everything. What happened?" he wanted to know everything at once.

"I'll tell you someday, but not now," she said and looked at him, "You look good! Changed!"

"The one who really changed is Tony," McGee replied, "He's engaged!"

Ziva tried not to show what she felt. So this woman at his door really had been his fiancé, she forced herself to smile although it almost broke her heart, "Now that's a surprise," she got out before Abby rescued her from talking about this topic any longer.

"Ziva!" Abby shrieked when she stepped out the elevator and buried her friend in a bear hug, "I'll never let you go again. Never ever! If I have to chain myself to you, so be it, but I'll never let you go again!"

Ziva laughed trying to catch her breath, how long she had waited for this, "I'm not planning to go anywhere, Abby!" she placed a kiss on Abby's cheek and drew her close again. There was so much more waiting here for her than Tony.

She blinked away the tears and saw Gibbs coming down the stairs to meet her. He stood in front of her what felt like an eternity just watching her until he finally pulled her close, "It was about time that you moved your ass back here," he smiled one of his rare true smiles and only let go of her when he saw Abby and McGee staring at someone behind him.

"Ziva?" they heard him say when he stared at her as if she was just a dream and then most to Ziva's surprise he shoved Gibbs aside and stood right in front of her, studying her with an intensity that was nearly unbareabley.

"Tony," was all she got, because she had to fight the tears that were threatening to fall down.

Very carefully as if he was afraid to break her he pulled her close and held on to her, "I've missed you! So much," he swallowed and pulled away staring into her eyes once more.

"I've missed you too," she said although she didn't wanted to. They stayed like this for what felt like an eternity until Gibbs brought them back to reality.

"We still got work to do," he stated and sat down behind his desk.

--

Tony watched Ziva the whole day. She looked pale and almost skinny, he wondered what had happened. She was staying in a hotel until she could move into her apartment next week, which was actually the next to her old one. He had wanted to invite her to his apartment and knew that it was impossible. He didn't even know how to invite her to his engagement party. All he knew was that she was still as beautiful as she had been.

--

"So Tony's engaged?" Ziva looked at Abby who shifted uncomfortable from one foot to the other.

"Yes," she replied.

"Do you know her?"

"Yes!"

"Is she nice?" Ziva continued her questioning.

"Yes!"

"Is there something else you can say?" she looked at Abby, wondering why she was acting so strange.

"They're having their engagement party tonight," Abby finally said.

"Oh," was Ziva's reply.

"You should come," Abby suggested.

"He didn't even invite me," Ziva shook her head.

"But I know he wants you to be there! He told me," Abby lied.

"He did?" Ziva frowned.

"Yes, but there's so much going on he just didn't find the right time to ask you," Abby continued.

Ziva still wasn't convinced but finally gave in when Abby offered to pick her up at 0800pm.

When she went back to the bullpen, she noticed that Tony had already left. She made sure that no one was watching and stepped behind his desk in search of a picture of his fiancé. She hadn't concentrated on her looks when she had opened the door yesterday. But the only picture she found on his desk was one of herself and him.

"It's his favorite," Gibbs said, suddenly standing behind her.

"You think?" she frowned at him.

"I know," Gibbs smiled.

--

Ziva felt more uneasy than she had ever felt before she had to face the woman she basically had run from. She had made a total fool of herself the other day, but there was no turning back now. Tony and Elizabeth were already approaching her.

"So you're the famous Ziva," Elizabeth smiled and shook Ziva's hand, "Tony told me so much about you."

Ziva smiled politely and studied the other woman, she didn't looked like one of Tony's bimbos at all, which made the whole thing even worth and she actually seemed to be nice. Gladly she let Abby pull her away and sat down on the other side of the bar. This was not a big engagement party like she had expected it, more a nice gathering with friends and colleagues.

Tony couldn't take his eyes off of her. Ziva wore the same green dress she had worn all this years ago on their undercover mission and she just looked gorgeous.

"Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked.

"What?" he snapped back to reality.

"Hey, you're okay?" she looked worried.

"Sure, sure," he smiled but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Why don't you go and ask Ziva to dance with you? It's been such a long time since you two saw each other?" she suggested and Tony looked at her surprised.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, why not, " she smiled and kissed him on the cheek disappearing to talk to some of her friends.

Slowly Tony crossed the room his view always fixed on Ziva and so he didn't recognized how McGee stepped towards the jukebox to choose the next song.

"May I have this dance?" Tony asked and smiled at Ziva.

"I'm not sure," she answered.

"Come on," his smiled became kind of begging.

She couldn't resist, she knew that it was dangerous, but she just had to do it. She placed her hand in his and let him walk her to the dance floor when the song McGee had chose started to play.

_In another's eyes  
I'm someone who  
Loves her enough  
To walk away from you  
I'd never cheat  
And I would never lie  
In another's eyes  
_

'God, how he hated cheesy country songs,' Tony thought but had to listen nevertheless.

_In another's eyes  
I can do no wrong  
And he believes in me  
And his faith is strong  
I'd never fall  
Or even compromise  
In another's eyes_

Ziva felt how they moved closer to each other with every note, how she got more and more lost in his arms. How long she had waited for this day.

_In another's eyes  
I'm afraid that I can't see  
This picture perfect portrait  
That they paint of me  
They don't realize  
And I pray they never do  
'Cause every time I look  
I'm seein' you  
In another's eyes_

Tony's mind was racing, this felt so right and yet it was so wrong

_In another's eyes  
Starin' back at me  
I see a sinkin' soul  
Tryin' desperately  
To turn the tide  
Before it dies  
In another's eyes_

The closeness of the two didn't go unnoticed by Elizabeth who stood on the side watching the two of them how they slowly swayed to the music, looking absolutely perfect together.

_And what they don't see  
Is killing me  
It's blessing and a curse  
That love is blind  
'Cause in another's eyes  
I'm afraid that I can't see  
This picture perfect portrait  
That they paint of me  
And they don't realize  
And I pray to God they never do  
'Cause every time I look  
I'm seein' you  
In another's eyes_

Ziva just couldn't stand it any longer, she broke free from Tony's grasp and ran. She heard him call her name, but didn't stop until she sat in a taxi that brought her back to her hotel. How could she have been so stupid? It was hi engagement party after all.

Tony looked after her not knowing what to do, he couldn't just follow her. He couldn't do that to Elizabeth.

"We need to talk," he heard her say and looked into her shimmering eyes. The rest of the guest just pretended that nothing had happened, while Tony and Elizabeth stepped into the cold.

"You love her," Elizabeth stated simply and he knew that there was no use in denying it, so he nodded.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, feeling lousy. "I really meant it when I asked you to marry me," he said and hoped she would believe him.

"I know," she answered to his surprise, "But I guess just because you forgot, that your heart already belongs to someone else."

He looked at her, "I'm sorry," he said again, "I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"I guess it's better now than later. I cannot make you happy and that means you can't me happy either."

Again he could just nod.

"Good luck Tony and don't mess it up! She seems to be special," she placed her engagement ring in his hand and turned to leave.

"Lil'," he called after her and she stopped but didn't turn around, "Thank you!"

She smiled and was gone and Tony knew exactly what to do.


	26. Or has time rewritten every line?

_Thanks for all the great reviews for the last chapters. I guess that's what you wanted, having Elizabeth out of the picture. But it's not going to be a farewell forever. *g*_

_--_

_Hughesville  
17th, 2054_

_--_

Tony and McGee sat in front of a flickering fireplace enjoying a bottle of a 2008 Scotch. Tony had decided to pay his old friend a visit on his way back home from Washington and had surprised him. McGee had been more than pleased to see his friend, he worried about Tony more than he would admit and it was good to see him in such a good mood.

"So how was your visit at Abby's?" McGee asked while staring into his glass, watching the liquor dance in the firelight.

"Very nice," Tony sighed, "I think she will go on teaching at that University until she stops breathing," he laughed.

"That would certainly fit her!" McGee agreed and grinned. "She always was one of a kind and I can imagine that students love her. Think of it a nearly 80 year old Goth being your teacher."

"I would have loved that! But it's nice to see that she does something she really loves," Tony added. "How are Brian and Casey by the way?"

"Great!" McGee smiled, "Casey got engaged to a Spanish guy who's working as an artist in Madrid!"

"No way?!" Tony exclaimed, "I thought she would never get married. I figured out she was coming more after Abby."

McGee smirked, "Frankly? Me too. Good old aunt Abs had a big influence on her. But she's coming to visit next months and is bringing him a long."

Tony nodded, "And what do you think?"

"About the engagement?" McGee asked and received another nod for an answer. "Well I don't know that guy, but if she thinks that he's the right one, she has my blessing. As long as she's happy, I'm happy too, even if this means she's going to stay in Spain forever."

"Could be worse, I guess," Tony shrugged, "And Brian?"

"Making money. Last weeks he's been in Dubai and this week he's in Shanghai. I don't know when I saw him the last time. But he calls and emails us frequently so I guess we can be happy," he smirked.

They sat in silence for a while, both lost in their thoughts when the door to the living room opened.

"I'm heading to bed, guys. Don't stay up too long," Lil' grinned and placed a soft kiss on McGee's cheek. "Good to have you here Tony," she smiled and let her hand rest on his shoulder for a moment.

"Thank you. It's good to be here as well," he squeezed her hand slightly before she left.

"You're a lucky man, McGee," he grinned and nodded his head into the direction McGee's wife had just disappeared.

"I know, we both are very blessed in that department, aren't we?" he smiled and held out his glass to Tony.

"We certainly are," Tony clinked his glass with McGee's, "To our gorgeous wives!"

"To our gorgeous wives," McGee joined in.

--

Two days later Tony arrived back in Reedsville with new energy and new spirit. Although he had hated to leave her alone he knew that he had to do it. It had been wonderful to spent some time with his friends and to think about some different things for once. Now he was ready to win her back once more, even if he had to start all over again and even if it would take a year for her to remember, he would do it.

With light steps he entered the lobby and headed for his room before he went in search of her. He changed and made his way back into the salon, where he saw her sitting on one of the couches and slowly approached her.

"May I sit down?" he asked politely and waited for her to nod before he actually did so, "I'm Anthony DiNozzo, by the way," he said and held out his hand to her.

"Nice to meet you," she said and looked back into her book.

"I would like to tell you a story, if you don't mind," he asked carefully and received an odd look from her. "Oh it's a nice one, you will like it. I promise and if not you can always ask me to stop."

She thought for a moment until she finally nodded in approval. Tony smiled, step one was completed.

"Well it all started in 2005 when she joined our team at NCIS," he started to tell her their own story hoping that at some point she would remember.


	27. Someone like you

_Oh I hope you'll like this one!!_

_--_

_Washington D.C.  
February 14th, 2009_

_--_

Tony nearly jumped at the woman behind the front desk of Ziva's hotel, "Ziva David's room," he got out between catching his breath.

"Number 602," the woman answered still a bit shocked.

Tony started for the elevators when the woman called after him, "She not in her room, Sir!"

"What?" Tony turned on his heels and stared at the woman.

"Her key is still here," she pointed at the board behind her, "She hasn't returned yet."

"Damn it," Tony swore and hit the counter of the front desk with his fists, which earned him another shocked look from the woman behind it. "Sorry!" he held his hands up in an apologetic gesture.

Slowly he retreated from the lobby of the hotel and stepped into the cold February night. It was freezing and he wondered when it was going to start to snow. He looked left and right and noticed the small park that lay across the street and since he did not plan on going home without talking to her, he decided that he could sit down on one of the benches until she showed up.

He did not recognize the figure at first that sat on the last bench, back turned towards him only when the lights of a passing car lit the park he saw the green dress that showed out under the coat that she was wearing.

"Ziva?" he asked carefully and was met with her big brown eyes that had been crying.

"What are you doing here?" she asked and sniffed.

"We need to talk," he simply stated and sat down beside her.

"I don't see what there's to talk about. I made a total fool out of myself and ruined you engagement party," she said trying to fight back the tears.

"No," he just said.

"You should be there at your fiancé side and not be running after me, because I can't control my emotions," she went on, still refusing to look at him.

"She's not my fiancé anymore," he said hoping that this would stop her, but was proved wrong.

"See what I mean, now she's upset with you because I ...,"

"Ziva, that's not what happened," he reached for her shoulder and turned her around so that she had to face him.

"She knew that I could never be happy with her and she deserves better than a husband who doesn't love her the way you should love the woman you want to marry."

"But you asked her to marry you!" Ziva said looking down at her hands.

"Because I forgot that my heart already belonged to someone else," he smiled using the words Elizabeth had used just before.

"Who?" she asked and for the first time glanced at him, before her eyes rested on her hands again.

"You!" he said and watched how her eyes grew big.

"Why did you ask her to marry you then?" Ziva asked confused.

Tony sighed, that was not easy to explain, "She was there when I needed someone. I had no idea if I would ever see you again and I was afraid to let another chance slip by. Believe me, I'm not proud about this. I hurt her and you. I never wanted to do that!"

Ziva nodded, "I think I understand."

"Good," he said relieved. "Then let me ask you a question. Why did you leave without a word after that night?"

She looked at him not knowing how to answer that one, she wasn't sure herself anymore, "I guess I was afraid. I had no idea what this night meant to you."

"What?! Did you think that was just a one-night-stand for me?" he had to admit he was a bit shocked about that.

"I don't know," she answered helpless. "You never acted on any of my attempts to take things to another level!"

Tony knew she was right, "Yes, because I was stupid!"

"So how was I to know what this night meant to you? And you were drunk," she tried to defend herself although she didn't know why.

"Okay, then let me clarify this. This night we spent together, it meant it everything to me. I know this is not something you would expect me to say, but I've changed while you were gone. I missed you so much. So much! I'm not willing to let this, our chance slip by. I know what I want now. I want you. And not just for one night. I'm in it. 100 percent. I want all of it. And I want it with you," he finished and gazed into her eyes, putting all the feelings he had for her into his eyes.

"Do you mean it?" she asked, staring back at him.

Was she kidding him? He had just disbosom himself to her and she was really questioning him? He had never been this open or honest with anyone in his life before and she did not believe him?

He was about to say something when he realized that her face was only inches away from his. He swallowed what he wanted to say and got lost in her eyes.

"All these months I have dreamt of this," she whispered. "You were what kept me fighting to come back home!"

"What happened in Israel?" he asked softly, but she shook her head.

"Not now. I'll tell you someday, but not now," she said taking his hand in hers. They sat in silence, holding each other's hands, looking into each other's eyes. Still searching for a hint that could show them that the other might have doubts.

"You really changed," Ziva finally broke the silence.

"Hard to believe I know," Tony grinned.

"But not impossible," she smiled.

"Would you care to spend another night with me?" Tony smirked.

Ziva laughed and nod her head in approval.

"Under one condition," he added.

Ziva frowned.

"I have to insist, you'll stay for breakfast," he grinned. "What do you say?"

"I would love to," she beamed and closed her eyes when his hands cupped her face and pulled her close until their lips met in a long awaited kiss.


	28. Makin' Whoopee

_Hey everybody. I know this is rather short, but I'm so busy with the Musical, which is going great by the way, that I really had no time at all to come up with more. The musical will end on the 31st and then I'm going to New York. But after that I'll promise to update frequently! Thanks for your understanding!_

--

_Tony's Apartment  
15th February, 2009_

_--_

Tony awoke slowly and felt her head on his shoulder while her arm was crossed over his chest, her hair slightly tickling him. He sighed this was better than he had expected. They had spent the night in each other's arms, although nothing really had happened, besides some kissing and touching. They had only talked and enjoyed each other's company until she had fallen asleep and he had carried her into his bedroom. Now his arm was securely placed around her waist, making sure that she wouldn't disappear like she had all these months ago.

He felt her head move slightly until she finally looked up to meet his eyes and smiled brightly.

"Good morning my hairy butt," she grinned and kissed the top of his nose.

"Morning Sweetcheeks," he grinned back and in one swift movement turned them around, so that he was now on top of her.

"Wow," she gasped in surprise, "Where did you hide all that yesterday night?"

"I had to make sure that you would really be here for breakfast," he smirked.

"Speaking of breakfast, you promised me one," she cocked one eyebrow.

"Oh and I plan on serving you a breakfast you'll never forget," he lowered himself down on her, capturing her lips with his, "I'm your breakfast!"

He heard her make a noise that sounded like an approval and was proved right when he felt her hand tucking at his waistband.

He let his hands wander under the 'I love NY' shirt that he had given her last night to change into something more comfortable and felt her respond eagerly to his touch.

She was skinnier than she had been when he had touched her the last time and he still was bit worried about her condition his fingers followed softly the trail of a small scar on her hips and he wondered what really had happened in the last months. She had promise to tell him everything once she had settled back into her old life, but right now she just wanted to live in the moment, no worries and no regrets. She had waited way too long for this moment.

--

An hour later she slowly rose from his embrace and started to get up.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked his eyes still closed.

She smiled at him, "I just want to take a shower!" she rolled her eyes when she found him suddenly staring at her.

But only when the warm water fell down on her body she felt his arms reaching around her waist and pulling her close.

"You took you're time," she whispered, eyes closed.

Tony didn't answer, she felt his head resting on her shoulder. A gesture that told her more than a thousand words. He had been very open to her last night, but she was claver enough not to believe that Tony would turn into a overly romantic guy now and she didn't needed him to say what he felt. She could read him like a book. He acted in a way she had never seen him act before and that was proof enough to her, that he meant what he had said.

After another while he let go of her, turning her around to face him, "I think we should tell Gibbs."

Ziva frowned, "Are you sure?"

He nodded, "Yes, I want to clarify this," he took her hand, pressing it against his lips.

"What if he disapproves?" Ziva wasn't all together sure, that telling Gibbs about their relationship was a good idea. There was still rule no. 12.

"I don't care," Tony simply stated. "But I want him to know. I don't want to sneak around, always being afraid that he might surprise us, while we're sharing a special moment. That's what is called, right?"

Ziva laughed, "Tony! You know that we can never ever make out in the elevator, yes?"

"Dammit!" Tony swore.


	29. If we had the chance

I know! I know! And I'm sooo sorry for making you wait so long. But works has been more than crazy the last weeks, well months. But I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and hope to write more often again. I'm really sorry that my return has to be with such a short and dramatic chapter. I promise to do better the next time.

--

_Washington D.C._

_2054_

_--_

In early November Tony stepped out into the chilly evening air and waved for a cab. He was impatient. He had received a call from Abby yesterday and was more than worried. She hadn't been very specific, but he could sense that something was wrong. Abby had never used the words, "I need you, please come!" before. He was aware of the fact that she would have normally called McGee, but since Tim and Lil' were on a cruise he was the next in line.

She had felt guilty for calling him, he heard it in her voice. She knew that he didn't like to leave Ziva. That was what made him worry even more. He had gotten onto the first train to Washington D.C. staring out the window the whole journey trying to figure out was could be the reason for Abby's call. His mind drifted off to Ziva for awhile. There had been no change at all since he had started to tell her their story. More than ever he feared that this time he had really lost her forever that she wouldn't find a way out of this cage she was living in. She was staring at the bars in front of her, but she couldn't see the world behind it. Like the panther in the poem he recalled so often.

He jumped out of the cab and hurried to Abby's front door, knocking forcefully until she finally opened. He gasped in shock when he saw her. Her hair hanging loose and wildly around her shoulders, she was wearing no make-up and looked as if she hadn't slept in weeks. Her eyes were red and her whole composure told him more than a thousand words that something must be terribly wrong.

She stepped aside to let him in and quietly closed the door behind him. He knew that they had all gotten old, but today Abby looked even ten years older. He placed his suitcase on the ground and slipped out of his coat, not bothering to hang it on the wardrobe. He followed Abby in silence into the living room, knowing that it was no use to ask her what was wrong, she would tell him, when she was ready. He sat down in one of the arm chairs and studied her face again, seeing that she was fighting back the tears. He moved at her side placing his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, allowing her to let the tears fall. He hadn't seen her cry in years. The last time he remembered was at Gibbs funeral, although he was sure that she had shed more than one tear over Ziva's condition.

Ten minutes later Abby calmed down and sat up straight to face him. He took her hands in his, running small circles with his thumb on her palms and waited for her to start.

"It's cancer," she finally stated.

"Oh my God," Tony got out. "How bad?"

"Not helpless, but bad. I have to undergo chemo immediately," she continued. Sounding surprisingly calm.

Tony nodded, not being able to say something.

"The chances are four to six," she added quietly.

"The chances of what?" Tony looked at her.

"Surviving. I guess that's more than a lot of people have," she laughed bitterly.

"You're not a lot of people Abby. You're going to make it. We're going to make it," he emphasized his statement. "Do you want me to call McGee?"

"No, not yet. Let them enjoy their trip. There's time when they'll be back."

"When does chemo start?" he asked, still holding her hands.

"The day after tomorrow," she sighed and looked at him, "I'll have to ask you a favor. Will you come with me for the first day? I know you hate being apart from Ziva, but I could need a friend."

"Abs, of course! You have been always there for me and Ziva. She would kick my ass if I wasn't staying with you."

Abby smiled in relieve, "Okay there's more," Tony shot her a questioning look, "I wanna go out. Tomorrow. Like in old times."

"Are you sure? I mean aren't we too old for that?" Tony grinned.

"Please! The next month are going to be tough. I need to remember something good. Something crazy. And I think two seventy-years old out on the town is crazy enough."

"I'm eighty-two," Tony protested.

"Not at heart!" Abby smirked.


	30. Days like this

Yeahuu, two in a row. I'm a bit proud of myself. Hope you'll enjoy this. Thanks for waiting for me to get back on track!

--

_Great Falls, Virginia_

_August 15th, 2010_

--

Tony sat on his new porch overlooking the neat little garden that laid out in front of him. He sighed, being more than satisfied with his work. He had taken the last two days off from work to finish the last things on their new home, before tonight, they would give a party for their friends to celebrate the move into their house. He took a long sip from his cold beer, wondering how life could have become so great.

--

He recalled the Monday after Ziva's and his reunion. They had come into work together and had agreed to tell Gibbs what was going on, but before they could even say 'Good Morning' Gibbs had barked down from the balcony.

"DiNozzo, David. I want to see you in MTAC, now!"

They had exchanged a nervous glance when they stepped up the stairs to meet their destiny. Gibbs stared at on of the computer screens ignoring them for a whole five minutes until he finally turned around to face them.

"What have I told you about rule No. 12?" he hissed.

"Never to date a co-worker," Tony answered immediately as if he was a school boy.

"Right!" Gibbs commented, "And what is your motive to break this rule?" he asked glaring at his two agents in front of him.

"Things have changed," Tony stuttered.

"Obviously! Yesterday you were going to marry someone else and now you're holding hands with Ziva. Something must have changed. What I want to know is what!" he insisted.

Ziva and Tony looked down at their joint hands. They hadn't notice that they had been holding hands ever since they had walked into MTAC. Their eyes met in an helpless attempt to find the right words to explain Gibbs what was going on. When finally Tony decided to go for the most simplest.

"Love," he nearly whispered and looked at Ziva to emphasize his words.

"Care to explain?" Gibbs demanded.

Tony looked now straight at Gibbs, with new won confidence he said what was right, "We are in love with each other."

They did not understand what Gibbs grumbled for the next few minutes and they were clever enough not to say anything until he spoke to them again.

"If your relationship ever interferes with your work, you two will have a big problem. And I don't mean the normal kind of problem Tony gets himself into all of the time. I mean the real big kind of problem. Do I make myself clear?"

Ziva and Tony nodded simultaneously.

"I can't hear you!" Gibbs barked.

"Yes, totally clear," they responded.

"Good! Then go and tell the others," he commanded and saw them nearly run out of MTAC.

Gibbs smirked. Good to know he still had his powers.

--

Tony laughed at the memory. Of course their relationship had interfered with work more than once. He recalled endless fights over nothing in the beginning. With both of them not being used having a real relationship, problems were a daily occurrence. Gibbs had barked and threatened them but he never actually did something. And after a while Ziva and Tony had become quite a good team. Though she had stayed true to her word and they never had had sex in the elevator. He grimaced when he recalled the day he almost had succeeded in seducing her, but McGee had inferred. But he had become a patient man, he could wait. His time would come and then there would be no escape for Miss David.

He was disturbed in his fantasy when he felt her arms gliding down his chest from behind.

"Hey you're done," Ziva acknowledged while having a good look around on her new porch.

"Sure, I promised. Didn't I?" Tony stated puffing his chest out like a proud little school boy who had just won the first prize in a science project.

"Good boy," Ziva laughed and patted his head affectionately and was about to turn when Tony got hold of her waist and brought her down to sit on his lab.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked while trailing kisses down her neck.

Ziva took in a sharp breath, he just knew too damn well how to distract her.

"Getting dinner ready for our guests," she got out in between some sighs. Her hands starting to crawl by own will under his shirt.

"We've got plenty of time," Tony stated and pulled her closer so that his lips could touch hers.

"Actually McGee wants to pop in early to introduce us to his girlfriend," Ziva replied and pushed herself off Tony.

Tony cocked one eyebrow, "McGee has a girlfriend?"

"Apparently and he was very eager about introducing us. I don't know, he acted strange all day."

"It is strange that he has a girlfriend," Tony laughed and tried to pull Ziva back down, but she was to quick for his grasp and disappeared into the kitchen.

"You should really get a shower before they show up, honey._ I_ certainly will," she called out and grinned when she heard him jump up from his chair.

--

An hour later Ziva stood in the kitchen preparing salad while Tony was out in the garden fumbling with the barbeque grill. Ziva watched him in amusement, when he jumped back in shock trying to avoid to get hit by the darting flame that shot into the general direction of his head. She adored his sometimes childish behaviour. It made him look boyish and innocent when on the other hand he could be the biggest macho she had ever met. He caught side of her watching him and flashed her his irresistible smile, which never failed to make her weak in the knees and sent butterflies flying through her stomach. She was sometimes impressed herself how well the two of them had managed to sort things out. And there was no place in the world she would rather be than here with him. And everything has gotten even more perfect when she had been assigned as a fully NCIS agent four months ago. No more Officer David. And she could stop fearing that she had to go back to Mossad ever again.

That was when Tony had surprised her with this house. And she had immediately agreed to move in with him under the condition that they bought this house together. And today was the big day that they would finally move in. Tonight was the first night they would spent together in their bedroom. Not his or hers but theirs. Ziva's thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of the door bell, she leant out of the kitchen window, calling for Tony before she made her way to open the front door. She had to admit she wasn't prepared for the sight in front of her.


	31. The way you look tonight

Three in a row. Yippie and I think this is one of the longest! Thanks for the great reviews. It's so great to see that you like it!! Thanks for reading!

--

_Great Falls, Virginia  
August 15th, 2010_

--

"So McGee tell us who you …," that was as far as Tony got, before he spotted the woman standing next to McGee and stopped dead in his tracks. "Now that's a surprise!"

"I thought so," the woman smiled shyly and looked from Ziva to Tony.

Ziva had seen her only once in her life, but most certainly she would never forget the face of the woman she kind of stole Tony from. She tried to make a brave face, feeling more awkward than she had ever before.

"Elizabeth, Tim, please come in," Ziva finally got out and stepped aside so that their guest could step into the living room. She shot Tony a look, silently asking him what this was all about, but he just shrugged and led McGee and Elizabeth out onto the porch. Ziva busied herself in the kitchen, she needed to sort this out for herself before she could join the others. Why was she here? The answer to this was obvious, she was McGee's mysterious new girl friend, which could be a coincidence or not. Tony had seen Elizabeth about two times after the night of their engagement party and he had made her believe that Elizabeth had no hard feelings against him or her. She had believed him or more wanted to believe him, but she wasn't so sure about it anymore. She never had felt insecure when it came to Tony and other women. Sure he still was an object of desire for many women but he never had given her a reason to doubt or distrust him. He was hers, but with Elizabeth suddenly back in the picture she felt uneasy. She knew that there had been something special between them, maybe not as special as what she had with him now, but definitely something that differed her from the other women in Tony's life.

--

"So how come?" Tony asked still a bit shocked and gestured in between Elizabeth and McGee.

"We run into each other at the supermarket about six months ago," McGee started.

"I have to admit at first I had no idea who he was," Elizabeth laughed, "Only after he explained that you two work together I realized that I knew him. Well I dropped my bottle of milk and Tim helped me clean up the mess. He was so nice that I felt the strong urge to thank him and so I invited him for dinner."

"Wow, that's a big thank you," Tony grinned. "So six months. Why didn't you tell us?"

"After all it was of course a bit awkward and we didn't want to cause any trouble as long as we weren't sure where this would take us," Elizabeth answered and smiled at McGee.

"But since six months can be considered a serious relationship we thought it was about time to tell you guys. So what do you think?" McGee asked shifting uncomfortably from one foot to the other.

"What do I think?" Tony laughed, "I would lie if I told you I wasn't surprised. But despite that I'm very happy for the both of you. I really am!" Tony raised his glass, "To you two!"

--

Ziva watched the toasting from within the house still unsure what to think about all of this. When she turned to open the fridge Elizabeth was standing in the door way.

"Can I help you with something?" she asked looking as nervous as Ziva felt.

Ziva would have loved to tell her that she was fine, but knew that it would be quite rude, so instead she placed some bread on the kitchen counter and attempted a smile, "You could cut the bread."

The woman worked in silence for a while, neither willing to break the it until Elizabeth put the knife away and turned to face Ziva, "This is odd, isn't it?"

Ziva let out a small sarcastic laugh, "It certainly is," she nodded. "I don't know what you expect me to do or say," she added truthfully. "I have no idea what you think of me. Do you see me as the woman who stole your fiancé or …," she didn't get to finish the sentence, because Elizabeth stepped at her side.

"I certainly don't think of you like that. Is that what you thought?"

"I have to admit that this is what actually happened," Ziva answered.

"Well, you could be right about that," Elizabeth said and then suddenly started laughing.

Ziva looked at her confused and then without knowing why joined in. Both woman laughed until tears were running down their cheeks, neither of them knowing why. After a while Elizabeth started to speak, "I never thought about you as the woman who stole my man. He never belonged to me in the first place. And I knew it. I mean I didn't admit it, but somewhere deep down inside of me I knew it and I have to admit I was even relieved when things turned out like they did. Tony and I that would have never worked out. I know that now. And I think we were both lucky that we found out before it would have become much more complicated."

"But why did you agree to marry him in the first place," Ziva asked confused.

"Gosh! I have no idea. It was a crazy time in my life and he was there, saying all the right things at the right time. I felt needed. I'm normally not someone to make decisions like that. But for once I did, God knows why," she giggled.

"And McGee?" Ziva asked starting to feel more comfortable.

"A coincidence. But the best I ever had in my life. I'm really happy," Elizabeth smiled.

"That's good to know," Ziva said honestly, "So no hard feelings?" she glanced at the other woman.

"Not from my side," Elizabeth said, "And as we are probably going to spent some time together in the future, I hope we can be friends."

Ziva nodded and smiled, feeling suddenly that becoming friends was just a matter of time.

--

An hour later all their guests had arrived Gibbs and Ducky strolled through the garden, while Abby, McGee and Elizabeth talked to some neighbours whom Ziva and Tony had also invited. Palmer was late as usual and Tony fumbled with a steak that was about to slip into the grass. The sun was slowly setting and Ziva lit the lampions that hang all over the garden.

"Do you like it?" Tony whispered into her ear, placing his arms around her.

"It's perfect," she smiled leaning into his embrace.

"So what did you and Elizabeth talk about?" he wanted to know.

"Oh this and that. Mainly girls talk," Ziva stated casually.

"So you're fine with McGee's new girlfriend?"

"I think we are on a good way," she stated. "And who knows, maybe someday we'll be friends."

"Glad to hear that," he said before he kissed her neck and hurried back to his steaks.

Later that night Tony raised his glass again, stepping up onto the porch and gathering his guests around them, "Ziva and I would like to thanks all of you for coming tonight. Those of you who have known us for quite sometime were probably a bit curious if we were going to make it to this point. But we have, thanks to you guys! We couldn't have made this house a home without all the effort you put into this. And especially not without the great knowledge of our dear boss, Jethro Gibbs," Tony pointed out to Gibbs who wasn't at all pleased with all the attention and just gave a short nod.

Tony laughed, "Well thanks for helping and thanks for being out guests tonight. Cheers!"

"Cheers!" was the united answer from the party and Tony turned to Ziva to steal a quick kiss, before joining the others again.

--

It was long after midnight when all the guests had left and Tony and Ziva had cleaned up the garden and house.

"Too exhausted for a last dance?" Tony asked when he closed the backdoor and stepped at Ziva's side.

"Never," she answered and let him led her into the living room. He searched through his old records until he had finally found the one he was searching for.

They listened to the soft piano playing and the silky voice of Tony Bennett that filled the room. Tony pulled her closer, taking in her scent, drowning in her like he always did.

_Some day, when I'm awfully low,  
When the world is cold,  
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...  
__And the way you look tonight._

Her hands wandered up his back and rested on his head, pulling his head closer to her and letting her fingers dance through his hair.

_Yes you're lovely, with your smile so warm  
And your cheeks so soft,  
There is nothing for me but to love you,  
And the way you look tonight._

She had changed in the last one and a half years, not only mentally but also physically. She probably had gained two or three pounds compared to the time before she had been send back to Mossad and it only made her more beautiful. Despite her slim and sporty figure this pounds added a sensual, womanly glow that softened her. To him she had never been more beautiful.

_With each word your tenderness grows,  
Tearing my fear apart...  
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,  
It touches my foolish heart._

True to his word he had changed. Becoming more mature without losing his boyish charm. He had become a man to rely on in every possible way. He had been more than patient with her, after her return, giving her the time she needed until she could tell him what had happened in Israel and that he was the only reason she had survived. She thought about Hamid and Jamal from time to time. Wondering if they were okay. She hoped that one day she had the chance to thank them for saving her life, knowing that this day was not likely to come soon.

_Lovely ... Never, ever change.  
Keep that breathless charm.  
Won't you please arrange it ?  
'Cause I love you ... Just the way you look tonight._

The last words of the song faded and they looked into each others eyes telling each other more with this gesture than they could ever have put into words.

"Just the way you look tonight," Tony whispered the last words until he led her to the bedroom.


	32. To do it all again

I wanted to post this earlier but I visited my godchild on the weekend and he kept me pretty busy. I had to build the Alps out of sand. ;-) Thanks for the reviews!

--

_Washington D.C.  
November 2054_

____

„Abby they are never going to let us into the club, "Tony protested and tried to keep up with Abby who stroll a good couple of meters in front of him.

"And why shouldn't they?" Abby called after him over her shoulder.

"Well, because we're old?!" Tony stated the obvious.

Last night Abby had come up with the idea to go dancing. Tony had believed that she meant some real old fashioned ballroom dancing, but he was wrong. Abby talked about a night of clubbing. She looked much better than yesterday. She had put her make-up back on and thrown herself into an almost ridiculous outfit. He was glad that she was in such a good mood and he really did not want to spoil her last night out, before she had to start the chemo, but this was just insane.

"Abby this is useless! Come on, even if we were 40 years younger they wouldn't let us into this club. And anyway, don't you think it's a bit loud for us?"

Abby laughed and turned around to face Tony, "Since when do you reject a good night of fun?"

"Just so you notice! The last time I've been out. I mean really out was 2019," Tony replied and let himself fall onto a nearby park bench.

"Come on Tony!" Abby started to plead, "I wanted to do something real crazy and you agreed. And by the way I know the owner. His son is in one of my courses. So it's not a problem at all to get in and for your ears I brought this," she pulled out a pack of earplugs and handed it to Tony. "So what do you say?" she blinked her eyes at him, knowing that he had no chance to let her down.

"All right, all right," he finally agreed and got up to follow her, "But not too long!

Abby shrieked in delight and pulled him towards the entrance of the club. Loud music blurred out onto the street and true to her word Abby and Tony could skip the long row in front of the club and entered immediately followed by the irritated views of the other guests.

Abby beamed at the flickering lights and Tony could see the young Abby in her face for a second. The one he had met all these years ago and he couldn't help but smile. He followed her to a separated area where Abby greeted a young guy. Probably her student who handed her two glasses with which Abby returned to Tony to offer him one.

"What is this?" he shouted over the music and eyes the content of his glass suspiciously.

"I have no idea," Abby laughed and clung her glass with Tony's

Tony had to admit whatever had been in his glass it tasted pretty good and so Abby organized another one. The alcohol let them forget about the loud music and their age and it didn't take long and they found themselves on the dance floor. Much to the delight of the other guest who found the odd couple more than entertaining. Abby and Tony got one free drink after another and only in the early morning hours they left the club, still laughing and still on an all time high. They finally ended up at an old Diner and ordered pancakes for breakfast.

"So what do you think?" Abby asked and yawned.

"Well despite the fact that we made total fools of our selves, I feel pretty good. Although I'm sure this feeling won't be for long, once the hangover kicks in," he grinned and sipped on his coffee.

"It was worth it," Abby smiled and placed her hand on Tony's, "Thanks for coming along."

Tony smiled, "Anytime Abs. Anytime."

--

They were still tired when they arrived at the hospital in the evening. Abby checked in and was brought to her room by a young nurse.

"This is your room Mrs. Sciuto and Dr. Andrews will be with you in a minute. If you need anything you just ring and I'll be here in a minute," the young woman said and smiled warmly at Abby and Tony before she left them alone.

"So how do you feel?" Tony asked while helping Abby to unpack.

"A bit nervous, but I'm okay," she tried to reassure him but Tony knew exactly that she was scared.

"Abby," he put his arm around his shoulder and pulled her close, "I'm staying as long as you need me!"

"But Ziva," Abby protested.

"Ziva is fine. I'll get a daily update and they are taking good care of her," Tony wanted to put an end to the discussion.

"But she needs you!" Abby tried it again.

"You need me! You have always been there for us and our children. We could always count on you and now is the time I can give some of it back. I know Ziva wouldn't want it any other way," Tony hugged her again and then released her to finish her unpacking.

Ten minutes later Dr. Andrews appeared, "Alright Mrs. Sciuto all of this looks fine to me. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 1000 to do some basic tests and then we can start with the chemo. Do you have any questions?" he asked.

"No I think I know all I need. Thank you," Abby nodded not wanting to go through all of it again.

"All right, have a good night," Dr. Andrews said his farewells and nodded into Tony's direction, before leaving them to themselves.

Tony stepped at Abby's side and placed a soft kiss on her cheek, "I'm heading home so that you can get some sleep. I'll be back in the morning."

"Thank you, Tony!" she smiled and sighed in relieve. It was good to know that she had someone to rely on.


	33. A once in a lifetime love

I hope you like this one. A lot of talking is involved. More than usually I think. R&R

--

_NCIS Headquarters_

_January 3rd 2011_

--

Abby sat on Tony's desk when McGee arrived at the office on Monday morning, „You're late!" she simply stated letting her legs swing and humming the melody of her new favourite song which was actually a cover from the 90'ies. 'Gosh the 90's were ages ago,' Abby mused and totally missed what McGee asked her.

"Abby! Are you listening to me?" McGee looked at her, question mark in his face.

"What?!" Abby spun around and nearly kicked herself off Tony's desk.

"I just asked you; Where are Tony and Ziva?"

Abby shrugged her shoulders, "Don't know. Late?" she suggested.

"Did you and Lil' had a good time on Hawaii?" she changed topics and was eager to know everything about their trip to the island.

"Actually we had," McGee smirked and sat down behind his desk.

"Timothy McGee! What is it you're not telling me? Spit it out!" Abby demanded and towered herself as much as possible over McGee's desk.

"Well it's nothing," McGee said nonchalantly but his grin told her differently.

"What. Is. It?" Abby asked with even more force.

"Lil' and I got engaged," McGee said and then beamed up at Abby who shrieked and then stormed around the desk to bury him in a bear hug.

"This is so great! McGee I knew you would end up together. You're such a great match!"

"Who is a great match?" Tony suddenly asked from behind.

"Lil' and McGee!" Abby stated as if it was the most obvious, "They got engaged."

"Really?" Tony looked at McGee who nodded eagerly. "Wow, that's great McGee! Congratulations!" Tony tried to push his way around Abby but didn't succeed and so ended up giving McGee an encouraging pad on the shoulder.

"That's it?" McGee asked shocked. "I thought you would come up with something mean as you usually do!"

"Me?" Tony said with faked hurt, "I would never do such a thing!"

"Yeah, sure," McGee and Abby said in unison and then laughed.

"Seriously. I'm happy for both of you and for once I'm going to behave as an adult and won't ruin this day for you."

"Thank you, Tony!" McGee said surprised.

"You're welcome! Now where is the boss?" he asked.

"In MTAC with the director," Abby answered. "He's been there for over an hour."

Tony frowned, "Any idea why?"

"Nope! He didn't tell," Abby shook her head. "By the way where's Ziva?"

Tony chuckled, "Seems as if the great Israeli Ninja Chick had to much alcohol on our New Years party and is still sick in bed."

"Odd," Abby mumbled, "I did not have the feeling she had that much alcohol."

"Me neither. But she said maybe it was the mixture. If it's not better by tomorrow I will take her to see a doctor," he said and then looked up to see Gibbs coming down the stairs.

Before Gibbs could say anything Abby was babbling and bouncing up and down while telling Gibbs the news of McGee's engagement.

Gibbs smiled warmly at his young agent and shook his hand, "Congratulation. Don't mess it up!"

"I have no attention to do so," McGee grinned, "Thank you boss!"

"Where's Ziva?" he asked when noticing that she was missing.

"At home, sick," Tony said.

"Something serious?" he looked worried.

"No, no. She should be fine by tomorrow," Tony reassured him. "So what did the director want from you?"

"Ah, nothing important," Gibbs dismissed the topic and signalled his team to grab their gear.

"What?" McGee shook his head in desperation, "A case? It's practically the first day of the year!"

"That obviously doesn't matter to criminals," Gibbs smirked and got the team moving.

Abby sighed. She had hoped to spent a nice Monday morning with the team in the office, instead she had to return to her lonely lab. She was about to leave when Tony's telephone rang.

"Abby Sciuto!" she answered it.

"Hey Abby what are you doing up in the bullpen?" Ziva asked surprised.

"I thought about chatting with the guys, but they have a case."

"No way it's only Monday!" Ziva exclaimed.

"My point exactly! Guess what?!"

"What?!"

"McGee and Lil' got engaged!" Abby shrieked into the receiver causing Ziva to hold hers a couple of centimetres away from her ear.

"Wow! That's great! I have to call Lil' later."

"So how are you doing?" Abby asked now sounding a bit worried.

"Much better, but I'm still going to see the doctor. I have an appointment in an hour. That's why I'm calling. I wanted to tell Tony. But I guess it can wait. I'll call back later."

"All right. Get well soon! I miss you!"

"Abby you only saw me two days ago!"

"That's an awful long time!" Abby protested.

"All right. Bye Abby!" Ziva laughed.

"Bye!"

--

Later that day when Tony came home from work he found Ziva in the bedroom in front of the mirror only wearing panties and a bra, studying herself intently.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" he asked and placed a soft kiss on her shoulder.

"Good," she said absent minded.

"Guess what?!" Tony asked while plopping onto the bed.

"McGee and Lil' got engaged," she simply stated and spoiling all his fun.

"How do you know?" he asked surprised.

"Talked to Abby this morning," she replied and turned to see herself in the mirror in a different angle.

"So that's great news isn't it?" he looked at her starting to get irritated by her behaviour.

Ziva just nodded and then without taking her eyes from her reflexion in the mirror asked: "Do you think I put on weight?"

"That's a trap isn't it?" he answered with another question.

She sighed in desperation, "Seriously. Do I look as if I put on weight?"

"No you don't!" he answered quickly. How stupid did she think he was? Actually he had the feeling that she had gained at least four pounds in the last two month but who cared.

"Well I do have," she suddenly pulled him out of his thoughts.

"I told you all this sweets aren't good. Guess we need to run an extra mile in the morning," he grinned childishly, "Or we have to do some other exercise," his grin grew even wider.

"I don't think that will do any good," she stated and finally turned around only for Tony to get lost in her beauty for the moment. Her perfect body and the bronze tan of her skin, her long black hair that fell wildly around her shoulders, her lips that he longed to kiss every minute of the day and these beautiful brown eyes he could drown in. "Actually all the exercises brought me into this," she continued.

"I don't understand? Since when does sex make fat? I mean not that you're fat!" he hurried to add.

"Think about it Tony. Think about it!" she had her hands on her hips and was staring at him. He thought! He really thought and then very slowly it dawned to him.

"You mean you're …," he didn't get to finish his sentence.

"Yes, I'm pregnant," she said suddenly sounding surprisingly small.

"And is that a bad thing?" Tony asked while the news slowly sank in and his heart was warmed with something he had never felt before.

"You tell me! We never talked about it," Ziva said sounding angry. Because she knew it was his fault that they were at this point. Nearly four months ago she had had a cold and had to take antibiotics, which of course influenced the effective of her pill. He had promised to be careful but obviously that hadn't worked out. Being occupied with her anger she didn't notice the big smile that spread out on Tony's face. She didn't even notice that he had gotten up and was now right in front of her.

"I think, that this is the greatest thing in the world," he said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, letting his hand caress her cheek.

"What?" she whispered.

"I mean if you'd ask me, I couldn't be happier," he moved even closer.

"But you never said a word," she protested.

"Neither did you. I didn't want to push you. I thought if you were ready you would tell me," he explained.

"And I thought the same about you," she answered a small smile on her lips.

"So are you ready?" he asked carefully.

She nodded slowly, "Are _you_ ready?"

He pulled her close and kissed her and then picked her up and carried her over to their bed, "Yes I'm ready," he said when he placed her gently down and smiled at her. "I can't wait to start our family!"

She pulled him down and kissed him, her heart warming with the same feeling as Tony's. They would be a family in nearly five months.


	34. Tell me would we?

I'm sorry I kept you waiting, but somehow this chapter didn't wanted to play out as I wanted it to. I hope you enjoy it nevertheless. Thanks for the reviews and have a nice weekend everybody.

--

_Washington D.C.  
November2054_

Tony was back as promised the following morning. He had brought Abby some flowers and placed them on her nightstand, while Abby was nervously pacing through her room.

"You know what I really need right now is a Caff Pow," she suddenly said.

Tony laughed, "You quit drinking Caff Pows years ago Abs!"

"Yes but right now I could need one," she sighed.

"The doctor said, you're not allowed to drink anything before they make the tests," Tony said fatherly.

"I know! Damn it!" she sat down at the table in her room and started to tap her foot in a nervous manner. Biting on her fingernails she looked as if she was waiting to be called in by the director. Like in old times.

Tony kneeled down in front of her, placing his hands on her knees, "It's going to be alright," he said gently.

She looked into his eyes, "How do you wanna know?" her voice was barely a whisper.

"Because you're Abby. You're a fighter," he said and grunted in pain when he tried to get up again. She was quiet for a while but then couldn't help and had to chuckle.

"Someone's getting old."

"Yeah, thanks for mentioning it," he smirked and sat down beside her.

--

Two hours later he was still waiting for her to return to her room and though he had brought himself a book, he was generously bored. He strolled down the long corridors of the hospital and looked here and there. A lot had changed since he had been here the last time which was about forty years ago. He remembered that he had promised to call Kate and Sam to tell them how things were going. He pulled out his mobile phone and sat down in a quiet corner to call Kate.

"Hey dad," his daughter answered the phone after only two rings, "I thought you would never call. Is everything alright?"

"Yes everything went well so far. I'm waiting for Abby to get back to her room," Tony said and looked out of the window.

"Give her a hug from all of us when she gets back. We would love to come but with the kids it's just not possible at the moment," she sighed.

"Don't worry. I think it's better this way. She needs rest and she knows that you think about her," Tony reassured her. "How are the kids and Scott?"

"They're all fine and Sam and Lisa are here with the kids do you wanna talk to them?" she asked and was already calling for her brother. "Oh I think they're somewhere in the garden.

"Don't mind. I'll call back again later. Tell them I said hi."

"Okay dad. Take care and we'll talk later," Kate said goodbye and the line went dead. Tony kept looking out of the window.

"What are you doing here?" a small voice out of nowhere asked him.

Tony looked into the eyes of a young boy and smiled, "I'm waiting for a friend, her name is Abby."

"Is she ill?" the boy asked further.

Tony nodded sadly, "I'm afraid she is."

"My mom is ill too," the boy said and his big sad eyes nearly broke Tony's heart.

"I'm sorry," he said and stroke the young boys head gently. "What is your name?"

"Greg," the boy answered.

"Well hello Greg, I'm Tony," he offered him his hand and the young boy shook it eagerly. "And how old are you Greg?"

"I'm five," he said with big eyes and sat down at Tony's side. "They told me to wait outside."

"Do you want me to wait with you for a while?" Tony asked.

Greg nodded his head in approval watching Tony intently. They sat together for half an hour. Tony bought them ice-cream and they talked about fishing and the newest cartoons of which Tony had never heard. When Tony told him that he had been a Federal Agent Greg wanted to know everything about it. Tony told him about NCIS, Abby, Gibbs, McGee and Ducky. But he avoided to mention Ziva's name.

"Daddy," Greg suddenly exclaimed and ran towards a young man in his early thirties.

"Hey Greg here you are. Mommy wants to see you," he said lifting his son up into the air.

"Tony was an NCIS agent," the boy told his dad proudly and Greg's father stepped up at Tony's side.

"I hope he wasn't bothering you," Greg's father asked concerned but Tony shook his head.

"No no! I was glad to have some company," he winked at Greg who smiled brightly at him.

"Okay let's go, see mommy," Greg's father said and shook Tony's hand, "Thanks for entertaining him."

"You're welcome," Tony smiled and waved at Greg, "Goodbye!"

"Goodbye Tony," Greg replied and disappeared into one of the rooms.

--

20 minutes later Dr. Andrews appeared, approaching Tony.

"Everything went fine," he answered Tony's unspoken question. "She's tired but other than that she's done very well."

"How are her chances?" Tony asked and was afraid to hear the answer.

"We will have to see how she reacts to the chemo, but she's strong and healthy and the chemo is not as aggressive as it has been thirty years ago. So if there won't be any unforeseen complications her chances are very good," Dr. Andrews explained.

Tony was relieved, "Can I see her?"

"Yes, sure. She's waiting for you," the doctor smiled and led the way back to Abby's room.

"Hey I thought you disappeared," Abby greeted him.

"I was just around the corner," Tony protested. "And the kids want me to give you a hug."

Abby smiled and rested her head on her pillow, "Are they alright?"

"Yes they're all fine," Tony said.

"Good," Abby yawned and was fast asleep the next minute, while Tony woke at her side.


	35. Greatest love of all

I know I know!!! I'm sorry. Life was crazy. I'm looking for a new job and had to spent way too much time to aply for one. I spent some wonderful days in Chicago and now I hope to get back on track with this story here.

--

_Washington D.C.  
June 26th, 2011_

All Tony could do was staring in amazement at the little wonder in his arms. He could hold his son like this forever. The world could stop turning, right now he wouldn't notice or care.

"Hey," he heard her whisper.

"Hey," he smiled the brightest smile she had ever seen, "How do you feel?" he asked, leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Exhausted," she said. "How are my two favorite men doing?"

"Oh we're getting to know each other. He's perfect," he looked at her, his expression suddenly serious. "I'm so proud of you," he said his voice shaking.

"What? Is that a tear?" she looked amused, but his words had touched.

"No, no!" he sniffed. "I'm just tired."

"Come here," she said and patted the space at her side, holding out her hands to take their son into her arms. She moved a bit to the side so that Tony could lie down beside her in the small hospital bed. "I think this," she kissed her son's forehead, "Is something we both can be proud of."

He kissed her once more and pulled her close, wanting to shield his little family from any possible harm.

--

"Where are they?! Where are they?!" Abby shrieked while running through the corridor checking one room number after the other.

"Abby calm down," McGee grinned and winked at his wife.

"How can I calm down? It's our first NCIS baby," she stopped and turned around to face McGee and his wife. "You two should really take care that it's not going to be the only one!"

McGee and Lil' looked at each other confused and turned around when they heard Gibbs and Ducky laugh.

"You heard her," Ducky said and Gibbs patted McGee on the shoulder, still grinning from ear to ear.

Tony stepped out of the room and looked down the corridor, "Ha, I knew that I heard you," he called out.

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed and hurried at his side, "Where are they?"

"Just behind me, but you have to bridle your enthusiasm a bit! He just fell asleep," Tony explained and Abby nodded, following Tony together with the others into the room.

"Hey," Ziva greeted them with a whisper, the little boy sleeping in her arms.

"How are you feeling?" Abby asked and moved closer to the bed.

"Good," Ziva smiled and pulled the blanket away so that everyone could see the baby.

"May I present you," Tony said proudly, stepping at his wife's side, "Samuel Jethro DiNozzo! If you don't mind, boss?!"

"Not at all, I'm honored," Gibbs smiled and placed a soft kiss on Ziva's cheek.

"He's so cute," Abby whispered and took the little hand into his.

"Do you wanna hold him?" Ziva asked and laughed when she saw Abby's eyes grew big, "After all it can never be too early to get to know you godchild!"

"Are you kidding me?" Abby asked.

"Of course only if you want to," Tony said and already knew the answer.

"Of course I want to," Abby beamed, while swaying the little boy in her arms. "I'm going to spoil you, Sam. We're going to have so much fun!"

"We have no doubt about that," Tony said and took Ziva's hand, placing a gentle kiss on it

They all stayed for an hour, one after the other holding little Sam in their arms and laughing about Abby's big plans for the little boy.

Gibbs was the last to leave, he stepped at Tony's side and for a second Tony thought Gibbs would head-slap him, but instead Gibbs pulled him into a quick hug, patting him on the shoulder, "Good job, Tony!"

"Thank you, boss!" Tony answered and watched Gibbs leave, before turning back to his little family.

--

Three months later Ziva sat in her living room, her feet on the coffee table and a cup of tea in her hand.

"Abby I wish you could be here every day," Ziva mourned and watched Abby who carried Sam through the living room, beaming like a Christmas bauble. "I'm exhausted!"

"Is it that bad?" Abby asked never taking her eyes from her godson.

"Worse," Ziva grunted, closing her eyes.

"And what about Tony? Does he help you? You know if not I could… .!

"Abby, he's great. He's helping as much as possible. It's just a 24 hours job," Ziva sighed.

"Any idea when you'll come back to work?" Abby asked and sat down at Ziva's side.

"In three months," Ziva smiled, "And I can't wait. As much as I love this little man here, I miss work. I have the feeling that all the good stuff is happening without me."

"I swear you haven't missed a thing. Right now it's so boring that we have to make up cases to prevent falling asleep at work," Abby grinned.

They heard the front door and turned around to see Tony entering the living room.

"Hey girls and boy! Did you have a nice afternoon?" he leaned over the back of the couch and gave his son a kiss on the forehead and then turned to Ziva. "Hey sweet cheeks," he kissed her and then walked around the couch to plop himself into one of the arm chairs grinning from ear to ear.

"What?" Ziva looked at him, knowing that something was on his mind.

"You know I told you that the Director wanted to see me today," Tony said.

Ziva nodded and looked at Abby who just shrugged not knowing what the point was either.

"Guess what?" Tony beamed.

"What?" Ziva asked not knowing what to make out of it.

"I get my own team!!" Tony exclaimed.

"Oh Tony," Abby shrieked and jumped up to give him a hug, careful not to smash little Sam who was still in her arms. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks Abs," Tony smiled and looked at Ziva who hadn't moved, "So what do you think? I mean it's perfect. We knew we couldn't work in the same team once Sam was born. I'm still surprised they let us stay together so long. But now you can return to your old job. Isn't that great?!"

"Yes, it sounds great," Ziva replied and forced herself to smile, "Really great. If you excuse me I have to feed Sam."

Tony looked after Ziva and then at Abby, "Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Abby shook her head, "Give her some time. I better go now," she kissed him goodbye on the cheek and left the Tony and Ziva alone.

--

Later that night Tony lay awake in bed, waiting for Ziva who was in the nursery trying to convince Sam to get some sleep. She had insisted to go, although he had offered more than once to get up so that she should get some sleep. They hadn't talked about his promotion again and he was trying to figure out what he had done wrong but he didn't have a clue.

Meanwhile Ziva watched her son who finally had fallen asleep. She knew that she had been wrong and she should apologize to Tony.

When she stepped back into their bedroom Tony seemed to be asleep, but she knew that he was just faking it. She slipped under the covers and slowly moved to his side of the bed and let her fingers dance over his chest.

"Tony," she whispered and received a soft mourn in response. "I'm sorry. I'm very happy for you. You deserve your own team."

Tony opened his eyes and turned his head to look into her eyes, "What about earlier?"

"I hate to admit it, but I think I was jealous," she said and was surprised by her own honesty.

"Why?" he asked.

"I thought you're following your dreams and I'm going to be a desperate housewife," she answered.

Tony laughed and turned around fully, popping his head up on his elbow, "Believe me, you'll never be a desperate housewife, my crazy Mossad chick!"

"I'm proud of you," she said and kissed him gently on the lips.

"We're a team, whatever I achieve or whatever you achieve, we couldn't do it without one another," he said pulling her close.

"Oh words of wisdom," Ziva grinned.

"I do surprise myself from time to time," he replied.

"How about surprising me, right now?" she asked a mischievous smile on her face.

"Just you wait! Just you wait," he exclaimed and pressed her down into the pillows.


	36. Could we?

Alright, on we go. Thanks for the reviews I'm so glad you're still reading this.  
Somehow I managed to smash my Labtop so I probably won't be able to write over the weekend which I had actually had planed to do. I need a friend to have a look at it and hopefully she can fix the problem.

Anyway enjoy!

---

_December 24th 2054_

_Hughesville_

„It's nice to have the whole family together for once," Kate stated and immediately regretted her words when she looked at her father. "I'm sorry dad. I didn't mean … ."

Tony waved her off, "It's alright, don't worry."

They had all met up at McGee's house and even Casey and her fiancé Marcos had came over from Spain to be with the family for the holidays. The last one they expected was Brian who should arrive any minute. The kids were happily occupied with McGee's and Lil's new dog and the grown-ups gathered around the fireplace, enjoying the Christmas spirit.

"So aunt Abs, how are you feeling?" Scott asked while pulling his wife down beside him.

"Actually very good. The three weeks of chemo have been hard, but now I'm feeling quite good and my doctors are very satisfied. I think you can stop worrying about me for a while," she smiled and exchanged looks with Tony. He had been her rock in the last weeks, always being at her side and for her it was his merit that she had come out of this so well.

"I'm really glad to hear that," Kate said softly and squeezed Abby's hand. They all wouldn't know what to do without their beloved Abby.

"Uncle Brian," Tali exclaimed when she saw the youngest of the three McGee children enter the living room.

"Hey little one's," he laughed and was almost thrown to the ground when five little blizzards ran into his arms. Although Brian was merely home the kids adored him. He never failed to bring souvenirs from all the exotic places he visited but today he brought something else home with him.

"Uncle Brian," Tail tucked at his trousers, "Who's that woman?"

Everyone turned around to notice the young woman standing behind Brian. Lil' and McGee looked at one another but neither knew who she was.

"That's Rebecca," Brian explained and placed his arm around the brown haired woman.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Tim jr. asked and giggled.

"Yes, she's my girlfriend," Brian laughed but didn't fail to notice the disappointed look on Tali's face.

"Hey, don't worry! You're still my favourite girl in the world!" Brian ruffled Tali's hair which made her laugh as usual and satisfied she strolled back with the others to play with the dog.

--

Kate was the first to come out of her state of pure wonder and shock. The last time Brian had brought someone home had been in college and to say that everyone was surprised would have been an understatement.

"So welcome to the family," Kate said and got up to greet Rebecca properly by shaking her hand. "I'm Kate Brian's sister in law."

Rebecca gladly took her hand and smiled at the woman she had heard so much about since she met Brian. In fact she had the strange feeling to know all of them for quite a while. Brian had told her so much about his family that she had the feeling to be part of it before she even met them. She was now introduced to every single member of the big McGee/DiNozzo clan and was bombarded with questions and Brian smiled at her the whole time, glad that he had finally found the right one.

After an hour of questioning they had learned that Rebecca was a thirty-year-old Broadway actress and that she had met Brian after a show in a small bar in Soho. She had two younger brother's who still lived in Florida with her parents. But the most thrilling and surprising news was that Brian had a new job in New York City that wouldn't require nearly as much travelling as his old one and that after all this years of travelling around the world he would finally settle down.

"I can't believe it's our son," Lil' whispered into McGee's ear.

"Me neither," McGee whispered back. "But I guess that's what love can do."

"So mom, what's the dog's name?" Brian pulled his mother out of her secret chatting.

"Oh, well that was actually Kate's idea. You know how crazy she is about this old TV show about this mother and daughter. What was it's name?"

"Gilmore Girls," Kate called from the other side of the room.

"Right!" Brian exclaimed, "You talked Lisa and Sam into naming Lorelai after the lead character!"

"That's so not true!" Kate protested and elbowed her husband into the side, "Tell your brother it's not true!"

But Scott just high-fived his younger brother, knowing that he was only stating the facts.

"Oh stop it!" Lil' commanded. "Sometimes I wonder who the kids are and who the adults!"

"We'll always be your kids, mom!" Casey stated. "Isn't that what you used to tell us?"

Everybody laughed and even Lil' had to admit that her daughter got a point.

"Anyway, the dog was named after the dog from the show," she tried to get back on track, "And therefore is called Paul Anka."

"Is it allowed to name a dog like that?" Sam interfered now and received a punch from his wife, who knew that he was just going for the chance to tease his sister.

"What?!" he looked at her, an amused expression on his face.

"You know damn well what!" Lisa replied.

"How about leaving the men to their childish behavior and you girls come with me and help me with the goose?" Lil' attempted to separate the fighting masses. "And you guys can set the table," she added while shoving the girls into the kitchen.

"And still I think Lorelai is a wonderful name," Kate called out over her back, while following the others into the kitchen.

"What did aunt Kate say?" Lorelai's head suddenly appeared behind the back of the couch and caused the men to laugh again.

Sam picked his daughter up and placed a kiss on her cheek, "She said that you're a gorgeous little girl!"

---

Christmas morning arrived without any bigger incidents and the kids were occupied with unwrapping their presents. Tony stood on the top of the stairs looking down on this picture perfect Christmas Day and longed for Ziva to be part of it, knowing that every Christmas without her was not perfect.


	37. Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas

I think this is more of a filler, and since my labtop still refuses to work with me I had to steal a minute here or there at work. But I thought a bit harmony is what we all could use at least for now.

--

_Great Falls, Virginia_

_December 21st 2011_

Tony smiled at the sight of his 6 months old baby and his mother, curled up on the couch together. Sam had given them a hard time last night and at some point Ziva had taken him down so that Tony could get some sleep.

In moments like this he wondered how he had come so far? How everything had turned out so well for them in the end? How he had transformed into the man he was? If six years ago someone had told him that he was going to end up having a family and actually loving it, he would have laughed and now he stood here in the early morning hours and was wondering how he could have ever lived without it.

He leant down and placed a gentle kiss on Ziva's cheek, which caused her to open her eyes slowly, "Morning," she mumbled and yawned.

"Happy Chanukah," Tony smiled and took Sam out of his mother's arms.

"Don't you have to go?" she asked glancing at the clock on the chimney, while getting up and gathering the blanket and pillow to carry it back upstairs.

Tony shook his head, "No, I still got time. You can take your time and I'll take care of this little stinky boy," he tickled Sam which caused the little boy to start giggling in delight.

Ziva smiled at the sight of her 6 months old baby and his father, grinning at each other as if there was no tomorrow. And she wondered how she had come so far? How had everything worked out so well for them in the end? If someone had told her six years ago that the Mossad agent Ziva David would have a family with the most immature person she had ever met, she would have laughed and now she stood here in the early morning hours and was wondering how she could have ever lived without it.

--

Half an hour later Ziva stepped back into the kitchen, while Tony tried to convince his son to eat his baby food.

"Are your new team members as easily to influence as Sam?" Ziva joked and took the spoon out of Tony's hand to feed the little boy without any problems.

Tony shook his head, "No, actually they're much better trained!"

"Trained?" Ziva shot him a glare, "This is your son, not a dog!"

"I know," Tony laughed and glanced at his watch. "I better get going!" He kissed his family goodbye and was nearly out of the door when Ziva called after him, "Don't forget the Christmas tree!"

"No, I won't," he called back and was gone.

Of course he had forgotten about the Christmas tree, he had been way too occupied with Ziva's return to NCIS. They had a surprise for her and not telling her nearly killed him.

--

"Tony!" Abby shrieked when he entered her lab, "Since you have your own team I barely see you," she pouted while spinning around on her chair, sending her pig tails flying like a propeller.

"And I'm terribly sorry about that," Tony said, swinging a fresh Caff Pow in front of her, "But the probies have to learn to deal with you." He grinned, when Abby snatched the Caff Pow out of his hands and smiled brightly.

"Ah well, they could be worse," she said getting up and signalling Tony to follow her. "So what do you think about this?"

"Well what is it?" Tony tilted his head to see the object from a different angle.

Abby shook her head in frustration, "It's Ziva's welcome back present!"

"Ah ha," Tony mumbled still not getting what this thing was suppose to be.

"You don't get it, do you?" Abby asked, studying him.

"Well sure I do," Tony started to protest, "Actually, no I don't!"

"Never mind," Abby grinned, "It's a girl thing anyway!"

Tony nodded and placed a soft kiss on Abby's cheek, "Well in that case; Good job, Abs!"

"You sound more and more like Gibbs, you know!" Abby giggled. "Does your team call you …?"

"Boss?" William, one of Tony's new team members stuck his head around the corner, "We have a case."

"Grab your gear, I'm coming," Tony answered and turned towards Abby one's more, "Yes they do! And I'm loving it!" he smirked.

--

_December 25__th__ 2011_

It was way too early to get up for Tony's taste, but Ziva had him out of bed anyway. It was Christmas morning after all and they awaited the team for breakfast. Tony and Ziva had agreed to introduce Sam to both traditions, the Christian and the Jewish. And although Sam was still too young to understand what was going on they hoped to give him the best from both sides. Which caused them to celebrate Chanukah, followed by a Merry Christmas time.

Two hours later Gibbs and Ducky were the first to arrive and almost immediately were occupied with little Sam. Ziva and Tony grinned at each other watching the two men sitting on the floor in front of the Christmas tree, making funny noises and trying to out do each other in making Sam laugh.

"What are they doing?" Abby asked ten minutes later, when she stepped into the kitchen and handed Ziva her self-made Christmas pudding.

"The kids?" Ziva smirked and nodded towards Gibbs, Ducky and Sam.

Abby cocked one eyebrow and stepped closer to the kitchen door to see what was going on in the living room, "I see," she laughed and hopped onto the kitchen counter, "Anything I can help you with?"

Ziva shook her head. Tony had been helpful for once and so everything was ready.

--

Two hours later after a more than perfect breakfast it was time for exchanging presents. And although they had agreed not to give each other anything everyone pulled out a little something. But the biggest presents of course were for Sam. Who had no idea what to do with the big packages rapped in colourful papers. He just laid on the ground and smiled, while the others had fun with unwrapping his presents.

It was a picture perfect Christmas that ended with an old DiNozzo tradition. Everyone got comfortable in the living room, while Ziva and Lil' handed popcorn to everyone and Tony started the old famous movie, It's a wonderful Life.

--

_NCIS Headquarters  
January 2__nd__ 2012_

"Are you nervous?" Tony asked and watched Ziva intently.

She snorted, "Excited is the word! I can't wait to be back."

Tony laughed, glad that he had insisted on driving.

When they stepped out of the elevator and into the bullpen half an hour later it seemed as if nothing had changed. Ziva let her view wander and heard the familiar chatting, the noises she was used to and for a moment she thought that she had never been away.

"Boss!" William called from the other end of the bullpen and Tony turned to see what was going on.

"I'll be right back," he said quickly and left Ziva standing alone. And it was then that she realized that actually a lot had changed. She and Tony weren't on the same team anymore, but she had no time to drool over this, because only seconds later an all too familiar shriek brought her back to reality.

"Ziva!" Abby's voice was loud and clear to hear for everyone and Ziva couldn't help but smile. It seemed as if they hadn't seen each others in years when in reality it was just a day ago.

"Welcome back," Abby greeted her friend and buried her in a hug, before she guided her to her old desk.

"Hi Ziva," McGee beamed up from his computer and immediately handed her a case file. "Gibbs wants you to read this."

"He's wasting no time," Ziva commented and opened the folder in front of her but didn't get a chance to read it since Abby was already asking millions of questions.

"So was it hard to let Sam stay at the day-care centre?" Abby asked and touched a sore spot.

Ziva looked up, her expression serious, "Definitely not one of the easiest things to do. But I think he'll be fine and for now it's just three days a week," she shrugged not knowing what else to say.

Abby was about to go on, when Gibbs and the director appeared on the balcony.

"Agent David!" director Montgomery called down and received no answer. He looked at Gibbs who smirked.

"Agent David!!" Gibbs barked and this time Ziva looked up, a confused expression on her face.

Slowly she got up and searched the bullpen for Tony. She spotted him coming towards her, a big grin on his face.

"Agent David," the director tried to get her attention again and this time succeeded. "If I could see you in my office for a moment."

Ziva nodded and hurried up the stairs, disappearing behind the big doors of Montgomery's office.

--

When Ziva returned half an hour later her eyes sparkled. She saw them standing around her desk, looking up at her, curious about her reaction.

"You knew it, didn't you?" she asked the group, "You knew it all and no one said a word!" She tried to sound disappointed, but couldn't hide the smile that slowly spread on her face.

"Agent David it was about time that you stepped onto the right side," Gibbs smirked and handed her, her batch and the certificate that made her a full NCIS agent. The times of Liaison Officer David were finally over.

Ziva had to fight the tears that were threatening to fall, she guessed motherhood had made week.

"How did you do it?" she asked her voice shaking.

Gibbs shrugged, "Let's say some people owed me some favors."

--

When Tony and Ziva lay in bed that night Tony starred at the strange object that Abby had given to Ziva.

"So what is it?" he asked rolling over to face Ziva.

"It's a woman's thing," she replied, "You wouldn't understand."

"Try to make me understand," he challenged her, a mischievous grin on his lips.

"Oh I think I'll try something else with you," she laughed and pushed him into the covers.


	38. Memories, may be beautiful and yet

Here's the next chapter. I hope to have another one up today, but I can't promise. Depends on how much I have to do at work. Thanks for reading!

_Reedville/Virginia  
Chesapeake Bay_

_January 7th 2055_

Tony stood out on the porch overlooking the lake. He watched the snow falling down and tried to ignore the cold air that was surrounding him. He had left Hughesville on the 26th of December refusing McGee's and Lil's offer to spent New Years Eve with them. He had needed to get back. And although the other thought it was only because he worried about Ziva there was much more to it. Even though she lived in her own world and barely even noticed his presence she was still Ziva and he needed her. He needed to be with her no matter how high the prize was he had to pay for it. All the pain he held inside, disappeared as long as he could see her, knowing that she was still there. Somewhere under those layers of forgetting, she was still there.

"You're going to catch a cold standing here like this," she said and for a moment he thought it was his mind, playing tricks on him. "Come back inside," she said and placed her hand on his shoulder.

Slowly he turned around and gazed into her dark eyes, "You took your time coming back," he said and caressed her cheek.

She sighed, "It's getting more and more difficult, yes?!" She didn't know if it was a statement or a question. In moments like this she knew that she was ill, she knew that their time together would be limited until she would drift back into her own world again. She would never understand how in moments like this everything was so crystal clear when most of the time her world was foggy.

He placed his arm around her shoulders and guided her back inside, feeling her arm wrap around his waist.

"You missed a great Christmas party," he said when he sat down beside her in front of the warming fire.

"When?" she asked realizing that she had no clue what date it was.

"Two weeks ago," he said and smiled at the memory, "McGee and Lil' got themselves a dog called Paul Anka!"

Ziva shot him a look that told him that she didn't believe him.

"I swear it's true!!"

Ziva laughed, "Let me guess! It was Kate's idea."

Tony nodded, grinning from ear to ear. It felt so good to see her laugh again.

"So what else is new?" she asked leaning into him.

Tony told her about the latest developments and even about Abby's health condition, which upset Ziva more than he had expected.

"It's horrible to know that all this is happening and I can't be there for her. In fact I'm going to forget what happened, while you have to struggle with all of this. Sometimes I think it would be best if I stayed in this other world," she looked lost and desperate now.

"Don't you ever say that," Tony placed his hands on her shoulders and forced her to look at him, "Don't you dare not to come back to me! I know it's hard, but it's not your fault."

She nodded slowly, "But I can't promise."

"I just want you to try," he smiled.

"Good," she agreed and linked arms with him. "And now get me something to eat!"

--

"You're crazy," Ziva laughed.

"And you love it," Tony grinned back and took another turn on the road.

"We're going to be in big trouble when the nurses discover that you took me out," Ziva snorted.

"I think we're old enough to make such decisions on our own," Tony replied not caring what trouble he would get himself into as long as he saw Ziva happy.

"Maybe we're too old for making our own decisions," Ziva mused, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"We're not too old for anything," Tony laughed and let the engine roar.

After two hours of driving through the area they returned and sneaked back into the house.

"Mr. DiNozzo!" a sharp voice called out after them, before they could climb the stairs.

"Shit!" Tony hissed, while Ziva giggled.

--

It was getting late and Tony was getting up to leave, as much as he wanted to spent more time with her, they both were almost falling asleep.

"I'd better get going," he smiled.

"Why?" she asked and reached out for him.

"Zee, we both know that," he didn't get to finish.

"I know," she interrupted, "But still, can't you stay here for tonight?"

"I not sure," he replied.

"Please!" she begged and pulled him back down onto the couch with her.

"Alright," he nodded. "I'll stay." He hoped that this wouldn't end in a big scene the next morning, when she might not recall what had happened.

"Thank you," she said tracing the lines on his face.

"For what?"

"Everything! I love you Tony. I always will. Don't you ever forget that!"

He leant forward to kiss her and whispered, "I won't!"


	39. Home Ain't Where His Heart Is Anymore

Sorry that it took me so long, again! Thanks a lot for the great reviews!!

--

_NCIS Headquarters_

_March 2014_

--

Ziva sat at her desk and tried to look busy. But still she was more than occupied with the conversation Tony was having with this woman. She was fresh from the academy in her mid-twenties, blond and beautiful and the moment she had been assigned to Tony's team he had developed a crush on her. Betsy! Could there be a name more stupid? Betsy!

"Hey, what's going on?" Ziva was pulled from her thoughts and looked into the blue eyes of Peter.

"Nothing," Ziva lied but had her view still fixed on the couple on the other side of the room.

"Ah, I see," Peter said when he located the object that caused Ziva's disgust.

"What is it about you guys that the moment a young beautiful thing walks into the room you start acting like total morons?" Ziva asked still staring into the direction of Tony who laughed at something that Betsy had just said.

"Don't ask me," Peter laughed. "I wouldn't know. We don't do things like that."

Ziva looked now at Peter, "Are you saying that if instead of Betsy, let's say Miguel comes walking in you wouldn't act like that?"

"No, we don't have it in us," Peter grinned and sat down at Tony's old desk which had been his for the last three years. He had hoped to lighten Ziva's mood, but had to realize he had failed. "Ziva, he loves you. That," he pointed at Tony and Betsy, "doesn't mean a thing."

Ziva sighed. She wasn't sure that it didn't mean a thing.

--

"Scott no!" Lil's voice came out of the kitchen, while her one year old son tried to pull down one of her flower vases from the dining room table.

"I got him," Ziva called and picked the little trouble maker up.

"Thanks Ziva! You can't leave that child alone for a minute," Lil' laughed coming out of the kitchen with two coffee mugs in her hand.

Ziva didn't respond. She watched her son playing in the garden.

"Are you alright?" Lil' asked sitting down next to her and taking Scott out of Ziva's arms.

"Mmh?" Ziva looked at Lil'.

"You're so absent minded today. Is everything alright?" Lil' was concerned it was not like Ziva to be daydreaming.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ziva lied but knew that she wouldn't get through with it.

"Come on, Ziva! Something is bothering you," Lil' pushed carefully.

Ziva sighed and forced herself to fully concentrate on Lil', "Does Tim ever flirt with other woman?" she asked.

"Well not that I know," Lil' answered surprised, "But I guess he was never much of a flirter anyway. He barely flirted with me when we met. Why?"

"Ah, nothing," Ziva shook her head and got up to step out onto the porch.

"Hey mommy," Sam came running towards her.

"Hey honey, I think it's time for you to come inside. It's cold!" Ziva called out.

"I want hot chocolate," Sam exclaimed while he climbed up the stairs and flew into his mothers arms.

"You have to ask aunt Lil' for that," she answered while helping him out of his gloves and winter shoes.

"M'kay," he nodded and walked slowly towards Lil'.

"Hey Sam," Lil' smiled down at Sam and ruffled his dark hair, "What can I do for you?"

"Hot chocolate!" he cheered.

"Sam!" Ziva warned him.

"Please," he added and smiled the smile he had inherited from his father. And though he was not even three years old he knew exactly that that smiled would get him anything he wanted. Unless it was his mother.

"Let's go into the kitchen and see what we can do," Lil' laughed and took little Sam by the hand.

They spent the evening with the kids until McGee came home and Ziva said her goodbyes. She was about to climb into her car, when Lil' called out to her. She followed Ziva out to the car and Ziva looked at her surprised.

"Did I forget something?" she asked.

"No, no!" Lil' shook her head. "I just wanted you to know that if you need someone to talk, I'm here."

Ziva nodded, "Thank you, but I'm fine." Her words were almost harsh, although she didn't mean it. But this wasn't something she wanted to discuss with anyone.

--

Tony was home late that night. Carefully not to wake someone he climb up the stairs and entered the master bedroom.

"You could have called," Ziva greeted him the minute he walked into the dark room.

"Jeez Ziva! You scared me to death!" he exclaimed and then explained "We were busy." He had no interest to get into a fight with her again.

"It's a one minute thing to call me, Tony!" she hissed.

"What's the big deal?" he asked annoyed. "You know the job."

"Yes I know the job Tony! But still I'm able to call you when it's getting late!" she tried to stay calm.

Tony laughed and threw his trousers into the corner, "You're sounding like a desperate housewife now."

"What?!" Ziva couldn't believe that he had just said that.

"Since when are you such a," he was interrupted.

"Be careful what you say," she hissed and gathered his pillow, throwing it out into the hallway.

"What?!" he looked at her. "You're throwing me out? You're are kidding me."

"I'm just setting you free from the boring person I obviously became," she said.

"I didn't say that," he tried to paddle back.

"No, but that's what you meant!"

"Zee," he tried a pleading tone.

"I don't want you in here tonight," she stayed stern.

"Fine, just fine," he grunted and picked up the pillow from the floor.

--

When she walked into the living room the next morning, he was already gone. She sighed. When did it all start to fall apart? When had it become so difficult. Sure it was not easy with a child and both parents working but it never had been so hard. They barely spoke to one another anymore and if they did it was about arrangements who would pick Sam up from the day care. She grabbed the pillow Tony had used and clutched it to her chest.


	40. The Thunder Rolls

Two in a row. I'm just a bit proud of myself. Enjoy. And thanks for reading.

---

_Washington D.C.  
March 2014_

Tony gulped down another whiskey while staring at the wall in front of him. He was angry. Angry with Ziva for making everything so complicated and angry with himself for not being able to figure out what was going on. He slammed the glass on the table and signalled the bartender to make him another one. He had spent the whole week on the couch in the living room and every time he tried to talk to Ziva it had ended in a big fight. It had been difficult for weeks between them but now it seemed that everything got out of control.

He felt the presence of someone else sitting down next to him. He glanced to his left to see Betsy. He managed a polite smile, while inwardly rolling his eyes. She was annoying. It was so obvious what she was trying to do and he had no interest at all in her. But he had to be polite nevertheless she was still on his team.

"Hi Tony," she beamed, moving even closer.

Tony just nodded and stared into his empty glass, wishing she would just go away.

"Are you alright?" Betsy asked, her hand coming to rest on his. He let it happen, too tired to shrug her off.

"I'm fine," he grunted.

"You don't look fine," she stated and let her hand wander up his arm and through his hair. "It's because of Ziva, isn't it?"

He didn't respond.

"You know I don't understand why she is so hard on you! You're such a wonderful man and she doesn't see it."

Again he said nothing.

"You know," Betsy went on, feeling encouraged by his silence, "She doesn't deserve you."

Tony's head flew around in shock and Betsy took the opportunity to do something she had longed for. Her lips where on his before he could stop her and it took him a second to register what she was doing, before he pushed her away.

He glared at her, anger obvious in his eyes. "What do you think you're doing?" he hissed.

"I, I," she stuttered, "I thought you wanted it too!"

"No Betsy! I don't want you to kiss me and I don't want to kiss you either. And I don't want you to talk about Ziva like that. I'm with Ziva and I have no plans on changing that. I love her and I would really appreciate it, if you could just stay out of my business!"

His tone left no room for arguments and Betsy was smart enough not to say anything more. She whispered, "I'm sorry," and was gone.

Tony sighed, head in his hands and decided that it was time to go home.

--

Ziva sat in the living room, reading a book when she heard him enter the house. She had hoped that they would get a chance to talk, but when he hadn't showed up right after work she knew that they would most likely end up having another fight.

"Ziva," she heard him call out her name and she knew that he was drunk.

Tony stumbled into the living room in search of her. He stopped when he saw her on the couch. For a minute he said nothing, just staring at her, before he moved closer, his arms held up in a desperate manner, "I'm sorry!" he slurred, before coming to halt in front of her.

Ziva laid the book aside and slowly got up, with pure will power forcing herself to stay calm, "For what, Tony?" she asked, staring at him and then she saw it. The lipstick on his cheek and collar.

Tony never got the chance to answer her question. Ziva swirled around and picked up his keys that he had placed on the table when he had entered minutes before and threw it at him. The key hit him hard over his left eye and he winced in pain.

"I want you out!" she yelled at him.

"But Ziva," he tried to get her attention, "It's not what you think!"

"Oh don't do that Tony! After all don't act like I am a fool! It's this Betsy isn't it? I watched the two of you in the office. You might have fooled me, made me believe you changed but you couldn't fool yourself, could you?! You're still the old Tony. Chasing every skirt, especially if the one who's wearing is a blond bimbo."

"No!" he shook his head vehemently.

"Come on Tony! Admit it! You always left the backdoor open for a quick escape. But you know what? You can use the front door. I'm not holding you back," she tried to sound strong, but he heard the tears in her voice.

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked confused.

"You know damn well what I mean. And now go! I don't want you here in this house any longer!"

"But Ziva," he pleaded.

"Mommy?" Sam called from upstairs.

"It's alright honey. I'm coming," Ziva turned around and headed for the stairs, while Tony didn't move. "Go! I can't stand you near me," she said tears in her eyes. "It's over, Tony!"

Slowly, very slowly Tony left the house. Wondering what had just happened.

--

"Mommy, where's daddy," Sam asked while Ziva tucked him into his bed once more.

"He needed to leave," Ziva answered and tried to hide the tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry," Sam smiled, using the same words his parents always told him, "It's gonna be alright."

Ziva smiled sadly and whispered, "Yes, honey. It's gonna be alright."

--

Tony did not knock, he just walked in and headed for the basement, where Gibbs was building just another boat.

When he saw Tony, he open one of his drawers and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He placed it on top of the work bank and took two mugs from one of the boards. Without a word he filled the cups and handed one to Tony.

"She left me," Tony said and sank onto the floor, his head resting against the boat.

"What happened," Gibbs asked, knowing that there must be a story behind it.

"I don't know," he sighed.

"Could it have something to do with this pink lipstick?" Gibbs asked and pointed at Tony's collar.

"Betsy," Tony just said.

"I see," Gibbs nodded.

"What do you see?" Tony looked up. "I didn't do anything!"

"You didn't?" Gibbs frowned.

"Look, she kissed me. I pushed her back. It's not my fault. I swear I didn't do anything!" he looked so helpless that Gibbs had no doubt, that he was telling the truth.

"Did you tell Ziva that?"

"She wouldn't let me," Tony sighed.

"And you're wondering why?" Gibbs smirked.

Tony just nodded, taking another sip from his drink.

"You and Betsy seem to get along with each other pretty well," Gibbs started to get Tony on the right track.

"What do you mean?" he asked confused.

"All your chatting and laughing with her at the office. Did you think Ziva wouldn't notice?"

"It didn't mean anything," Tony defended himself.

"Well it did mean something to Betsy, obviously and it did mean something to Ziva, didn't it?"

Tony sighed again and stared at the ground, "It was so difficult between us in the last months. It was just nice to chat with someone who had nothing to do with it. To forget about all the problems for awhile. It was never more. Not to me." he said quietly.

"Must have felt different to Ziva," Gibbs said while refilling Tony's mug.

"I begin to see that," Tony replied thoughtful. "But believe me I never was attracted to Betsy, nor did I approach her in anyway!"

"It's not important that I believe you," Gibbs looked down at him, "It's important that Ziva believes you, if you want to give this relationship a chance."

Tony shot up from the ground, "Of course I do. I love her!"

"Did you tell her that?" Gibbs asked.

"Yes, sure!" Tony said less enthusiastic.

"Lately?"

There was no answer. Tony tried to clear his thoughts, something Ziva had said was running through his mind.

"You know she said something about me always leaving the backdoor open to have an easy way out."

Gibbs smirked, "And?"

"What does she mean?" Tony frowned.

"What every woman means and wants," Gibbs replied wisely.

Tony did not understand. What was that supposed to mean?

"Commitment," Gibbs said and turned back to sit on the stairs.

"Commitment?" Tony thought. "You mean marriage?"

Gibbs just shrugged since the answer was obvious.

Tony shook his head. "But she never mentioned anything," he said more to himself. "And I mean, it's Ziva she's not like all the other women. She doesn't need a weeding ring to know that we belong together."

Gibbs laughed, "DiNozzo, she's nevertheless and most of all a woman! She might not need an overly romantic proposal and a white wedding, but that doesn't mean that she does not want to marry you."

Tony leant against the boat his mug in his hand and Gibbs could swear that he heard him think.

"You know what? You'll stay here tonight and tomorrow you'll talk to her. I mean really talk to her and you'll see everything will work out fine in the end," Gibbs patted Tony on the shoulder before he climbed up the stairs. Tony stood alone for a while in the dark, before he followed him.

--

The next morning came merciless. Tony's cell phone rang before dawn and before he could clearly think he was on his way to Norfolk. His talk to Ziva would have to wait.


	41. If tomorrow never comes

I'm so sorry it always takes me so long. I had this finished and then started it all over again. Writers block I guess.

--

_NCIS Headquarters  
March 25th, 2014_

_--_

When Ziva entered the bullpen the next morning she was relieved to see that Tony and his team were gone. After she had dropped off Sam at day-care she had stopped at a nearby park to go for a short run which had emerged into an hour long sprint. She was late which never happened and in desperate need of a shower when she threw her bag behind her desk.

McGee looked up, frowning, "You're alright?"

"I'm fine," she hissed and turned on her heels.

"Where are you going?" McGee called after her.

"Shower," she replied dryly and disappeared, leaving McGee behind, who wondered what could have happened.

The hot water nearly burned her skin, but she didn't care. She wanted to wash away the pain in her heart. She was angry, hurt and confused. And while feeling angry and hurt was something she was used to or at least familiar with, being emotionally confused was something she had barely dealt with in her life. She was asking herself if this mess could somehow be her fault. If she could be responsible for him turning towards another woman? Had she really turned into a desperate housewife? Though she knew that he was the one to blame, that he was the one how cheated, she was looking for an escape, something that showed her that she was responsible as well. She was looking for away to be able to forgive him.

She turned the water from hot to cold, eagerly forcing the thoughts to go away but had no luck. She turned off the water and grabbed for a towel before she dressed up and was about to dry her hair when she heard a knock on the door. She starred at the door.

"Ziva," she heard Gibbs' voice on the other side.

"I'll be right there," she exclaimed, biting her lip. She would be in trouble.

"Can I come in?" Gibbs' asked. Ziva didn't respond, instead she put the hairdryer down and watched the door slowly open.

For a moment they just starred at each other. Gibbs being unsure how to start and Ziva wondering what was going on.

"Is this about Tony?" she finally asked and turned to the mirror on the wall, busying herself with her hair.

Gibbs moved further into the room coming to stand behind her, watching her face in the mirror. He nodded in response to her question.

"If he sent you to talk to me, you don't even have to start," she said as calm as she could although she felt he blood running in her veins.

"Ziva," Gibbs started but was cut off.

"No Gibbs! I don't want to discuss this. Not now and not anytime soon," she was too stern and to occupied with her building rage to acknowledge the expression on Gibbs face.

"Ziva," he said again an uncharacteristic tone filling the air, he almost sounded vulnerable and it made Ziva look at his reflection. Their eyes locked in the mirror though her back was still turned towards him. "Tony was involved in a shooting at Norfolk," he could see the change in her eyes, the rage making room for worry.

"What?" she asked.

"He's on his way to the hospital," Gibbs said with a soothing tone, his hand coming to rest on her shoulder.

"How bad is it?" Ziva asked putting on her brave face.

"I don't know," Gibbs answered honestly. "Come on, I'll drive you."

"But Sam?" she asked.

"Lil' is picking him up from day-care and she's taking care of him as long as necessary. Let's go," he took her arm and pulled her gently towards the door.

She saw McGee and the look on his face, she saw him open his mouth, saying something to her, but she couldn't hear him. The world had gone silent and all she could hear was the fast beating of her heart that forced her to go on.

--

She followed Gibbs through the long white corridor that lead them from the ER to the waiting room where they were promised to get more information about Tony's current condition. She was glad that Gibbs was with her, because she wasn't able to form one useful thought. She just followed him like a shadow, without saying a word.

They were greeted by one of the nurses and the look on her face told them that she had bad news. Ziva stayed closely behind Gibbs almost hiding behind him not wanting to hear anything.

"Agent Gibbs?" the nurse asked and was answered with a nod. She looked at Ziva with a questioning look and then back at Gibbs.

"This Agent David," Gibbs explained. "Agent DiNozzo's wife," he added lying, knowing that this lie would make a lot of things easier for all of them.

The nurse nodded and offered Ziva a warm smile, before she signaled them to take a seat, "Agent DiNozzo's condition is serious," she started, "He lost a high amount of blood before he got here and the doctors are still trying to stop the bleeding. The bullet has unfortunately caused more damaged than we had expected. I'm sorry that I can't give you any better news."

"Thank you," Gibbs said and glanced at Ziva who sat beside him, looking pale and small.

"Could you come with me for a moment Agent Gibbs? You need to fill out some form for us," the nurse looked at Gibbs who nodded and followed her around the corner. "I didn't want to say it in front of her," she explained, "But you should be prepared for the worst. I'm sorry, but it doesn't look good."

Gibbs nodded his mind racing.

"I'll keep you informed," the nurse said and turned to leave.

Gibbs nodded quickly and turned back to Ziva.

"Ziva," he said softly and she looked up at him. Her big brown eyes pleading.

"I can't lose him," she whispered. "I can't lose him!"

"I know," Gibbs said and pulled her close. Kissing the top of her head, wishing he could promise her that she won't.


	42. What's too painful to remember

I know you wanted the other storyline to continue, but I think we need to jump into the future once more. Anyway this story is slowly coming to an end. But not just yet! Thanks for the lovely reviews I recieved! They're very much appreciated.

I think you'll like this one!

--

_Reedville/Virginia  
Chesapeake Bay_

_January 8th, 2055_

Tony awoke the next morning, a terrible pain shooting through his back, he grunted and opened his eyes, looking directly into her brown eyes which were dancing with amusement.

"Getting old, yes?" she asked grinning and he couldn't help but laugh, which unfortunately caused him even more pain.

She laughed and slowly got up, allowing him to do the same. Her bones were aching too, but she wouldn't admit it, not on a day like this. He stood in front of her and smiled, one of the brightest smiles she had ever seen.

"I can't believe you're still here," he said softly, brushing her cheek with his finger tips.

"Me either," she whispered and was about to kiss him, when there was a knock on the door and one of the nurses came in.

"Good mor..," she stop mid-sentence staring and Tony, "Mr. DiNozzo what are you doing here?" she asked shocked.

"Well," he shifted from one foot to the other, looking somehow embarrassed. "I, I mean we," he stammered.

"What my husband wants to say is, that he stayed over-night," Ziva grinned and winked at Tony.

"Well, I suppose when you're feeling so well Mrs. DiNozzo," she said but shot Tony a warning look.

She turned to leave but signalled Tony that she wished to talk to him.

"I'll be right back," he said and went after her.

"Mr. DiNozzo your behavior is more than irresponsible!" she said her voice low but clear.

"But she's doing fine," he defended himself, knowing that he was walking on thin ice.

"Now she's fine but we both know how fast that is going change. What would you have done if she woke up in the middle of the night not knowing who you are?"

"I know," he said. "But I just couldn't leave."

"Mr. DiNozzo, I know how much you love your wife. And everyone admires and highly respects what you are doing for her, but you have to promise me, you won't do that again!"

"Alright," Tony nodded.

"Thank you and now go back and enjoy your time together," she smiled and left.

--

She smiled when she saw him lying on the couch, eyes closed and obviously fast asleep. She sat down beside him, careful not to wake him and studied his face. He looked peaceful and so much younger, when his features were totally relaxed. She could only imaging how much trouble she caused him, how much worry. She sighed and let her fingers caress his face. He was still handsome after all those years, Anthony DiNozzo was still a handsome man. In moments like this, when her mind was clear she was so grateful for all those happy years they had spent together but she couldn't stop the anger about her current condition to come to the surface. It was not so much pity for herself, that she had to spent most of her days in a comforting foggy state of mind, but she feeling of being responsible for Tony's situation. She knew he would never leave her, even if she begged him to, so she didn't even tried. But she was sorry that he had to spent his life here with her, worrying instead of enjoying life with his children and grandchildren.

He stirred and slowly open his eyes, a big smile on his face.

"Hey," he said taking her hand and placing a soft kiss on it.

"Hey," she smiled back.

"Must have fallen asleep," he stated the obvious and got up slowly.

"For about an hour. I was on the phone with the kids and Abby," her smile grew even wider.

"Must have been a surprise," he said.

"That it was! Kate and Sam are trying to get here with the kids," her smile vanished.

"What?" he looked at her concerned by the sudden change of mood.

"Gosh I just hope, they'll make it in time," she sighed.

"They will! Trust me they will," he stated with all his confidence and pulled her close.

--

"Mom!" Kate called out when she spotted her parents standing on the front porch five hours later.

Ziva handed the coffee mug she was holding to Tony and made her way down the porch and through the snow, her arms wide open, when her daughter landed in them.

"Kate," was all she could say before they both started to cry. They stood there for minutes holding each other until Ziva finally pulled away to take a proper look at her daughter. "You look great," she finally concluded and pulled her close again.

"I can't believe you're here," Kate whispered.

"I'm always here," Ziva said softly, "A part of me is always here with you. Come on lets go inside it's freezing out here."

They walked back to the porch, where Kate hugged her father tightly before she linked arms with her mother again and they all walked back into the house.

"Where are the kids?" Ziva asked when she sat down beside Kate in front of the flickering fire place.

"Scott is on his way to bring them around. As soon as you called I jumped into the car to get here and Scott picked them up from school," Kate explained. "What about Sam?"

"What about your favorite brother?" Sam exclaimed from the door way and then rushed at his mothers side to hug her.

"Sam," she whispered and kissed his cheek, before he sat down at her other side, taking her hands in his.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I haven't felt this good in a long, long time. It's so good to see you!"

"Lisa is on her way with the children," Sam explained, while getting out of his coat. "They should be here any …!"

"Minute," Lisa and Scott said at the same second before five children entered the room like a thunder storm and stopped just in front of their grandmother.

"Are you there?" Tali asked a bit unsure. It had never been easy for the kids to understand why their beloved grandmother couldn't remember them.

"Yes I'm here," Ziva laughed and opened her arms to her laughing grand children.

--

They spent the whole day together and it was only late at night when Kate and Sam said goodbye and shoved their families back into the cars.

"Kate," Sam called out before she climbed into the drivers seat, while Scott and Lisa had already head for the main road. She turned around to see her brother coming towards her.

"Hey," she smiled and stepped back from the car. "What's up?"

"How are you feeling?" he asked, a serious expression on his face.

"I'm fine," Kate said, looking away.

"You don't sound fine," Scott said and stepped closer. "Hey, look at me," he demanded softly, placing his hand on her arm.

She did as told and he could see the tears shimmering in her eyes.

"Hey," he whispered and pulled her close, her arms immediately flying around his waist.

"Why does it feel, like this is a goodbye forever," she sobbed and pulled him even closer.

"Don't say that," he tried to reassure her, "It's going to be alright. She's going to be alright," but he knew that their mother wouldn't be alright.

--

Tony smiled into the dancing flames and realized that he had smiled a lot today. It had been a long time since he had felt like this.

"You look happy," Ziva said and sat down beside him, his arm immediately holding her close.

"I am," he answered. "I haven't been this happy in a long time."

"Me either. Not that I remember a lot," she said and couldn't help but giggle. "Almost perfect. I wished Abby, Tim and Lil' could have been here today as well."

Tony nodded and they fell into a comfortable silence for a while until Ziva finally spoke, "I'm sorry that you have to go through all this."

"What?" Tony looked confused.

"It must be hard for you to see me like this. To be here everyday and hoping that I come back," she said.

He looked at her and slowly let his hands wander over her face, her eyes her mouth before he finally replied, "Days like this make it worth! I will never leave you. Never. I'll wait as long as it takes for you to come back to me. As long as it takes!"

She smiled, tears in her eyes and leant forward to kiss him, "Thank you," she whispered.

They held each other for a while until Tony finally pulled her up and walked her to her room.

"Good night," he said, leaning into kiss her.

"Where do you think you're going?" she frowned and pulled back.

"Zee, the nurse made me promise that I stay in my own bed tonight. You know it's for the best," he said although he wished it was different.

"You know what I think? It's best for me, when you're near me. Please, who knows when we'll meet again," she pleaded and then smirked, "Since when do you follow orders?"

He laughed, "All right! I'll stay."

They had one last glance down the corridor to see if someone had watched them, before they closed the door and spent most of the night talking.


	43. More Love

Thanks for the great reviews for the last chapter and sorry that, again, it took me so long. There are two more chapters to come.

Enjoy and thanks for reading!!

--

Bethesda Hospital  
_March 25th, 2014_

They were still waiting three hours later, while nurses kept passing them by without any news on Tony's condition. Abby and McGee had arrived and Ducky was on his way. They all had tried to comfort Ziva, but she refused to talk to anybody. Abby kept mumbling that everything would turn out fine in the end, while McGee held her hand and shared some helpless glances with Gibbs.

"How is he?" Ducky asked the minute he rounded the corner.

"We don't know," Gibbs answered and got up to greet Ducky.

"My dear, how are you?" Ducky now turned to Ziva and her empty eyes stared back at him. She got up without saying a word and walked towards the elevators. She just couldn't take it anymore.

"Ziva!" Abby called out and was about to follow her, when Gibbs held her back.

"Give her some space," he said softly. "She'll come back when she's ready."

"But?!" Abby protested.

"Abby, please," Gibbs voice was firm and Abby sat slowly back beside McGee.

Gibbs stepped aside with Ducky who could see the worried expression on his friends face.

"She's not doing good, is she?" Ducky stated the obvious.

"They had a big fight. She more or less left him," Gibbs sighed.

"What? What could have probably happened?" Ducky was shocked.

"Sometime they're just like children. Instead of talking things through they rather settle for unfounded accusations."

"At least one thing you learnt during marriage," Ducky smiled and patted his friends back. "Let's go back to the others."

--

Ziva stood in the chilly air, she was freezing, but she didn't care. She felt numb, whishing that she could just vanish. She was so lost in thoughts that at first she didn't see her coming.

Her voice pulled her out of her thoughts, "Ziva?"

Ziva's head shot up and met the eyes of the other woman, "How dare you?!" Ziva hissed and it was only the numbness she felt that stopped her from killing Betsy.

"I wanted to know how he is," Betsy mumbled staring at the ground and avoiding Ziva's gaze.

"That is none of your business," Ziva nearly screamed.

"He's my team leader," Betsy tried to reason with her but only saw hate in the other woman's eyes.

"Oh and sooo much more, isn't he?" Ziva laughed now, a sarcastic laugh that frightened Betsy. She heard enough rumour about Ziva to know what she was capable of.

"What?" Betsy's fear shortly was suppressed by confusion.

"Don't play the fool. I know about your tête-à-tête. I saw your lipstick on his collar," Ziva voice was dark, but she didn't move an inch.

Betsy was silent for awhile until she realized what Ziva was referring to, "He pushed me away," she suddenly said and for the first time Ziva's expression changed.

"What?" she whispered.

"Yes, I tried to kiss him, but he pushed me away and he was very clear about who owned his heart. I would apologize for my actions if I my moral standards were higher. But I believe you can't blame a girl for trying. I have asked for being transferred to another base though. I'm leaving at the end of the week. But I still think he deserves better than you. I could offer him so much more, but he's obviously to blind to see that."

Ziva couldn't say anything. She just ignored the bitchy things that Betsy had said, all that ringed in her ears was the fact that Tony had pushed Betsy away.

"He loves you Ziva, probably more than anything else!" she let out a sarcastic laugh, "It's about time you realize that!" she turned on her heels and left, leaving Ziva in the cold and alone with her thoughts.

Could she really have misjudged the whole situation this badly? Had she misjudged Tony this badly? She wanted to go back inside, but she couldn't move. The numbness slowly gave away to another feeling. The pain hit her full force and she couldn't hold the tears back any longer. She sank to the ground, her arms clutched around her chest, while the words she had yelled at him repeated and repeated in her head, "It's over!"

She didn't notice the strong arms that pulled her up and close, only when her face was pressed against some warm material and hands circled in a soothing manner over her back, she realized who was holding her tight.

"I did him wrong," she sobbed and she pulled Gibbs even closer.

"It's okay," Gibbs tried to reassure her. "It's okay!"

"What if he's not gonna make it? What if I can't tell him that I didn't mean it?" she sounded so helpless, that it nearly broke Gibbs heart.

"You will," he whispered and gave her a fatherly kiss on the top of the head. "Now come back in, it's freezing outside!"

--

_3 days later_

He had watched her for some time now, not wanting to wake her. Her head rested on his lower abdomen, while her hand rested on his chest. When he had woken up the first time, he had felt like hell. Not so much because of his physical condition, but because she was not there. He had recalled what had happened the night before he had been shot and his hopes sank that she would come to see him. This time he had sensed her presence immediately, had felt the warmth of her body on his and when he had opened his eyes, she was there.

He let his fingers wander through her hair and stopped at the soft skin of her neck, she stirred in her sleep and moved even closer to him. On his way to the hospital when he was still conscious, he had made a promise to himself. He would do everything better from now on, he would fight for Ziva and he would never again allow that she doubted his love for her. He wanted desperately to kiss her, but his wound didn't allow him to move. So he settled for watching her again.

A few minutes later, she slowly opened her eyes and was greeted by a soft smile on his lips.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," she whispered back, her eyes filling up with tears.

"Hey, I'm fine," he tried to reassure her, but had no luck.

"I love you," she got out in between sobs.

His smile widened, "I love you, too!"

She shook her head and for a second he was confused, "I'm sorry," she finally said and now he was the one shaking his head.

"No I'm sorry," he said grapping her hand in order to stop her from leaving his side.

"I should have trusted you," she went on, "Or at least listened to you!"

"And I should have done the same thing," he looked at her, "I'll do better from now on. I promise!"

"I thought I'd lost you," she said, tears still running down her face.

He pulled her back at his side and forced her to sit down, "And I thought_ I _had lost _you_."

"Tony," she sobbed. He pulled her down, her face on his chest, ignoring the pain that it caused, needing desperately to hold her close.

"There's never going to be someone else for me," he whispered into her ear and felt her relax. "Marry me!"

Her head shot up and she looked at him, "What?!"

"Marry me!" he repeated and was amused by her confused look.

"How much painkiller are they giving to you?" she asked. "I think it's messing with your head!"

He shook he head, his expression serious, "I know exactly what I'm doing. Marry me!"

"But," she didn't get to finish.

"No buts! Marry me! You're stuck with me until the end anyway! Marry me!" he insisted

Slowly she nodded her head, "Yes," she whispered.

"Yes?!" he asked, wanting to be absolutely sure.

"Yes!" she said again louder and leant down to kiss him.

Gibbs had watched the scene from the door way. He walked back to the elevators a smile on his face.


	44. We simply choose to forget

Hello everybody,  
there is one more chapter to come, but I already like to thank you for reading this story, which means a lot to me. For all your reviews, story alerts, favourite story etc. And for keeping up with my slow updates. I thought long about how to end this story and I decided on letting it end with a light part and not with this one, because in the end we always have to look out for the good times and for the memories that make us smile on a cold, dark day. There's always a next day, always a tomorrow and those memories stay in our hearts forever.  
Thanks for reading.

I dedicate this story to my grandmother, the best grandmother in the world. I miss you!

---

_Manteo  
January 22nd, 2055_

They walked back in silence to the small restaurant Tony and Ziva had always loved so much. It was untypical warm for January and the sun shined brightly down on the small group that was all dressed in black.

"I miss them already," Kate mumbled and moved closer into her brother's embrace.

"I know, me too," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on his sisters head. "But at least they are together. I think that's the way they always wanted it to be."

Kate looked up, searching for confirmation and found it in his eyes. A small smile playing around her lips, "Yes, I guess you're right!"

"It was a good idea to come here. I mean here to Gibbs?" Abby fumbled with words, glancing at McGee who strolled at her side, his arm placed around Lil's waist.

"Yeah, they would have liked it and Gibbs too," he answered and then added smiling, "Now they can go on his nerves again!"

Abby grinned, picturing the scenario, Ziva and Tony knocking on Gibbs door or whatever you have up there and telling him: We're back!

"It all went awfully fast, didn't it?" she continued the smile gone from her face.

McGee nodded, "He seemed to be fine the last time we saw him."

"Yes that's what I thought," Abby agreed and fell silent.

"Don't you think that they always had a very special bond?" Lil' asked, "I wouldn't wonder if this special bond has made these decision for them. Maybe it was always mend to be this way. They found each other and it was their decision to go together. No one leaving the other one behind."

"I like that idea," Abby smiled. "They were special!" She leant over to squeeze Lil's hand, while her other brushed away a single tear that ran down her cheek.

"And they could spent their last days together. I mean really together. Isn't that what people always say. That before you go, everything seems to be clearer," McGee looked at his two favourite women, "Maybe Ziva knew what was going to happen, maybe they both knew that those two days would be their last ones."

"Maybe," Abby nodded.

--

They sat together, eating spaghetti, lost in memories and old stories. From time to time each one remembering in silence how they received the call that changed their world forever. They all lost someone, a father, a mother, a grandfather, a grandmother or a friend. But most important they all had lost someone they had truly loved.

"Mom?" Tali looked up at her mother, a question forming in her eyes. "Where have they gone?"

"Who honey?" Kate asked confused.

"Grandma and grandpa! Where did they go?"

"Oh sweetheart," Kate sighed, fighting back the tears, "To a wonderful place, where they can share eternity together."

"And we can never see them again?" Tali asked, her big brown eyes filling up with tears.

Kate shook her head, tears falling down her face, "Someday you will. But not for a very long time. And until then you'll keep their memories alive. They are always with you, here," she placed her hand over her daughters heart, "Here in your heart, they're always with you! And whenever you want to talk to grandma or grandpa, they will listen. Okay?"

Tali nodded and Kate hugged her tightly, kissing her head, "I love you, sweetheart!"

"I love you too, mommy!"

--

Two hours later they stood on the beach, two miniature wooden boats lying in the sand.

"Tim, Ben! Would you like to light up the candles?" Sam asked his son and his nephew and handed them the small candles that were to be placed on the boats. The boys did as told and held the little ships in their hands, when Sam asked them to put them into the water.

They all stood side by side holding each others hands, when the boys set the boats free and watched them sail slowly out to the open sea.

Finally Abby took a step forward unfolding a piece of paper she had in her pocket and started to read:

_"Do not stand at my grave and weep,  
I am not there, I do not sleep.  
I am in a thousand winds that blow,  
I am the softly falling snow.  
I am the gentle showers of rain,  
I am the fields of ripening grain.  
I am in the morning hush,  
I am in the graceful rush  
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,  
I am the starshine of the night.  
I am in the flowers that bloom,  
I am in a quiet room.  
I am in the birds that sing,  
I am in each lovely thing.  
Do not stand at my grave and cry,  
I am not there. I do not die."_


	45. The Way We Were

Here it is, the final chapter! Thanks for reading my story and for the great reviews. I hope you enjoyed our little journey. Thank you!

--

_Great Falls, Virginia  
June 26, 2017_

Tony lay in a deck chair, overlooking the garden. They were celebrating his son's sixth birthday and everyone had gathered at the DiNozzo household enjoying the warm summer day. The kids were playing in the new installed swimming pool, while Sam was the king of the party, ordering the McGee kids around.

He spotted his wife in the pool, their little girl in her arms, who was shrieking and squealing in delight, while Ziva guided her through the water. Two-and-half year old Katherine was what you could call an independent young woman who caused her brother more and more trouble every day. Sometimes Ziva and he could only watch in wonder what she was able to do to her brother, considering that he was not only older but also taller. Tony grinned at the thought and his mind drifted back to the day, Ziva had told him, that she was pregnant again.

--

_Somewhere on the Road to Manteo_

_July, 9__th__ 2014  
_

"_Would you please hurry up, McGee!" Tony barked for the__ fourth time, since they had hit the road._

"_It's not my fault that the traffic is so heavy! I told you we should have left earlier!" McGee protested._

_Tony grunted in response and checked is watch for the third time. She would kill him if he was going to be late for their wedding, little did he know that Ziva was stuck in traffic as well._

"_Abby come on!" Ziva was skidding nervously in her seat._

"_They're all not moving," Abby stated the obvious, "What am I suppose to do?"_

"_Let's change!" Ziva ordered and was already getting out of the car._

"_What?!" Abby exclaimed and caused Ziva to lean back into the car through the passenger window, grabbing Abby's arm she barked, "Let me drive!"_

"_Okay, okay," Abby mumbled and only loud enough for herself, "Although there's nowhere to drive."_

_Abby of course, should have known better, the minute Ziva had moved behind the stirring wheel, she started scooting around the other vehicles, which entailed in a great honking concert of the other drivers. This again led Ziva to shout back at them in Hebrew and Abby shaking her head in amusement. _

_Nevertheless they made it on time to their destination, the beach of Manteo and even Tony was already waiting for her. It was a small, private wedding with only their closest friends. McGee was Tony's best man and Abby Ziva's bridemaid. Tony would never forget the moment Ziva appeared on the top of the dune, her arm safely linked with Gibbs, the brightest smile on her lips and he couldn't help but smile back._

_He remember__ed the long talks they had, after he had returned home from the hospital. They had talked things through and both had agreed to some changes. They both were slowly accepting that there were ups and downs, but they also learnt that they could never be happy without each other, that life was only good, when they were together and that it was only them who could make this work out. He couldn't be happier, this day would tie the knot for them and he couldn't wait to say yes. Anthony DiNozzo, womanizer and bachelor number one, couldn't wait to become married, couldn't wait to become her husband and to make her his wife._

_Ziva saw the sparkle in his eyes, when she slowly made her way at Gibbs side to the shore, to him. Her heart was pounding and she thought she would explode out of pure happiness, all she wanted was right in front of her. Her thoughts slowly drifted back to less happier times. Times when she thought she would never have a family. Times when life was just a flickering moment that could be over in the next. How many things have changed since she had arrived at NCIS for the first time and today was the day when everything came to closure. Her future standing right in front of her. She saw Sam beaming up proudly at his father, holding the rings fiercely in his hands. She was finally home, never had something felt so right as saying 'yes' to this wonderful man and to the life that lay before them._

--

"Tony!" someone called his name, and pulled him out of his day dream. He blinked into the sun to find out who was disturbing his thoughts. He saw Ducky waving at him and with a grunt got up to see what was going on.

"Hey Ducky, what's going on?" he asked when he reached the other end of the garden.

"We are getting hungry," Ducky stated with a grin and pointed towards the barbeque grill.

"I see," Tony laughed and was about to turn around before two wet arms flew around his leg. "Hey there!" He leant down and picked his dripping daughter up, holding her at arms length to prevent getting wet himself.

"Hi daddy," Kate smiled at her father.

"Do you want to help daddy with the meat?" he asked and already knew the answer.

"NO!!!" Kate squealed and turned in his arms.

"I thought so," Tony laughed and carried her back to the swimming pool.

"No daddy!" Kate laughed, when her father held her over the water. Tony grinned and let her fall into her mothers arms, turning towards the house he could still hear her laughing.

--

"_Tony?" Ziva looke__d up at her husband, her finger tips dancing over his chest._

"_Yes. Mrs. DiNozzo?" he smiled playing with a strain of her hair._

"_You haven't received my wedding present yet," she said moving further up to place a soft kiss on his lips._

"_Then give it to me!" he said eagerly, sitting up in bed._

"_Mmh, that could be a problem," she responded with a slight grin on her lips._

"_Why's that?" he asked looking like a disappointed school boy._

"_Because," she paused and chuckled, "It's not due for another six months."_

"_What?" Tony looked at her confused._

"_Well it takes nine months and…," she didn't get to finish her sentence, because his lips were on hers before she could help it._

_When he pulled back, she saw the brightest smile on his lips, "That's the best wedding present ever!"_

"_Yes?" she asked, her smile matching his._

"_Yes!"_

_--_

He was pulled out of his thoughts again, when Abby stormed into the kitchen a smirk on her face that told him he should better watch out.

"What is it Abs?" he asked and studied her closely.

"Oh nothing I just thought you could use a little refreshment," she laughed before she pulled out the water pistol from behind her back and aimed it at Tony's face.

"You won't do it!" he warned her, pointing his finger at her.

"Wanna bet?!" she shrieked and pulled the trigger. The jet of water hit Tony straight on the forehead, with closed eyes he stumbled forward to grab Abby, but she was quick enough to escape through the kitchen door into the garden.

"Abby!" she heard him call out and then saw him coming after her. She shrieked and started to run, but he was fast, too fast in fact.

"Tony, no! Please I'm sorry!" she couldn't stop laughing even when he picked her up and started out for the pool.

"Daddy what are you doing?" Sam asked and stared in wonder at his father who carried his laughing aunt through the garden.

"Aunt Abs, was a naughty girl and needs to be punished," he stated, looking extremely ridiculous.

"Ziva! Help me!" Abby cried out. "Your husband is crazy!"

Ziva just grinned, "You got yourself into this. Now pull yourself out again!"

But before Abby could plead for a truce, Tony had thrown her into the pool.

"Who's laughing now, Abs?" he stood at the edge of the pool a triumphant smile on his lips.

"Gibbs!" she laughed out and before Tony could turn around, he was pushed into the pool as well.

"Don't mess with my favourite girl," Gibbs smirked and walked back to Ducky.

--

_Tony walked down the long corridor his son's hand clutched to his._

"_Are you ready to see your sister?" he asked Sam._

"_What if she doesn't like me?" Sam asked back worried._

"_Hey, what's not to like," Tony smiled and picked his son up. "You're going to be the best big brother in the whole wide world, right?"_

"_Right!" Sam smiled proudly._

_Tony carefully pushed the door open to Ziva's room and smiled when he saw her awake and snuggling with their daughter._

"_Hey look who's here," Tony whispered and Ziva smiled at her son._

"_Hey honey, come here!" she held out her hand to Sam, who run at her side. Staring in wonder at the little thing in his mothers arms._

"_She so tiny!" he stated. "Was I ever this tiny?"_

_Tony nodded and picked him up to sit at his mothers side, "So what about a name?" _

_Ziva looked up at Tony, before she answered his question, "What about Katherine?"_

_Tony looked at his little girl, musing over the name, when Ziva continued, "We could call her Kate."_

_It was just a name but the meaning behind it was enormous._

"_I like the sound of that," he whispered and leant down to kiss his wife._

_--_

It was getting late. Their guests had long left and the kids were tugged in bed and fast asleep. Tony was back in his beloved deck chair and Ziva had jumped into the pool once more to do some exercise.

Tony was happy. He had a gorgeous, beautiful wife, wonderful kids, the best friends in the world, a job he loved, a house, a garden and he wished it would stay like this forever. He had ended far away from his expectations and was so much happier than he had ever thought possible. Life was good.

He was so lost in his thoughts that at first he did not recognize the water dripping down on him.

"Shit, it's not going to start raining, is it?" he mumbled.

"No," Ziva's mouth was suddenly at his ear, and her breath tickled him, before she straddled him completely.

"You're all wet!" Tony shrieked, which caused Ziva to laugh even more.

"I thought you liked it?" she smirked and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"You bet I do," he smirked back and somehow managed to pick her up and carry her towards the house.

"I love you," he whispered and kissed her.

"I love you too," she whispered back.

Life was good, for Tony DiNozzo and in moments like this, it was even perfect.

--

_So its the laughter  
We will remember  
Whenever we remember...  
The way we were...  
The way we were..._

--- The End ----


End file.
